what is the greatest challenge you've ever faced in your life?

sorry you're having such a rough time... hang in there. Take care... +

 

Mine is easy. My divorce was incredibly cruel, and my ex was able to keep my son away from me for over two years. During that time, she brought in a new dad, who is still in his life.

It was extremely difficult, but it does pass. Time does, indeed, heal all wounds.

Wish I knew more about your plight, since, right now, I can only give general advice.

The point is we all face challenges. Talking to people, even professionals, can help. Whatever it takes to help get you over the hurdle.

And, my personal advice which I follow is: No matter how bad it seems now, you'll be able to look at it a year from now and laugh at how riled you up were about it in the first place.

That advice has worked for me in every challenge I've had, sans the divorce, and that was only because she was able to prolong it with our child.

You'll be fine. Trust me.

 

I've been extremely lucky in my life to really not have any challenges where, at the very least, the light at the end of the tunnel wasn't blinding me.

I hope you get through this thecabbage. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

 

thacabbage,

I really hope and pray everything turns out well with your health.

As for me, I think I'm facing my greatest challenge right now as I type. I'm without a job after two tries at working in the video/audio world. and now, I don't know where my next job is going to come from. been battling self esteem problems lately, nervousness. maybe some depression (i'm taking lexapro now) I've lost my appetite the last few days. I worry about failing. I get down because I don't think I'm smart enough. I have a fear of flying, and wonder if my next job will require a little of that.

I don't know what I want to do with my life as of now. my major was advertising, but my knowledge of it isn't that great. People say I should do graphic design because I'm creative., but where can I get the neccessary experience with the right software?

Just the whole "unsureness" of it all has me lost.

 

Sorry to hear about your challenges....

For me it was the separation from my kids when my wife and I split up. The divorce itself was okay, but not being able to be in my kids life on a daily basis sucked.

 

My greatest challenge is my parents.

 

JBIIRockets, hang in there. It's easy to get discouraged. I just had two weeks with not much to do recently and it about drove me nuts. It's depressing. Just try to put those worries out of your mind and remind yourself that there is absolutely no basis for them (since there's not ). Don't give up the fight.

I haven't dealt with any of the really horrible stuff... like life-threatening illnesses or divorces w/kids involved... so I hate to say anything. In my adult life, the greatest challenge, in a way, might be now. I'm at a crossroads in just about every sense. I'm facing an almost certain career change. Which I'm actually kind of happy about - at least at the prospect of leaving the old stuff behind - but I'm going to have to figure out how to support myself now. I'm trying to decide whether to change my personal life too. I would like to, in a way, but not sure if it's fair to everyone involved. My career is my business, but when it's a relationship, there's another person to consider. I may not be able to change it until I feel it's justified. I don't want to stay where I am forever, and I hope there's some light at the end of the tunnel. It's OK most of the time, but if my friends aren't around... or if I have too much spare time (it is summer)... I just feel depressed and alone, and like it must be my fault and like I'm just going to keep on doing whatever it is I'm doing wrong, since I don't even know what it is. I found something good to do for this week and the next, thank goodness, so it's OK for the moment. (except for certain personal issues which just involve pain and that's the way it's going to have to feel right now)

 

For me, the death of my real father and first stepfather as a child. I lost both to cancer by the time I was eight years old. Cancer is a beeeeyatch! It's something that was, and sometimes IS still hard to deal with, but I think it's made me a much stronger and more independent person now as an adult. And as a teacher, and hopefully one day as a parent, I hope to give my students and own children what I went long stretches of time without- a positive male role model in their lives.

 

Hang in there cabbage.

My depression was one hell of a challenge, but I think dealing with my adoption has been the most challenging and a huge source of the depression.

Even though I learned that I was the product of a grudgef**k, I apprehensively alienated my biological mother because of the feelings of the Mom that adopted me, my real Mom.

It's been said a million times that the things that don't kill us make us stronger, I truly believe this.

Again, hang in there Bud, and everyone else in this thread.

 

Sorry to hear that cabbage, hang in there buddy.

This is kind of a downer, but I guess that's the nature of this thread. The most difficult thing I've had to face is finding out my wife and I will probably never be able to have kids together. We both have medical issues which make it a real long shot, even with the technology today (we've already been through one failed IVF cycle). It sucks, but we've had a few years to soak this in and it actually doesn't bother me much lately. We're still both in our 20's though, I'm sure as time goes on it will become a bigger issue again. The positive thing though is there are many children out there that need good homes, so further down the line adoption will probably be a great option for us.

 

The hardest part of my life has probably been my parents' divorce. It was especially worse for me because my grandfather and great-grandmother passed on that same year while I was also going through problems with my girlfriend whom I lost my virginity to(and I had always wanted to spend my life with just one person). That was a hard time in my life. It seems like a long time ago, but it has only been within the last 2 years.

I hope the best for you cabbage. My other grandfather was diagnosed with prostate cancer around christmas time and he had successful surgery to remove his prostate and is doing very well. He now looks as good as he has looked in years. I hope that his story helps you feel better.

