What was your most embarrassing job or incident at work?

One time, I showed up for work in my underwear.....oh wait, that was the dream I had last night!!

When I worked at Long John Silvers, we were filtering out the grease vats one night. I left the hose hanging off the back of the vat, and the grease was ALL OVER the floor from the cooking area all the way to the back door. Thirty minutes later, the entire floor was white with specks of all kinds of crap in it. We were there until 2 am cleaning it up...Three weeks later, I quit because my boss mysteriously forgot to give me any hours for a strait week...he could have at least had the balls to fire me...

 

I was in a mid-afternoon meeting, came back to my office and noticed my authentic UT football helmet had been missing.

I accused my co-worker (he had been eyeing it for awhile). He denied it and was furious.

Later I found out our downstairs shoe shine boy, an OU grad, had taken it to be cleaned and polished.

Boy was I embarassed

I apologized to my co-worker and bought him a beer.

And as far as the shoeshine boy, I was going to give him a quarter for his hard work. He has since been replaced by an Aggy.

Oh well.

 

From the past 2 NFL rookie shoots:

Arrogant f*** Joey Harrington threw a granola bar at me and chastised me as a "rookie" in front of the rest of my (laughing) co-workers and other NFL rookies. (WTF? That was my second rookie shoot...) I wanted to pull a "Waterboy" and deck his ass, but that wouldn't have been very professional of me. So, I chose unflattering shots of him for trading cards. Yep. I sure showed him...

It didn't happen to me (although I was right there), but my boss got into a heated argument with Roy Williams. With everybody at the stadium looking on, Williams got really pissed off and had to be restrained from attacking my boss (who, to his credit, did absolutely nothing to warrant his ire). I thought Roy was going to kill him with his bare hands. We still egg my boss viciously about the whole incident.

Another time, at an NFL-sponsored dinner party, a couple of us were sitting at a table with Drew Brees, Justin Smith, and Mike Williams, and one of the company higher-ups came strolling by. He sat down next to Williams and started to introduce himself to the rookies at the table. He extended his hand to Brees and said, "Hi! I'm Joe." Without shaking his hand (and leaving him hanging), Brees took one look at him and said, "You're sitting in someone's seat." Joe got up and left, rather sheepishly, and all of us at the table burst out into laughter.

In the office:

Without realizing it was a holiday, I went into work. Upon walking through the door, I noticed that the entire place was empty. I put my jacket away, sat down at my cubicle, and turned my computer on. Just then, an alarm started buzzing all around him. It suddenly occured to me that I had tripped the alarm, and that today was a holiday. After a silent curse, I packed up my stuff, and went downstairs. I told the front desk about my idiocy and waited for the cops to show. I also got a call from an irate HR director, whom was woken up by the security company when the alarm was tripped. After answering some questions from the cops and showing proper ID, I returned home, my face bright red.

I've never told any of co-workers about the incident...

 

When I worked at Astroworld back in the 80's.

I got assigned to the Enchanted Condom, which sucked. Never any good-looking people. I kept having to flirt with this girl in a clown costume. That sucked. I hated the damn job. That sucked.

I ended up going to the manager's office after work one day to get reprimanded-I didn't get along with the son-of-a-b****.

Anyway, he was reading me his "write up"-still the funniest thing I've ever heard at work.

"Yesterday I was walking around the grounds at the Enchanted Condom and I noticed Fatty was leaning on the Bunny Carrot's. I ASKED him not to do it again, and caught Fatty leaning at the Elmer Boats. I AGAIN asked him not to do it and then I saw Fatty later SITTING at the Tweety Cages.

Looks at me very ominously. I pretty much blew him off. Then the b*stard starts writing very frantically on the paper.

"I've terminated Fatty for poor job performance."

Looks at me again very smugly. I basically say. "You're firing me from a minimum wage job that nobody wants? Congratulations!

I believe I spent the rest of the summer working at a frozen yogurt place.

 

I was 17 and working for some retail store. A lady came up to the counter and needed to pay for her stuff. I asked her when was she due to have her baby. She looked at me with a mean look and told me she wasnt pregnant, then stormed out of the store. I felt like crap that I hurt her feelings. I was young. It is funny now though.

 

I had to have my picture taken at work wearing some stupid detective outfit with the hat, pipe, and long trenchcoat(a regular Sherlock f**king Holmes). I looked so f-ing r****ded...I swear to God. So, anyway, this detective theme(related to the project/job I was doing at the time) in the photo was with some other people I worked with at the time. We all looked mighty stupid imho. Anyway, work never takes pictures they don't show the world. So, they end up showing this picture during a huge assembly of several hundred people on this huge several hundred inch screen. I was so embarrassed by that photo. I looked so f-ing stupid, man. There was a collective amusing sigh by everyone at the assembly. I don't know what they were thinking. I was thinking this is the end and I was about to go postal and take them all out . I WILL NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN...EVER!!!

