Revenge story that I think you will like based on your thread from last week... I went and saw Pearl Harbor this weekend at the Gateway Cinema in northwest Austin. It's a new theatre, but it was evidently built before people invented the idea of "having enough parking". It took my girlfriend and me several minutes to find a parking spot. During that time, we happened to drive by a Ford Excursion whose owner had decided to double-park-- so as to save his squirrel-squashin', deer-smackin' driving machine from door dings. Or maybe just to be an *******. Hard to tell the difference with some SUV drivers. Well, I was in a good mood that day and decided that I would try to help this obviously sick, deranged person. So I scrawled out a note on the back of a receipt, and I placed it under the offending *******'s driver-side windshield wiper. The note read: It is very rude to double-park your vehicle when parking is this crowded. I hope you are enjoying the rising cost of gasoline. It's OK. God loves even those who can't park for sh*t. Now, I know what you're saying: "Who cares?" Well, no one. But another theatre patron was walking up behind me saw me do it and applauded the action, thus validating my silly little revenge action. It was probably not as viscerally satisfying as breaking off his driver-side mirror, or scratching "*******" into his paint. But it was my best effort, and every little bit helps. Anyone else got any good revenge stories?
I got a good revenge story. Back in the early 1990s, I used to work at a Graphic Arts service bureau that was run by a very sick and deranged woman. This woman used to live at the studio and her trailer-trash boyfriend lived in the garage. She would begin each day by popping a couple of Prozac, and by lunchtime she was washing still more Prozac down with Budweiser. She chain smoked, and her mood swings were unbelievable. She had a rule at her company that she would not pay anyone time and a half for overtime (since she paid everyone by the hour, this is against the law). Rather, she would supplement everyone's income by providing them with a "car allowance"(whether they drove for the company or not). Well, she demanded 12 hour days from everyone, and since she was open Saturday, every other week was a six day workweek. She promised the car allowance, but never delivered on it. Needless to say, working there became very discouraging very quickly. I lasted a total of 3 months, but I had enough snap to make a photocopy of every timecard I turned in. She fired me after 3 months, but the timecards I had copies of showed that during that time, I worked quite a few hours of overtime, worth around $600-700 (I was a poor musician and she was paying a small hourly rate). So what did I do? I filed suit against her with the LA County Labor Board to force her to pay me the overtime she owed me. My hearing occurred about a month later, and I won instantly. LA county ordered her to pay me and everyone who ever worked there all overtime they were owed. My check arrived from her about three weeks later. On the back of it, where the endorsement space is, she wrote... "Next time try working for a living!" After I cashed the check, I went to a U-Haul place and purchased a 12 inch cardboard box. I filled it with newspaper, ate a bunch of Mexican food, and then took a giant sh*t inside the box. On top of the dung, I placed a sign that said "Next time, obey the law, sh*thead!" I then wrapped the box with "Happy Birthday" wrapping paper, and placed a big pink bow on it. I then hired one of those "birthday clown" outfits (the ones that usually deliver baloons to people on their birthdays), to deliver it to her. I never heard from her again, but a former co worker at the graphics studio said she freaked pretty hard when she opened it. ------------------ "Blues is a Healer" --John Lee Hooker
That's hilarious Kagy!!!!! I have a similar story, even though it's not soley a revenge story. I parked next to a guy who took up more than his spot. I was obviously pissed, even more so when I saw his bumper sticker, a confederate flag with the phrase "Worth Fighting For". So, I put the note on his car that said, "You did fight, and you lost!" I should've added the part about how it appeared that people who have the confederate flag on the back of their cars can't park, but I forgot! BTW, this is not meant to spark a debate. I'm looking in your general direction Lynus!!! ------------------ www.swirve.com "Pre-born, you're fine, pre-school, you're f*****."-George Carlin
OHMYGOD TEX!!!!!! That's so wrong on so many levels, but awesome all the same. ------------------ www.swirve.com "Pre-born, you're fine, pre-school, you're f*****."-George Carlin
She deserved it, believe me. I probably wouldn't do it again...I've matured since then, but just slightly! ------------------ "Blues is a Healer" --John Lee Hooker
You're in your 40s, this happened 10 years ago and you've matured. ------------------ You're a fine woman, why don't you mock that draft up
In honor of this thread, I double-parked my SUV in my work parking garage today. ------------------ http://www.swirve.com ... more fun than a barrel full of monkeys and midgets.
I'm not going to listen to you b**** about how your less than a week old SUV has a big key mark in the side. In fact, I'm going to laugh. ------------------ www.swirve.com "Pre-born, you're fine, pre-school, you're f*****."-George Carlin
I'm not going to listen to you b**** about how your less than a week old SUV has a big key mark in the side. This is what I need those lasers and shock door handles and stuff for. Seriously, I parked in my spot, but because of the positioning of other cars, the spot next to mine will not be usable. ------------------ http://www.swirve.com ... more fun than a barrel full of monkeys and midgets.
Tex: That is one of the sickest, coolest, funniest things I've ever heard. You made my day! ------------------ The internet is about the free exchange and sale of other people's ideas. - Futurama
Revenge is fine, but there's a certain line one just doesn't cross. I suppose you think it's okay for a disgruntled bartender to start stirring drinks with his p*nis? Or how about p*ssing in the boss's coffee pot? That's a good one, hey? They do it on Fight Club so why not, right? It just amazes me how barbaric people can be sometimes. ------------------ All hail Fadeaway's Cyberfish -- your 2000-2001 BobFinn* Fantasy Basketball League Champions!
Well, Fadeaway, you were never in my shoes so you don't know what I went through. Since you weren't, I personally don't think you should be commenting on it; however, I certainly hope you are never in the situation I was in. Then again, if you were, I'd love to see what your gentlemanly, humanistic and "non-barbaric" method of revenge would be. Slapping the other person with your white gloves, perhaps? ------------------ "Blues is a Healer" --John Lee Hooker
No, but he was compensated for that after he won his court case. ------------------ All hail Fadeaway's Cyberfish -- your 2000-2001 BobFinn* Fantasy Basketball League Champions!
I thought it was funny. It is rude, crude, immature and disgusting, but still pretty damn funny, if you ask me. Don't worry '95. I'm officially retired from rebel flag debates. ------------------ "I have no regrets except that I wasn't up to keep Randy from getting on that plane." --Ozzy Osbourne on guitarist Randy Rhodes
So since he didn't work for the woman for three months, he's not allowed to consider your version of revenge to be disgusting? What a revolutionary concept. I guess if you beat your wife, I'm not allowed to form an opinion of that, since I never dated/married her...?
It's not cool at all, and it's certainly not funny. It's disgusting and base. It reminds me of something from one of those Fox specials about people being caught on camera. Sickening. Something is truly wrong with American culture if something like that can be considered a funny, acceptable joke. Kagy's story is neat, but Tex's is just pathetic. ------------------ All hail Fadeaway's Cyberfish -- your 2000-2001 BobFinn* Fantasy Basketball League Champions!
Ouch! Well, I thought it was funny. ------------------ The internet is about the free exchange and sale of other people's ideas. - Futurama
