What do you do when your girl starts gaining weight?

Ask her to go jogging, or working out with you. Especially, if you are fat yourself.

 

Don't know what the right answer is, but make damn sure you don't hurt her feelings in the process. I dated a girl who started to gain weight, so I'd do some really stupid things to let her know. Well, I was really insensitive to her feelings, and it led to our breakup.

Don't want everyone to know what a jerk I am, but for about two months, I would comment on every hot girl we saw, and say, "Wow, she has a great body, she must work out."

No wonder I'm single. Good luck!

 

If you were gaining a bit of weight wouldnt you want her to tell you? Honesty is the best approach which is what marriage is based upon..........Good Luck, I know it`s a tough subject to talk about

 

Be very careful how you word it if you want to keep her as your fiance. Be subtle. Try some of these:

1. Buy her a pair of nice jeans, but buy her the size she was wearing as a smaller size. If she questions you on the small size, tell her you looked at the size on her last pair of jeans and wanted to surprise her.

2. Tell her you want to go for a walk with her in the park. Make it a LONG walk.

3. Figure out what physical activity SHE likes doing and do it with her.

4. Stop buying snack foods for the house.

5. Make smaller portions of the rich foods you like.

6. Buy some bicycles and go cycling.

7. Start working out and harp about how good you are feeling and how well your clothes are fitting.


Or you could be straight with her and tell her that you're concerned about her weight gain...but I guarantee you this. She may say that she appreciates your honesty, but she'll never forget that you told her that.

Good Luck. My ex's mom (will affectionately refer to her as the ex out-law or ex monster-in-law) had to take out my ex's wedding dress the night before we were married. Rumor has it that she was popping hot dogs by the handful weeks before the big day. My back was killing me after I carried her over the threshold.

 

Be honest and tell her that while her weight is not a deal breaker, you would like her to be in shape. I don't think it should be taboo to acknowledge relationships DO have a physical aspect in the attraction. It may seem hurtful but if she continues get larger you might come to resent it, which isn't helpful either.

Or go low carb. You say you like to prepare big meals. With low carb you have a tremendous latitude to cook rich meals. You can ask her to switch with you. Low carb is also easy on people who nibble a lot, since you replace whatever junk she's eating now with nuts, berries, olives, cheese, cold cuts (not oscar myer bologna but smoked meats like prosciutto etc), cucumbers, celery, peppers, radishes, etc.

 

Look at her mom. This is what you'll be married to in about twenty years. Then go look at your dad and you'll realize what you are going to look like in twenty years. See if there's a match there

 

My wife may have gained some weight, but that means she went from a size 0 to a size 2, so I'm not complaining. Trust me, I've put on more weight in five years of marriage than she has. However, I was worrying that she didn't exercise much. We tried running but she got bored, and she's not really into swimming unless it involves SCUBA gear. It took awhile for me to find something to get her out of the house.

I have started teaching her to play raquetball. I play often, and I'm pretty good, and I love the competition of playing people better than me. However, I dont mind sacrificing the competitiveness for a couple hours a week to get her moving around. Besides, she's getting better, so every game is more fun. Plus theres something really sexy about getting sweaty together BEFORE you get sweaty together.

So maybe you should try to teach her hoops or tennis or something competitive...

 

Then you should play me sometime.

 

O.K. First of all, I assume that you (and all you other guys who are concerned with girlfriends who gain weight) are thin, muscular, and in totally great shape. I do assume that you have room to be talking like this.

A little bit of our perspective: life, and metabolism, aren't fair to us. Often, you guys work hard, get tired, eat a big meal to refuel, and are fine. We do the same, and gain weight. Also, we are bombarded with society's images of models who have a body type that isn't natural to most of us, and are constantly hearing other girls talk about dieting and how guilty they feel when they eat. (ever notice how women's magazines have four things on the cover: a skinny model, and headlines saying, "How to make him want you", "Great diet tips", and "Delicious recipes") Sometimes we wonder how men would feel if they had this pressure on them. Occasionally this leads to a backlash.

If you don't like your fiancee's weight, do not bring it up. It will make her upset. I'm sure she's aware of it already. The best thing you can do is suggest exercise and active stuff to do together. (not in the context of weight loss, just in the context of having fun and health in general) You are also tempting her with the food. Try to find some low-fat recipes (well, some say low-carb... whatever, but you have to commit to eating low-carb all the time, and it doesn't work for everyone). Gradually shrink the portion sizes. This will have to go for you, too; otherwise she'll notice the difference. (if you don't need to be losing weight too, then... I don't know, eat more when she's not in the room ) Think of activities that will keep both of you busy, out of the house, and away from the food for a while.

I consider myself lucky to have a husband who isn't bothered when I gain weight, even though it bothers me (because he's always been skinnier than me). He'll only work out on alternate days, so I have to go to the gym by myself a lot (which doesn't always happen). He eats a lot of fast food, and I'm guilty of going with him. I would love it if he would eat at healthier places, and would pick some hobby for us both to have that happens to burn lots of calories. But at least if I gain the weight he's OK with it.

 

I know what you're going through. I have been there. My wife was never the smallest of women...but she gained 20 to 30 pounds AFTER the wedding. Here's the kicker...it doesn't bother me. Physical appearance is a fleeting thing at best. Regardless of how much we try to avoid it, we will all end up wrinkled and tubby at some point. The only thing that concerns me is the health issue. If your fiance is slightly overweight...let it go. If she is obese, then you have something to worry about. Tell her that you are worried about her health. But you damned sure better have examples. For instance...try "When we decide to have kids I'd hate for you to have gestational diabetes." Also note if she has a history of heart disease in the family. These are things that aren't contrived, but are real health concerns.

Good luck...but whatever happens you need to treasure her for the person that she is and the love the two of you have shared.

 

Haven, what's your e-mail address?

 

I would just be honest about it. Hopefully if you're engaged and close to marriage you can atleast speak your mind and be open about things. Just tell her you're concerned that she's getting big and that the two of you would have a better relationship if she would attempt to maintain a certain level of physical fitness. She'll get the point. Don't let her mental and physical laziness ruin your relationship.

 

No offense T_J...but if he goes about it that way there's a good chance there won't be a relationship to ruin anymore. Calling a woman "big" is NEVER a good idea. Also tying how good the relationship is to how much she exercises is only going to make her feel cheap. Neither of these are good ideas for a guy who's looking to stay in the relationship.

 

So you are recommended lying about how you really feel about the situation? Communication lines must be completely open.

 

If there's a place to play, then I recommend badminton. The learning curve is a bit easier than tennis, and because of the nature of the game (ie: placement is much more important than power), women can perform at a higher level in badminton than they can in tennis. Plus, there's more running in badminton than tennis, so she'll get a better workout.

Learn it together. It's a great game and you'll likely enjoy playing too.

 

I'm not suggesting that anybody lie about anything. I would suggest two things:

1) That there are better ways to express the thought. One that won't get anybody's feelings hurt, and

2) If an individual really allows a few pounds to dictate the quality of their relationship...they don't need to be in a relationship.

 

haven, all you can do is set an example. Refrain from criticism. Just set an example and invite her along. She already knows and she'll appreciate the gesture.