...now I've dumped 2 girls in the past, but I only did so because I did not have any feelings for them. This one particular girl, I love with my whole heart, and would do anything for. The problem is that I do not feel any reciprocation, sometimes it seems like she is only with me for a)convenience and b)what my future occupation will be. I'm getting so drained dealing with her nonsense and irresponsibility. I don't want to break her heart because I really do care for her, but I'm having doubts as to whether her feelings for me are real or not. As of right now, I am not happy and I do not know if her behavior will change. I'm hoping it will with time, but I feel disrespect from her all the time, but I still love her. I don't know what to do...
Get it over with. You are prolonging the inevitible. People very rarely, if ever, change. Go be happy.
Same exact situation with one of my friends. Dump her, find someone that actually cares for you as much as you do for them.
Perhaps hint that you want some time apart, and see how she responds. Will she get very angry, or start crying? You bringing up that point, will force her into thinking all sorts of scenarios of what she may have done wrong, or what you may have found out about her. I only suggest this because you express doubt in the relationship, I wouldn't advise anyone to do it out of the blue, to play mind games. Edit: If this has been a very long relationship, she may be getting anxious, upset, doubtful about YOUR feelings for her, if you haven't asked her to marry her....
Wrong. Dump her and spend some time with yourself. You'll be more centered and ready for your next relationship.
[Advice from a guy who has no relationship success, but I've failed in similar ways, so hear me out.] Maybe instead of dumping her, you should talk it out with her. Let her know how you feel. Maybe she does love you and just doesn't show it well. Then again, maybe you're right and she's using you. Either way, you'll know the right decision at that point and won't be guessing.
If I bring anything up, she starts her b****ing and crying. I've learned its better to leave her be and bring up things I have problems with indirectly. She has no problems apologizing for her goofups, but she never learns from them. As a man, it is adamant that she respect me, because if she does not no one will. I respect her all the time, but I feel like she thinks I'll always be there no matter what she does. I don't have the heart to upset her because I really see no point in causing conflict. When she gets upset, I get upset and it ruins my studying and family life. I've been with her for 5 months now.
Cut it off. Seriously. If you can't talk to her about things like this without her actually soaking it up and learning and growing from it, it's NOT EVER GOING TO GET BETTER. You deserve someone who will respect you, listen to you, and reciprocate the feelings you have. Ditch the *itch.
How old are you? How old is she? What is your future career? What are your feelings on marriage? What are hers? What is your social security number? Need more info to give my lame advice. Kidding about the ss#. Please don't post it.
I'll go out on a limb and say that your feelings of dis-respect are more accurate and genuine than your feelings of love-- which can easily be confused with hormonal communication! In other words, you would have to respect her if you truly loved her...
1) We are both 22. 2) Doctor. 3) She has brought up marriage several times, and I have actually never opposed the THOUGHT of it in the future...meaning im not scared to marry her if everything worked out.
Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my speciality. "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you." -H.S.
I'm with meggo at this point. She either has problems or has some major growing up to do. You shouldn't tie yourself to that.
The only true BBS way to decide is to post a poll asking what you should do, and to make your decision based solely on that result. In fact, a fun social experiment would be for someone to make all their major decisions in life based on internet polls.
