I don't have a child, but my girlfriend does. Recently, for no reason I can recall, I decided to say the phrase "fer shizzle" in his presence. Being 7 years old, I didn't think it would really even register, let alone be of interest to him. I was wrong. He had apparently heard the phrase "fer shizzle my nizzle" on TV before and my statement had triggered that memory. So as soon as I said fer shizzle he immediately comes back with "fer shizzle my nizzle". His mom and I were so tickled we couldn't help but laugh our asses off. But we had created a monster. Because now, HE WON'T STOP SAYING IT. He says it all the time, for no reason. He has just today decided that "fer shizzle my nizzle" is now his new first name, and wishes to be addressed as such. The first time he said it it was so unbelievably cute it didn't occur to me he might run it into the ground. Now I know better. Anyone else have some good stories of things they inadvertently taught their children that they didn't mean to, or if you meant to, later regreted?
Well, this is kind of different, but my little cousin's first words (courtesy of me and my brother) was fu*king b**ch. We were just standing there cursing at each other, can't remember why, and didn't realize he was in the room. Then my brother says it, and I hear a noise, I see my baby cousin standing in the corner of the room. We're both staring at him, thinking "oh ****, big mistake", but not saying anything.... then he lets out "fukinbich", and we fell to the floor dying of laughter. I know I know it's not something to be proud about, but there's nothing we could do about it really, and we couldn't help ourselves from laughing.
Well I was kinda sorry I taught my 3.5 year old daughter the national anthem the other day. Not really but I'll share the story. Thursday it was raining hard and both the wife and I had to work late so I left the office for a few mins to go pick Maggie up at school and bring her back to the office. After a while she said she had to go potty so I took her to the restroom. There was a guy sitting down and using the 3 stall so I put her in the second stall and she proceeded to go #2. Then she starts into this grunting and groaning rendition of the National Anthem. If you can just imagine this cute little angelic voice grunting out the song, It was one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life. I don't know how the guy in the next stall kept from busting out loud.
Not my kid, but I went with my girlfriend to DC last summer, and stayed with her aunt. While we were there, I apparently taught her cousin how to fight. Her cousin was about 2, and when I would see her walking around the house, I would tell her "Monte, you want to fight?" and hold up my curled fist. Pretty soon, she would start telling me "Yes" when I asked if she wanted to fight, and holding up her little fist too. So I took her fist and would hit people with it. Everyone thought it was really cute, and she would start walking up to me asking if I wanted to fight. Now, she beats the hell out of everyone. If her older sister has something that she wants, she hits her *in the face* and takes it. She swings at her mom, her grandpa, and anyone else in the house. They'll thank me when she's a professional boxer. Or maybe not.
Now, I didn't teach my daughter this but she heard my ex (her mother) say this. We came home one evening and we were just about to get out of the truck, she had forgotten something, she looks up and says " Aw F**K". I was hot, I called her mom and griped her out cuz I know I never said it around her and when I asked her she said her mom said it.
My kids won't stop saying, "Shake it like a Polaroid peeek-cha." (Outkast) and "Who ordered the poo-poo platter?" (Bug's Life). It's great when they use 'em both at an after church dinner... and you're on the church's staff. Other than that, I'm lovin' it. My son.
What is 2 Shizzle Plus 2 Shizzle? 4 SHIZZLE!!!!!! I wish My Ex's husband had not taught my son TIGHT MAN THAT WAS TIGHT THIS IT TIGHT . .. rocket River have to teach himm more adjectives
I don't have any kids, to the best of my knowledge, but it would seem to me that teaching your kids how to set household fires for the purpose of insurance returns is not something to be entered into lightly.
HEHEHE I've got a few stories. The first, my dad revealed to me on my 21st birthday: my dad was working in his workshop area when I was a toddler, and he messed up on something he was working on and said, "AUGH F*CK!" and went on to mumble some more swear words, not realizing that I had toddled my way into the garage. So then I walk back around to the back of the house straight up to my mom and say, "AUGH F*CK mumble mumble mumble." Mom wasn't too happy with that one. The other few sayings I've taught my best friend's neice over the past 5 years: "wassaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!" Tounge hanging out and everything. We tried to teach her some of the other languages, but she just didn't catch on. raspberry wars. 'Nuf said. the game "nakey baby": Everybody knows kids go through a "nakey" stage - well cassidy certainly had her fair share at that one. One minute she was dressed, the next minute I'd be yelling at someone "Nakey baby! Nakey baby! Someone catch that nakey baby!" So not only did that prolong her nakey stage, but, she turned it into a game, making everything 10 times worse - especially when she'd try to do it in public. "Risa has booooobies" The family got REALLY mad at me for that one. I was playing with Cassidy (the kid) while Risa was trying to change because she had to go to work or something, and her boob accidentally popped out of her bra, and Cassidy said, "Aunt Risa is getting nakey!" and I said, "yeah and Risa has booooobies! cover those things up girl!" Cassidy ran around the house for the next week saying it to everybody she encountered.... OOPS.
Thanks! Like I said, Cassidy's mom and nana didn't think it was so funny back then... but anyway, my mom is coming into town today, so I'll ask her for any more good stories about me or my sisters. I know there has got to be more somewhere!