 

i've had a similiar experience, JB. i wasn't working for awhile and all i did was surf the internet all day, waiting for the phone to ring. then, one day i said to myself i need to get out. staying home was driving me nuts.

i decided to do alot of volunteer work, and that's when the opportunities came. the first couple of months i felt a feeling of accomplishment. although i wasn't getting paid at least i was "doing" something. and i felt good about it too. after the 3rd month of volunteering at individual events, i ran into a particular volunteer group.. they invited me to a meeting and i joined. within weeks i made good friends. it became a great networking place. then, out of the blue, one of them hands me a packet of all the jobs she thinks i qualify for. i start applying and a couple of weeks later i'd get a couple of interviews lined up. got hired, albeit part-time, but all thanks to that series of events and feeling alot better about myself.

so my message if anything, get social. join some clubs, any kind that involves interaction. it's intimidating at first. i was very afraid i'd be prejudged. but it was one of the best decisions i've made.

 

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this, cabbage. I never really agreed with most of your takes in the GARM (or at least it seemed that way to me) but I always respected your takes because you always had substance to your posts (which the majority of mine lack ).

I know it is going to sound trite but I really think that having a spiritual life helps - doesn't mean you have to be a Christian - just that you spend so much time a day in meditation. I am ashamed to say that I don't spend nearly the time I should with my relationship with God and Christ, but I always remind myself how good my life is when something trivial bothers me.

Other than a spiritual life, I would do the things that I truly enjoy like my hobbies (music and following sports), keep the close relationships that I have with my parents and friends going, and make sure that I don't ever get myself burned out at work. Even when I have days like today where I am pretty much busy the whole day - I still make time to run or work out and spend 5 to 10 minutes taking a break from the tasks that are in front of me. Although, having health problems could make doing a lot of this stuff hard.

One of the hardest things for me (and this is going to sound incredibly cheesy) was watch pretty much all of my friends and other people I went to high school with get married. I always thought I would be married when I was 25 and I am going to be 32 next month and I am still single. And it looks like it is going to be like that for awhile. But unlike 5 years ago or even 2 years ago, I am okay with that. If that is God's plan for me, then I have enough faith in Him that He will provide other things in my life to compensate for not being married. Jake (my dog) is one of those things; my close relationship with my parents is another and there are more.

But the hardest time in my life, no question, was November 1999 to February 2000. JB - I know how you feel man, because the way you are feeling is exactly the way I felt back in November of '99. I have been a Christian since I was 16 and I was praying every day and night to God for Him to find me a job. But as each day went by, I kept getting these disappointments. Oh, I had leads and false hopes, but they never panned out, of course. Finally, after thinking of suicide a couple of times, I went to bed and literally got on my hands and knees and cried as I was praying to God. I literally felt like I was at the end of my rope.

In the next day or two, I somehow remembered (or was it God jogging my memory) that I knew a man who was a powerful figure in an engineering company in my hometown (I went to church with him and used to play soccer and baseball with his son). I called him up and told him my story and how I needed a job - this was New Years' Eve of 1999. Two weeks later, I got a phone call and after a month, I started working where I work now and have been there 5+ years and counting. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank God for delivering me out of that situation.

JB - hate to say it, but a lot of times, it is who you know and not what you know that will get your foot in the door. I would think of all the people I know that have professional jobs. If you were friends with a guy and you know his father has a good job, talk to that guy. No one said you have to get a job that specializes in your major. I have a math major and my job is one of finance. The company will give you on-the-job training. If you can get through a 4 year program in college with a degree, you should be able to be trained to do a lot of office type functions or with your computer background, something in IT.

cabbage - hang in there, dude - I'll be thinking about you.

 

Down 2-0 to Fahonix, but we beat down those biotches! Everything has turns around eventually.

 

Cabbage,

My best wishes that you beat whatever is ailing you. If you would of asked me three years ago I would have said that beating cancer was my biggest challenge. But since that has been in remission for over 10 years now I would have to say watching my wife go through all her medical problems. She has been fighting Chrones for about 3 years now. Just this past January she had surgury removing the offending section of Colan and things seemed to be getting better, but just last week our family doctor diagnosed her with a thyroid condition, so now we get to start up with getting that fixed.

 

Manny - not that I didn't respect you before, but I have a lot more respect after reading that. Very good testimonial to your faith and how things can work out. (I don't always spend the time on my spiritual life that I should either... the one person that I feel like I really could have shared that struggle with is out of my reach now, which is kind of sad... oh well. I guess no one ever promised everything would work out.)

Don't worry about not being married; believe it or not, you're still young and have plenty of time to settle down when you find the right person. Trust me, there are people your age who got married at the "right" age and now wish they hadn't. Be glad all those choices are still ahead of you.

