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Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal pics of all time

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Hippieloser, Oct 9, 2004.

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  1. Hippieloser

    Hippieloser Member

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    Top Ten stupidest black metal pictures ever taken!!

    If you know what black metal is, go 'head and click on the link! If you don't, let me just tell you that it's the most hilarious form of heavy metal ever devised!

    Don't get me wrong-- these guys are completely serious! Most balck metal bands are from Norway and Sweden and take satanism VERY seriously. Many black metal fans and bands have burned down a few historic churches in Norway. They really despise Christianity and strive as hard as possible to be 100% EVIL.

    If that sounds like a joke, well, it's true... but they ARE a joke! Look at the pictures!! How can anyone take these guys seriously? To top it off, their music often includes hilariously over-the-top operatic vocals and synthesized organ... like the soundtrack to the cheesiest horror movie ever! And as you can see by the photos, they wear HILARIOUS costumes and "corpsepaint!"

    But like I said, these guys take it VERY seriously. Probably the most notorious black metal band, Mayhem, formed I believe in the mid 80s. Their original lead singer, named Death, committed suicide with a shotgun. Their guitarist found him and took lots of pictures of his corpse and blown-off head with his brain sitting there in his lap. Then he took part of the guy's brain and stewed it up and ate it!! And the pictures he took became the cover for Mayhem's next album! I'm not making this up!

    Then later, one of the members ended up murdering the guitarist. His name is Varg Vikernes, and you may have read about how he "escaped" from prison briefly earlier this year.

    In more recent times, black metal has moved away from over-the-top satanism and is now more interested in over-the-top nationalism... they actually worship the Norse gods like Odin and Thor! Seriously!! But of course... they still try to "destroy" Christianity at any cost and attempt to be as "evil" as possible. This is why state churches are a bad idea, socialists!!
     
    #1 Hippieloser, Oct 9, 2004
  2. m_cable

    m_cable Member

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    Oh man. Those suspenders are hilarious. And what about that top hat. Is there anything scarier than combining Satanism with the guy from "Putting on the Ritz."
     
    #2 m_cable, Oct 10, 2004
  3. Hippieloser

    Hippieloser Member

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    I think the tophat picture should have at least been #3.

    Did I mention they give themselves names like "Lord Ahriman?"
     
    #3 Hippieloser, Oct 10, 2004
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2004
  4. droxford

    droxford Member

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    I have to agree that the guy with his fly open has the dumbest picture.

    "I am a minion of Satan and I have come to destroy... oops.... hand on a sec.....<zzziiiiipp>"

    -- droxford
     
    #4 droxford, Oct 10, 2004
  5. weakfromtoday

    weakfromtoday Member
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    That's great. The person's comments under each photo are really funny too. :D
     
    #5 weakfromtoday, Oct 10, 2004
  6. Dr of Dunk

    Dr of Dunk Clutch Crew

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    Just when I thought I wouldn't see any genre with attire any stupider than Nu Wave or hair/glam bands of the 80's comes this...

    Looks like the Munsters meet Kiss... oy.
     
    #6 Dr of Dunk, Oct 10, 2004
  7. RocketsPimp

    RocketsPimp Member

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    These guys obviously played to much D&D as kids.
     
    #7 RocketsPimp, Oct 10, 2004
  8. Hippieloser

    Hippieloser Member

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    I'm guessing they play too much D&D now.
     
    #8 Hippieloser, Oct 10, 2004
  9. Kam

    Kam Member

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    the guy with the top hat is funny
     
    #9 Kam, Oct 10, 2004
  10. Rashmon

    Rashmon Member

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    Are there any documented deaths from a Black Metal musician falling down on stage and impaling themselves?

    Is stage diving banned at these concerts?
     
    #10 Rashmon, Oct 10, 2004
  11. Doctor Robert

    Doctor Robert Member

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    These guys must have been wailed on bad in High School.
     
    #11 Doctor Robert, Oct 10, 2004
  12. KaiSeR SoZe

    KaiSeR SoZe Member

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    they look like a bunch of KISS fans
     
    #12 KaiSeR SoZe, Oct 10, 2004
  13. Hippieloser

    Hippieloser Member

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    I'm not sure who that insults more.
     
    #13 Hippieloser, Oct 10, 2004
  14. Jeff

    Jeff Clutch Crew

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    The irony of this is that on their most "evil" day, they are never as scary as Johnny Cash was at his most pleasant. :)
     
    #14 Jeff, Oct 11, 2004
  15. boomboom

    boomboom I GOT '99 PROBLEMS

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    I love the pic with the mouseover effect that puts the wrestling belt on the guy...#3. Hilarious!!!!

    I have this weird feeling that Elton John could beat the #*@! out of all these guys. What a bunch of pansies!
     
    #15 boomboom, Oct 11, 2004
  16. ima_drummer2k

    ima_drummer2k Member

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    So is "Black Metal" that music that just has the lead singer growling the whole time?
     
    #16 ima_drummer2k, Oct 11, 2004
  17. Hippieloser

    Hippieloser Member

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    They'll growl occasionally, but you're probably thinking of death metal, like Cannibal Corpse. Black metal singers either use over-the-top faux-opera vocals (think King Diamond) or screeching (think 90-year-old gramndmother).

    Black metallers deride death metal as "a bunch of idiots in sweatpants. Not EVIL!!"
     
    #17 Hippieloser, Oct 11, 2004
  18. cson

    cson Member

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    They look like WWF for satanists.
     
    #18 cson, Oct 11, 2004
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