OK, I was at a club in my hometown on Saturday night and met a very, VERY fine lady while I was there. I had never met her before but I start talking to her and find out that she knows me because of my older sister. Well it turns out that she knows my sister because she once messed around with one of my sister's ex-boyfrends while they were in their relationship. Now this was about 10 years ago when it happened but she told me my sister hates her because it happened. I said I didn't care it was between them so forget about my sister and that we could do whatever. I haven't talked to my sister about it because I believe that it is none of her business. Is this the right thing to do? Should I continue messing around with ths lovely lady knowing that my sister would have a very negative view of it and knowing that this lady directly affected my sister's life in a negative way?
I'd question getting involved with this woman -- not because of your sister (though that is a valid reason), but because what she revealed about her character when she got involved with a man who was already in a relationship. If she didn't care that she was potentially breaking up a relationship by dating an unavailable man, she may not be too concerned about keeping your potential relationship intact either. Of course a lot can happen in 10 years, and she may be a completely different person. But just be aware that tendency may still be there.
That's the thing, I'm not looking for a relationship just...well you know. I still think this would bother my sister though. I was really wanting to know what you would do about the sister situation. Like I said, I believe it's none of her business.
If you honest to God have NO interest in this girl other than sleeping with her, then you might be able to do it, but it still treads a rather delicate ethical boundry. If your sister EVER found out that you did and you knew what was up, she would be pissed and probably more than a little hurt. You should probably reconsider for numerous reasons, the least of which is how it would make your sister feel if she ever found out. She is your blood. If it would hurt her, it is her business.
OK, I will admit that there are other interests in this lady yet I believe that a relationship with her is impossible. For starters she has a child and I never get into a serious relationship with any woman with a child, sorry I know this offends many women but it's just a personal preference. I still believe it is none of my sister's business though. What happened has happended and it was ten years ago and she isn't with the guy anymore and hasn't been in about 7 years...she should get over it! Then again I don't know, I'm confused by the whole situation really and that's why I am asking for all of your opinions. I tried my friends first but as expected they basically said go through with it, which is what I thought at first but the more I thought about the whole situation may me realize the MORE I needed to think about it and get some more input from different sources.
Whether she SHOULD get over it or not really isn't up to you. It is important to consider her feelings in the matter. I mean, it would be one thing if you loved this girl but if you just want to lay your thing down, you probably should think twice.
"Get up off my feet and stop making tired excuses" Actually, I hate that song. Damn, that song's a douche.
I'd never do anything to hurt my sisters or anything that I think might hurt them, so I'd ask her first.
I agree with Mrs. JB about her character. However, the "once a cheater always a cheater" type rule does not always work. I have cheated on several of my boyfriends in high school. But I've been with Lynus for 1 year and 7 months and the thought has not even entered my head. So, I think if it's the right guy, a girl can be honest and true. Then again, if it's nothing more than, you know, it doesn't matter. If it bothers you enough that it might upset your sister, ask her. On the other hand, if you like this lady enough to want to see her and get your sister's approval, ask her. Does that make sense?
Well from the responses so far I have made a choice to tell my sister, I believe that I should just tell her and that's what I'm going to do, I don't care if she approves or not...simple as that, it's my choice whether to go through with it or not and live with what happens in the aftermath. There is another issue at hand here that you guys don't know about but I won't post it because it has been posted again and again and again...
There are millions of fine women out there, man. Your sister is irreplaceable. It's not worth ****ing this lady if you know it would hurt your sister for you to do it.
Seems to me that everyone's right. Your sister should get over it and you should think twice before getting involved with this woman.
Pun, since you are fairly certain that nothing serious will come from this, I see no reason to bring your sister into the picture. Hit it, split it, lick it and quit it, but also be honest with this woman about your intentions. By that I mean let her know you are not interested in a relationship right now. Two things can happen, you continue doing what you two are doing or she says she can't handle that and it's over. Either way, things are on your terms.
let me think about this for a minute....hmmmm, if you slept with this woman.....and she slept with your sister's boyfriend................does this mean you will have slept with your sister in reguards to that theory of........everytime you sleep with someone, you sleep with everyone they have slept with. ethic's aren't they a b*tch.
