VH1's most awsomely bad songs ever

This seems to be a revised list of another recent list. This one is a little better. They removed the Beatles and Simon & Garfunkel, rightfully. Included are comments. Some stolen from VH1.

This list is contextual. First, it had to be a “hit.” But it takes into account the lyrics, the video, the artist themselves and other things. Michael Jackson’s, You Rock My World, isn’t fooling anybody. On the list you go. If you get a chance, watch the VH1 show…it is really funny.

50. Corey Hart - I Wear My Sunglasses at Night
(Summary: Only losers where sunglasses at night)

49. Puff Daddy - I'll be missing you
(Took existing good song 100% and rapped over it. Weak)

48. Michael Bolton - Can I Touch You...There?
(Women...all together now...No. Definitely not w/ that hair)

47. Bobby Brown w/ Whitney Houston - Something In Common
(A bad voyeuristic trip that was probably therapy for them...and required listeners to get own therapy afterwards)

46. Spin Doctors - Two Princes
(Legit band gone pop w/ lyrical repetitive nonsense)

45. Ruben Studdard - Sorry 2004
(Can a huge fat ass man say "sorry" 2004 times in one song. Aparently so. C'mon, be a man and quit your whinning.)

44. Billy Joel - We didn't Start The Fire
(History and pop music - always a bad combo)

43. Master P - Make Em Say Ugh
(That's what I say when I take a dump)

42. Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe
(Because a Swedish band doing disco country music is irresponsible. What more can you say?)

41. JC Chasez - Some Girls (Dance With Women)
(Probably because they don't want to dance with him)

40. 4 Non Blonds - What's Up
(No dumb questions? Only if you repeat 800 times while yodeling)

39. Snow - Informer
(A Pasty white Canadian doing Jamaican Dancehall. A Licky Boom Boom what?)

38. Ja Rule f/ Ashanti - Mesmerize
(Street gangsta trying (poorly) to sing. No street cred ever again)

37. Bette Midler - From A Distance
(Was God watching you when you were singing in a Bathe House?)

36. Color Me Badd - I Wanna Sex You Up
(A lame slow jam by 4 guys that look like wedding singers. The song would be better if they didn't sing it. Two words: plucked eyebrows. No sex for you.)

35. Don Johnson - Heartbeat
(When he struggled to hit those high notes, everybody shared in his pain. Tip: Go back to pastel suits...that was better)

34. Crazy Town - Butterfly
(Butterflies are cool - unless you try to act tough by rapping about them)

33. Jennifer Lopez - Jenny From The Block
(Don't be fooled by the rocks that she's got. Be fooled by the Mercedes, the boats, the private jet...but not the rocks. Please. Yea, that line of designer fragrances and her upscale bistro just shouts out "street cred.")

32. Mr. Mister - Broken Wings
(Creepy stalker lyrics over cheesy 80s synthesizers. Over used metaphors: broken wings, flesh & blood, book of love. I guess you can expect redundancy from a band called Mr. Mister)

31. R. Kelly - You Remind Me Of Something
(A sure fire way to get into any lady's heart is compare her to your Jeep.)

30. Nelly - Pimp Juice
(I ain't drinkin your "pimp juice" whatever the hell that is. That is just disgusting)

29. Meatloaf - I'd Do Anything For Love (But I won't Do That)
(What?!? What the F__K won't you do. Damn it. What is it? Oh well, at least the 7,000 instruments clogs my brain to the point that I don't care whatever it is that he won't do)

28. Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
(I bet you won't cause you can't get too many dates. Pasty white Englishmen who can't dance doing love song. Pass. I'm convinced he stole that voice from a black man.)

27. Wreckn-N-Effect - Rump Shaker
(A half-assed lyrical gem. Go back, write something that makes sense...or anything beyond 2 sentences...and resubmit.)

26. Bryan Adam - The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You
(He trades in his t-shirt image for a fashion heart throb. Unfortunately, this represents the worst pick-up line in history)

25. Michael Jackson - You Rock My World
(C'mon, nobody with a vagina or older than 12 can rock his world.)

24. Phil Collins - Sussudio
(Proof that you can be platinum selling artist and still drop a monumental artistic turd. It might have helped if anybody knew what the hell he was saying.)

23. Siqo - Thong Song
(It would only be bad if we didn't hear it 800 billion times. Now it is really bad. Only saving grace...the video. No what I mean guys?)

22. Lionel Ritchie - Dancing On The Ceiling
(Lets see...what rhymes with "feeling?" Kneeling...no good. Leeling..that's not a word. Ah, yes. "ceiling." Bingo. Write it down.)

