Was out of the office for a week, home working on a new play. Returned today to surreal phone message: "Melanie Davis w/Tom DeLay's office... Something about national award..." Being the Tom DeLay fan that I am, naturally I called the number. "Mr. Jones... We're so excited to hear from you... The Congressman's recorded a message especially for you. I'd like to play it for you and then I'll return to the line to answer any questions you may have..." The recorded message was about how with this new Congress we could pass all sorts of exciting legislation for small business owners and how he needed folks like me giving folks like him advice. The guy came back on the line and asked if I'd serve as an honorary chair of DeLay's new Business Advisory Council. Said it wouldn't cost me a dime and that I'd be invited to all sorts of high level meetings with top ranking Republicans, topped off with an invitation to "the President's dinner." Also wanted to send me some business leadership award to hang at my business. I told him to send me the materials and I'd look them over. He gave me a web address. Online I found that they basically wanted to add my name to the list of small business owners supporting Republican tax legislation, and that in exchange I would indeed be invited to various meetings with top ranking Repubs. I called back. Said, isn't this like, officially, a Republican organization? They said yes. I said okay, first: my business is a non-profit arts org. Under tax law, my business can't participate in political organizations, especially partisan ones. Second: I'm a liberal, left of Democrat, and opposed to all these initiatives you'd like to say I support, and if you really want my advice, I'd advise Tom DeLay to reverse his downright bizarre opposition to our rail line. They thanked me for my time, said it was a shame about the tax law but that they understood and that they'd take me off the list. That was fun.
Actually, you should have gone and disrupted the event or whatever it was. Shouted some of your crazy liberal dogma.
I really was thinking about it until I saw that they wanted to use my name in support of the Repub agenda. And until I saw that it was an official Repub think tank. But yes, it was hilarious.
Okay, I see where you couldn't do it for the sake of your org, but aside from that, as the council chair, wouldn't you have had greater than average influence? Repub. council member #1: "I'd like us to draft a statement of support for Tom's new initiative..." Chair: "Overruled. Sit down. As it says on the agenda I've distributed, we will discuss the Rockets, and then we will discuss rhyming things with DeLay for my new limerick, which will be published next week as a council statement."
B-Bob: Sure, if I was going to be THE chair. I was just gonna be an honorary chair. They wouldn't tell me exactly how many of those there would be, but they suggested there would be hundreds. Don't think I'd get my limericks through that crowd.
Batman-- It sounds like you handled it really well. For a second there I thought you were going to join me on the Republican side of the force. We would have made a great team. Thanks for handling it with the grace you did.
(obvious, sorry. If not a movie, you have to wonder if Refman and Batman would at least be worth a comic... not to keep mixing stupid cultural references, but what would Refman's powers be? would he actually be "reference" man? or "referee" man?) edit: okay, how can we not have a limerick now? There once was a farmer DeLay Who loved to set fire to the hay. "Look out!" he did shout. So the sheep ran about, Abandoning sense for dismay.
How closed minded of you. Tax laws notwithstanding, if you were to put aside your bitter partisan attitude, perhaps attending this event would have opened your eyes to how the Republican's proposed legislation could help you personally. This is a classic example of letting partisanship close doors to your economic education, Batman. You were initially interested in the event, but then when you found out it was officially a Republican organization, you blindly allowed your political ideology to prevent you from attending. I believe you should evaluate potential uses of your time based on their merits, not their partisan label. Don't let preconceived political thoughts stand in the way of your learning. Why can't everyone be as open minded as myself? sigh
T_J: I'm guessing you're joking with your whole post and not just the last bit. But just in case... I'm pretty well acquainted with the Republicans' arguments, re: taxes, etc. This wasn't meant to be an educational opportunity. It was meant as a way of "honoring" small business owners in exchange for a rubber stamp. I'd be more than tickled to attend the functions (I had a blast at a few Repub Natl Convention functions in 92. Bill Bennet's a funny drunk.), but they're not getting my rubber stamp in exchange for a plaque and dinner with the president. But I'm guessing you were joking with your whole post and not just the last bit. Good one. But DeLay was funnier.
T_J: You are forgetting also that Batman's business is a non-profit. He'd be a moron to jeopardize that by attending a partisan function in the name of the business.
Eight years ago, while I was living with my dad (*sigh*), I answered the phone. It was during the "Gingrich Revolution". The election was approaching. Obviously my dad was on the Republicans' phone lists somewhere; the caller thought I was my dad. He sounded about, oh, in his early twenties. Started reading from his script about how if we all vote Republican we could change legislation and kick those liberals (say it like a dirty word) out of office. "Woh woh woh, hoss, you've got the wrong guy. You want my dad. And, politically, this apple fell far from that tree, you know?" This guy apologized and then asked me why I vote Democrat. His tone was as if he was asking me why did I get a T.A. to write me a letter of recommendation for graduate school rather than a professor. "Why do you (possibly) vote Democrat?" That sort of thing. I've had the same sort of reaction before: people see (or hear) their version of a Republican (white middle class white male---probably heterosexual? yes) and wonder what led me astray. I forget my answer but I guess I should have said, "Because I like to tax the rich as well as wreck the military so that we can give all the money to minorities and single pregnant women so that it makes me feel less guilty as one of the privileged few. And I think the United Nations is brilliant, don't you?" What did he expect me to say? "Oh, and what are you doing for dinner, fella? You sound cute. Do you have someplace where we can....go?"
B-Bob...Oh man. You are too funy. And then TJ had to pop up to make me stop laughing. And then I chuckled when I thought about it. I guess I just suck at getting satire.
