[Walterfootball.com] 2013: Emmitt on the Brink

moestavern19 · Feb 10, 2009

For those of us NFL fanatics, Walterfootball.com does a hilarious fictionalized look at the 2013 NFL season in which Emmitt Smith takes over as head coach of the New England Patriots. In case you don't get it... Emmitt Smith has kind of reputation for saying a lot of stupid things

2013: Emmitt on the Brink.

The premise: Coming off a Super Bowl victory, the Patriots open the 2013 season with a blowout win. Unfortunately, they get into trouble for Spygate II. As punishment, Roger Goodell orders the Patriots to fire Bill Belichick and replace him with Emmitt Smith.

This is a weekly feature that will take a newspaper reporter's perspective and follow the 2013 New England Patriots as they traverse the 2013 NFL season under Emmitt's guidance. This page will be updated every Thursday during the real 2008 NFL season.

LINK

Some hilarious snippets from 2013 NFL...

A rusty Favre carelessly launched a punt-like downfield throw to Jerricho Cotchery. Unfortunately, it was picked off by Tyrone Poole and returned for a touchdown. After that play, Favre announced his retirement and walked off toward the locker room. Two series later, Favre returned to the field, where he announced that he was un-retiring. Favre subsequently launched another pick-six and walked off the field again. This happened four more times.
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More importantly, how can anyone contain a team comprised of 53 Tebows? No one has had success thus far, as Kansas City has won all four of its games by a margin of 35 or more. Emmitt expressed his frustration during Tuesday's press conference. "You cannot stop the Tim Tivos," Emmitt vented. "It is unpossible to play run defense and pass defense at the same times."
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Texans fans will get a kick out of this one...

Unfortunately for Miami, its Martz-David Carr combination hasn't fared too well. Thanks to Martz's flawed blocking scheme and Carr's deer-in-the-headlights demeanor, the Dolphins have allowed 85 sacks in six games.

Despite Carr's 4.6 quarterback rating, Martz has defended his quarterback all year. "Jeeeez Chrithhh!" Martz exclaimed. "Carr is like the most super awesome quarterback ever, guys! Little do you know that I've devised this awful combination so I can get Carr's organs to pop out of his body so I can sell them on the black market! Muhahaha! I mean, uhhh... who said that? I didn't hear anything. Jeeez Chrithhh!"

Though the Dolphins stand at just 1-5, Emmitt warned his team that Miami could provide a challenge Monday night. "You cannot underestimitize the Miami Dolphin," Emmitt stated. "They have a break but does... does... do... are not bend defense." And what about Carr? "David Carr is a good NFL quarterback," Emmitt continued. "He throws short passes to his runnin' backs. He throw medium passes to his tight end. And he throw long passes to... uhh... the other guys who catch the football."
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DonnyMost · Feb 10, 2009

Wow this beats fantasy football by a mile lol

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