21. The Rembrandts - I'll Be There For You
(Why would anybody buy this when you can hear it TV 5 times daily?)

20. Toby Keith - Courtesy Of The Red, White And Blue
(We developed a bill of rights and a constitution and other respectful democratic principles. But that’s not important to Toby. What is important is that we put a boot in your ass. Nice)

19. Chicago - You're The Inspiration
(Musak has never been the same)

18. Hammer - Pumps And a Bump
(Once you wear a genie outfit, nobody is buying that gangsta facade.)

17. Right Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy
(Apprently he's too sexy to ever make another hit song)

16. Europe - The Final Countdown
(It is amazing this was never in a Rocky movie. Bad synthesizers, Swedish hair band and space travel lyrics combine for an uncool panacea)

15. Crash Test Dummies - MMM MMM MMM MMM
(When you see the title written, this speaks for itself, really. I guess they fired the writer.)

14. Will Smith - Will 2k
(When was the "willenium?" Oh yea, it was not 1,000 years, it was a 2 week span a couple years ago.)

13. Aqua - Barbie Girl
(6 year olds think Barbie's are cool. This superficial cutsie techno turd is NOT cool)

12. New Kids On The Bock - Hangin' Tough
(Are you really? Please, my grandmother isn't afraid of them.)

11. Gerado - Rico Suave
(This greasy fake rap song just made me want to wash my hands. It's hard to be cool if you look like a pirate.)

10. Huey Lewis & The News - The heart of Rock & Roll
(Oh, he said my city. Cool? No. Huey has no rock or roll)

9. Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry, Be Happy
(Be happy because you haven't paid your rent in 6 months? No. No. Be worried. I'm worried this song may never escape my head)

8. Ricky Martin - She Bangs
(What does that mean? She stings like a bee? Yea, she'll punch the crap out of you if you refer that way to her again. William Hung...well, have you ever micro waved ball park french fries?)

7. Eddie Murphy - Party All The Time
(Some songs are so bad that they turn a corner and head back towards good. This, my friend, does not.)

6. Deep Blue Something - Breakfast At Tiffany's
("As I recall, we both kinda liked it." Yawn. Why don't you try to say something and get back to us.)

5. Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby
(Nothing is more frustrating than thinking your about to hear a great Queen song and this flaming poo bolts through your speakers. The only 9mm shells he's gonna hear on the concrete are the ones just before a bullet rips through his head...hopefully.)

4. Limp Bizkit - Rollin'
(It's the hoky poky for metal fans...or at least they used to be fans. Only saving grace is they bleeped half the lyrics.)

3. Wang Chung - Everybody Have Fun Tonight
(What does that mean? Most people believe it means turn off the radio.)

2. Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart
(Nobody has ever heard from him again. Enough Said)

1. Starship - We Built This City
(No, you're tearing down the city w/ lame synthesizers. This song couldn't be any less rockin'. At a time when music was processed to within an inch of its life, this was brought to you by people who should know better.)

Here are additional viewer polls that VH1 tossed in at no extra charge.

Bad Boy Band Songs:
3. Backstreet Boys - Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)
2. LFO - Summer Girls
1. O-Town - Liquid Dreams

Bad Booty Anthems
3. Wreckn-N-Effect - Rump Shaker
2. Sisqo - Thong Song
1. Tom Green - The Bum Bum Song

Bad Break-Up Songs
3. Debbie Gibson - Foolish Beat
2. Jennifer Lopez - All I have
1. Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart

Bad Songs w/ a Bad Dance
3. The Bangles - Walk Like An Egyptian
2. Las Kethcup - The Kethcup Song (Hey Hey)
1. Los Del Rio - Macarena

Bad Wedding Staples
3. Lou Bega - Mambo No. 5
2. Las Kethcup - The Kethcup Song (Hey Hey)
1. Los Del Rio - Macarena

Bad hair metal ballads
3. Motley Crue - Home Sweet Home
2. Poison - Every Rose Has Its Thorn
1. Stryper - Honestly

Bad Latin Explosion Songs
3. Marc Anthony - I Need To Know
2. JLo - Feelin' So Good
1. Ricky Martin - She Bangs

 

I'll second that.

Take out #21 Rembrandts and insert MMMBop and I wouldn't complain a bit. That Rembrandts song is just a harmless boring song. Bad...but not worthy of this list. I guess they are saying that Friends killed the song.

 

I just listened to it. It's really bad. They repeat "Final Countdown" 362 times. It is the pinacle of bad 80's music. To that end, it is a worthy song...I suppose.

Not a good song but perhaps I could be persuaded that trash like MMMBop or damn Locomotion song by Kylie Minogue.

This is ONLY on the list because Michael Jackson is singing it. Remeber this list is contextual. Anybody else and this song just fades forgetable. But seriuosly. Who is gonna rock Michael's world?

This is a bad song because it is so poorly written. He didn't say one definitive thing through the whole thing. Combine that with a boring tune and you've got one hellava bad song. But again, I could be easily persuaded by the likes of "We Like The Cars That Go Boom."