 

When I was a bartender back in college, the owners of the place I worked at also owned a pool hall. We'd all go there after work, and one night, I swung by the house to throw on some comfy drawstring shorts and a T before I went over there. It gets hot in the summer, you know?

I got the place and had a few beers. I was in the back talking to one of the hostesses who was heading to the bathroom. She had turned to talk to me, but she was a good six or seven feet away from me.

A "friend" of mine came up behind me and yanked down my shorts....unfortunately, he got my boxers too. I just stood there staring at this girl with all three eyes. Fortunately, I had the available coolness to calmly bend over (after a few good seconds), and pull my pants back up.

 

Sounds like you worked and Dave and Busters for the murder mystery dinner.

 

Not quite...I wouldn't be able to support my lavish lifestyle on that crappy pay. I'm middle class.

 

While living in Austin in the early 1980s, the band I was playing with at the time had a gig at a place on Guadelupe called the Austin Outhouse.

After setting up and doing a soundcheck, they started letting people in. About 10 minutes before showtime, I noticed a friend of mine sitting at the bar. I sat down next to him and ordered a beer.

We began to talk, and while we were talking, my friend pulled a doobie out of his pocket and lit it up...at the bar.

I looked at him with this "why did you light that up in here" kind of look. When I did, he passed it to me.

As soon as I took it from him, the bartender came around from behind the bar, grabbed me by my shirt collar, said in a loud voice "you can't do that sh*t in here" and threw me out. I told him it wasn't mine, and I had a gig at his bar in 10 minutes, but he didn't care. Needless to say, the band played the gig sans guitar that night, and I was playing with a different band soon after that.

 

How did they play the gig without guitar? And, did they fire you from the band because of that incident?

 

Don't know how they did it. I didn't stick around. And yes, they fired me after that. Pretty funny since they were all stoners. No problem...I was hooked up with a better band within two weeks.

 

I'm suprised I haven't about any farting episodes..

I was playing in a band in Seattle for a number of years and did an entire show in a Tinky Winky Teletubby outfit..

 

I have this vision of Homer Simpson. "Mmmm. Specks of (fried) crap"

 

Instead of saying "Good morning, how can I help you?" when I answered the phone I said "Good morning, can you help me?" I'm not sure how that came about, but I must have just been having the worst day ever!

 

At my company's Employee Appreciation Day last year, the committee heads (all of whom were female) chose a luau theme for the event. As part of the entertainment, all the male committee members had to do a ****ing hula dance, grass skirt and all. I was a committe member and I looked like a freaking moron (the day-glo orange Hawaiian shirt they picked out didn't help either).

 

Back around 1990-91, the band I was in had a gig in a restaurant/bar near the New York- Pennsylvania border (way out in the sticks). Most of them looked like they were related (if you know what I mean)

Anyway, everything was going well until the 6th song (Santana's version of "Black Magic Woman"). We get to the guitar solo and my amp dies in a cloud of smoke

Lesson: never use cheap tubes, especially in a Marshall

The rest of the gig I played through one of our PA speakers *ugh*. They sure like their ZZ Top up in those parts

 

Another more work related one was when I would answer the phone "Thanks for calling Seattle's Children's Hospital"..

Of course, this was after I'd lived and worked in Portland, OR for 6 months!

 

It was a saturday night at the Fun-Plex roller rink (Roller City USA) last summer.

The entire place was packed. Saturday nights at the rink are usually popular because of the hip-hop/rap music that's played, which draws a very large African-American crowd. I had just been moved over from waitering in the "birthdays" section to Roller City USA a week before, and hadn't the slightest clue how to skate.

Nonetheless, I'm told by my boss to pick up some skates and get used to skating. So I do. I'm on my way to the concessions area when I trip on something, and fall backwards on my a$$. EVERYBODY starts looking at me and laughing, even my fellow employees! No one comes to help me out, and so I get up on my own...only to discover an enormous hole in my pants, which luckily enough for me, was very noticeable. What happened afterward, just try to imagine. You won't be far off. It was just a horrible night...

And that was just one of the many, many embarassing moments I had working there. The others I can't mention publicly.

Oh, and a word of advice: try your best not going to Fun-Plex for any reason whatsoever. It's not AT ALL like it used to be back during the Fame City days. It would absolutely DISGUST you to know the things that go on in there.