I am f'ing pissed off! Further proof that living under power lines f's people (like my ex). My 3 year old son has just joined soccer. He is playing for his preschools team, and my ex had to let me know this because this stupid b!tch of a mother has not even gotten his birth certificate, so she had to borrow my official copy. I had no problem with her borrowing it because it would benefit my son. At the time she borrowed the b/c, I had asked her for a schedule of games. I still haven't received one, but that's typical. I'll just have to go to his school and get one for myself. Anyway, as I'm talking to my son at about 7:30 tonight, he brings up practice and I ask him when his first game is. He tells me "tomorrow". I'm like "Huh", and I ask him to pass me to my ex. I question her on it, and she kindly asks if I can NOT go to his first game because she feels that he will be overwhelmed with both of us being there. WTF is that? I am speechless at what she asked me, and after she runs her diarhea mouth for a while, I tell her that I am going to go to my son's first game, and that he will be fine with both of us there. She doesn't agree, but I tell her that I am going to my son's first game as well as every one he has and I ask where and when his game is going to be. She gives me the info coldly, but doesn't tell me what section of the park he will be playing or what color jersey his team will be wearing. I call back about 20 minutes later and I think she thought that I was going to consent to her wishes because her tone has changed completely, but then I told her that I need to know where in the park his game was and what color jersey he was wearing and she went back to old cold b!tch. What kind of a cold hearted b!tch would not want her son's Dad to be at his first game. I am so f'ing glad I left this psychotic b!tch, but I still have to deal with her demented f'ed up way of thinking.
Talk about selfish on her part. When I was a kid, it just killed me that my father would never come to any of my stuff. It truly upset me that he wasn't there. I mean, I would've understood if he couldn't make it to everything, but he came to nothing. If you weren't told and didn't show up, all your kid is going to know is that you weren't there. He's not going to understand the why, and it's quite possible that it's going to hurt him that you weren't there for his game. So, by trying to keep you away, she's potentially causing an emotional issue for your child (and I'm 32 now, and I'm still a little hurt that my Dad never came to any of my stuff, especially now that he goes to so much of my brothers' things these days. But he's in a different place professionally than he was then... Plus, my stepmother is quite nasty and probably goes out of her way to make him show up, whereas my mother is far more passive). The point is, it's never comfortable to have to be around your ex, but you do it because it's best for the kid. I am so thankful that my ex, crazy as she might be, is at least a nice and understanding enough person to get this and make sure I have all the information necessary to be involved in our kids' lives (Plus, she keeps me up-to-date on what my father is up to since she's plugged in to the gossip mill at the hospitals and my father still doesn't tell me anything).
Yeah, you got to the game if you want to see your boy, I would think it would only make the relationship btw you and your son stronger in the long run. Your ex is NOT looking out for you son's best wishes, because if she was, she would at least have her son's father show support by being at the games. She says both parents being there will overwhelm your son, your son is only 3 for god's sakes, let me try to translate that........She is more concerned about how others will view her when the both of yall are present. of course that is just my opinion.
Her concern may be legitimate, I can't say. I'd assume that she knows better than I do. But if it is a concern, it's hers, not yours, and she's asking you to account for it. Solution: you take your kid to the game, she alleviates her concern by staying home, everybody's happy.
I would have exhaled. Seriously. If she has an issue, and it's not an objective fact, but her opinion, then she shouldn't ask you to be the one to sacrifice because of it. No way I would have allowed her to define my parameters with my son based on her issue which she was unwilling to try and address herself.
I would have exhaled. Seriously. If she has an issue, and it's not an objective fact, but her opinion, then she shouldn't ask you to be the one to sacrifice because of it. No way I would have allowed her to define my parameters with my son based on her issue which she was unwilling to try and address herself.
Not to worry. She got all bent out of shape and I kept my cool, and I know for a fact that this is eating her up inside.
NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I'm pissed. Hell, I'm flying down for his next game, and she can go piss up a tree if it bothers her...
As someone also with an ex-wife, I'm just glad we didn't have children together. I would say that not going will hurt your son more than going. I was glad that my father took time out of his busy schedule to come to all my stuff, even going to the Scholar's Bowl! To hell with your ex and her issues. Her reasoning has more holes than the bodies of Saddam's sons. Go and be a father to your son. Speaking of that.....I've got to head to my own son's soccer game.
Great post, man. And one that somehow didn't put down liberals!!! Woohoo!!! I agree that not going will hurt much more than going. Stay as far away from your ex as possible, just try to somehow show your son that you were there. I remember my Dad trying to make it to every single event of mine. If he couldn't for a business meeting or something, he'd confess to me the only thing he could think about during the meeting was how the game was going. It was absolute hell on him my senior year when he was living in Chicago and I was in Katy helping the team to their first ever district championship. He'd wait up for me to get home to call and give him an account of the game. That's stuck with me. From seeing him in the stands when I was six and sucking at Little League to him waiting anxiously for his 18 year-old son to call about the game, that was just one of the many reasons I knew how much he loved me. We have an amazing relationship to this day in part because of it. I can't wait to do that for my son or daughter!
UPDATE: PBE (Psycho b!tch ex) calls me to tell me that he got sick and will stay in all day. Regardless, I still go sown to the park and look for him. After I can't find him, I call him to make sure that he did stay in, which in fact, he did. I have to say the thought of a Clutch City fan section would be hilarious!!! No matter what her problems and issues are, I'm always going to be there for my son. We are very close. He calls me just to tell me how much he loves me. I can't understand how PBE would not want me there to support him.
Oh, my son always knows when I'm near. I make sure of that. I won't distract him during the game, but he'll know beforehand. As far as staying away from the ex, I have to disagree with you on that. I will do things around her as I would do if she was not around. Aside from the fact the she is the mother of my child, her capacity to me is that of something I would flush down the toilet after a bit of grunting, swearing, and sweating. She does not make me uncomfortable in the least, ans if she has a problem with me being there, then it's just that...her problem.
It just seems to me that she might start some kind of confrontation that would harm your son if he were to see it. I think by sitting on the opposite side of the field or something, you don't give her the opportunity to do that. Any sort of public confrontation in front of your son is no good at all, no matter who starts it.
Funny stuff.. not that I've seen the donkey show (ahem). I have a freakin PBE too and even though we were only together for 2 years with no kids, she's already ruined one possible relationship. The thing that sucks is that I was willing to be civil and she spat it back out into my face. I feel for you though, I'd do anything to be at my son's stuff if time permitted. Some things in life are worth fighting for, this is one of them.