 

good luck cabbage, you'll pull through, man...i always did like your posts in the GARM. even when things seem to be at their worst, i hope you'll keep your head up; your attitude has a lot to do with the end results.

i guess i'm a little young to really say this is my greatest challenge, but...college has been hell for me. i graduated from high school with a sh*tload of accolades and went to UT expecting to do well...i didn't. first year, i just went out and partied and godknows what else. 2nd year i got arrested by APD and got charged with some BS charges by the UT parking and transportation department. that year has got to be the single worst year of my life. i was deathly scared to tell my parents what had happened, and i spiraled into this really big depression. i lost most of my scholarships as my GPA dipped below ... well, it was low. i was in financial trouble because i had to pay lawyer fees, tuition, and rent. i stopped going to all my classes and i would be awake for maybe 10 hours of the day, sleeping the other hours away. i was very seriously depressed, contemplating suicide in a number of ways, etc. the summer i tried to recupe and volunteered at a hospital, which changed my outlook, but as soon as i started school, wit the reminder of my low GPA and any dreams of med school basically shot, i got depressed again. i couldn't bring myself to face anyone: teachers, friends, parents...i just wanted them to all leave me alone. this past semester things were starting off fine (i got a spiritual revival over the winteR) when right before spring break i fracture my hip playin basketball. this is when i'm studyin for MCAT and all, so my schedule is hectic as it is. i try to study, but being on pain meds while studyin doesn't really work. needless to say, my grades were once again complete crap. i took the MCAT under the influence of meds, and i'm pretty sure i won't even sniff the score that i need to succeed.

now, if i had the same attitude as i had even a year ago...i'm pretty sure you'd be readin about me jumpin off dobie or something after goin on a shootin spree at UT. but i changed my attitude on things. you can wish and hope that things weren't the way they are...but that doesn't accomplish anything. in the end you're back to b****in and moaning...and you've lost precious time that you coulda done something productive in. i know things seem tough now, but there's always hope. there's always something that you can hold onto. i wish you the best, man, and i hope that hearing about all of these other obstacles your fellow BBSers have overcome will help you in your ordeal.

 

To be honest, the hardest part of my life is dealing with the fact that family is not and never will be finiancially well endowed. We're actually near the lower end of the spectrum, and it's only gotten worse and worse after my parents divorced. The fact that people (like my bosses at work) judge me based on where I live, or the crappy car I drive used to get to me really bad, but now, I think it's funny. It's lead me to see the finer things in the world. It's lead me to become the person that I am. It's lead me to laugh at superficiality and the many other stupid things that are imprinted into our "human nature." Another thing it's left me with (and some people might hate me for this...) is that I'll probably have to pay less money to go to college, and I will have the drive and the determination to set up the dream life for my kids when that time comes. I never EVER want them to grow up and have to miss out on gatherings with friends because they can't afford it, or anything like that. I know that was one of the hardest things growing up...

 

The summer before my Junior year in HS, my best friend died. The hard part is that as stupid as it sounds I fell kind of responsible. I know I used to always tell people that it's ridiculous to feel that way but once it happened I now know exactly how they felt.

She worked everyday at a restaurant so we didn't get to see eachother that much but we talked every night. One day out of the blue she shows up at my house and asked if she could burn a CD. So she came in and we just sat around for around an hour just talking. Was quite nice. She said she needed a book for a summer reading project and I said I'd try to get a copy from a friend and that I'd call her later that night to drop it off. Well I got caught up in some things that now don't seem as important as they did at the time. Needless to say, I forgot to call her. I woke up the next morning and remembered and I called her but got her voicemail. I didn't think anything of it at the time.

Later, I was in the band hall (I was a HS band nerd) for practice and a girl comes in crying. We ask her why and that's when she tells us all that my best friend had died at a party the night before. She was 16.

I still wonder to this day what would have happened had I called her that night. I know it most likely wouldn't have had an effect, but I'll never know for sure. We never learned how exactly she died because the police wouldn't disclose that information to anyone but the family (for obvious reasons) and I'm not ever going to ask her family. Too hard.

It's funny because she showed up at my house a day before she died. We hadn't seen eachother in a few weeks (which for us was a long time to go without hanging out). It was such a pleasant coincidence. My mom has always told me that it was like she was somehow coming to say goodbye. I know it sounds crazy but on some levels it's helped me.

I don't say this story to gain sympathy but to help you out, cabbage. It took me a while to get through this and I never thought I would. I would never compare my situation to yours because they just don't compare as you're the one who's life is in the balance. What I can offer you is the knowledge that the most important thing to do in this situation is to think about who the most important people are to you.

In dealing with my situation I found that spending time with those who I wished I were closer to but never really got the chance to spend any time with helped me greatly.

Some people turn to religion. Sadly, for me I actually lost touch with my religion in this part of my life. Makes me feel guilty but for some reason I was angry with God (I'm a catholic). I eventually realized that I needed my faith and that's what also helped me through.

The most important thing however, is to realize how strong of a person you are. If you've gotten this far you are obviously an incredibly strong willed person. While I have told you to spend time with those you never got to spend time with the most important person that can help you in this situation is yourself. I have the utmost respect for anyone who, like yourself, can stare a serious health condition in the face. This tells me that you have a huge supply of strength hidden deep inside you. Tap into that and I know you'll get through it.

Just remember that the true strength of a man is measured when they are at their most vulnerable. Judging by your handling of the situation, I have no doubt that you are an incredibly strong individual who will pull through this tough time. God Bless.