My wife and I were married almost 7 years ago, and my father decided to save money by videotaping it himself. During the wedding ceremony itself, he had my uncle hold the camera so he could get on tape when he walked in with my mom. About a month after the wedding, my dad calls me to say that "something weird happened to the tape", and that the wedding ceremony itself didnt make it on tape. He sort of insinuated that my uncle screwed up his camera in the process. My uncle called us and apologized; he was quite embarrassed. Anyway, since the tape didnt have the ceremony, we never got around to watching it....until this weekend when we had some spare time. As promised, right after the first bridesmaid walks down the aisle, the screen goes fuzzy and flashes a couple times, and then the clock on the bottom corner jumps forward about 2 hours, and its the reception. "Thats a bummer," my wife says. "Curious," I reply, ".....what was that flash?" I rewind the tape to the bridesmaid and start forwarding frame by frame. The time stamp says 10/25/97 3:03pm when the screen starts to go fuzzy. I advance it through two more fuzzy frames, and then the next frame actually makes my wife and I gasp simultaneously. The bottom of the screen says 11/07/97 1:15pm. The screen shows a picture of my stepmom sitting on a boat in Hong Kong harbor, holding a cocktail. I advance the frame two more times and my dad appears in the last frame with a beer in his hand. Then the screen blurs out and we're back at 10/25/97 5:34pm, and its the wedding reception. Obviously my Dad got drunk and taped over our wedding tape, lied about it, got someone to splice (poorly) a new copy, and created the story to cover his ass. My wife wants to kill him. I am really angry, mostly about the lie and the WEAK-ASS coverup attempt. Obviously there is nothing I can do about the tape, but how do you think I should handle this the next time I talk to him? I think its going to be a mess. Any advice?
Drop it! Bringing it up won't bring back your video and accusing your father will only get ugly. Besides! You're married so what does it matter? We had a similar experience at our wedding. We didn't video tape it but my best man was wired with a dictaphone to record our vows, but when the ceremony started he pressed the play button instead of record. He felt horrible about it afterwards but my wife and I just laughed it off. The only things we have now are our memories! And they get better with time!
BE HONEST!!!!! Dont let it go or you will stew about it and eventually you will blow it out your ass. I would call him asap and get it over with. Thats my advice.
Making a mistake is one thing. Lying about it and trying to cover it up is another. If you are pissed, let them know and then talk about it. No it wont bring it back but it will always be there in your mind. Talking about problems is always better than letting it go.
Well, I doubt they did it on purpose, so I wouldn't get that mad at them. It was a stupid mistake; and every single person has made a stupid mistake. I would be angry as well, but both of you need to sit on this a week and get a little more perspective. I would call them on lieing about it. And they definitely owe y'all a BIG favor. But that's about it where I'm concerned. Something like free babysitting at y'alls beck and call for a year would be sufficient payback.
I'd drop it as well, nothing good can come of it.... just be careful who you ask to tape your anniversary.
I'm not so mad about the video....recall that I got married in 1997 and seven years later I finally got around to watching the tape. But lying about it, doing such a poor cover up, and insinuating that my uncle was responsible.....all pretty low down and dirty actions, in my opinion.
I agree the cover up is the worst part. It's very strange because the roles are reversed. I would bring it up, and if the situation permits levity point out the role reversal, and then ground your father for two weeks, and tell him that he can use that time to think long and hard about what he's done.
Seven years? Seems like there ought to be some kind of statute of limitations. Let it go, or at the very least, mention it in a joking manner to see if he owns up. Then, let him apologize and let it go.
I would bring it up so I wouldn't be pissed every time I saw them. You are lucky in one way, at least it wasn't them having sex on the boat.
Confront him. But do it with a sense of mercy. I think Rashmon's post makes a lot of sense. Family harmony is hard to get back once you blow it up. You have to ask yourself if this is the kind of thing that's worth blowing it up for.
Well, it's not like there's anything now that will bring that video back. No matter how angry you get at your father, it won't do a bit of good as per the final result. I'm in the camp for just leaving it alone, or maybe mention it to him, but not in an angry way.
It was an important moment, but it was a long time ago. As someone had stated, you can bring it up in a joking manner to let him know what he did was wrong and that he shouldn't do it again. The most important thing though is that he needs to come clean with your uncle. There is no reason for your uncle to carry this guilt.
Hey, at least you didn't find a home made parental p*rn video on the tape. Count yourself lucky for that.
Unless your father was a professional videographer (is that what they're called?), you have to accept some responsibility for what happened so you can't be angry about the incident just the lie. I feel sorry for your uncle. If you're close with him, it would be unfair to not let him know the truth. I would not let it lie cause your father should not have made him the scapegoat. I would also let your father know and let him decide how he wants to go about things. If he wants drama, screw it, he got drunk and recorded over your wedding video and blamed someone else not the other way around. My $0.02
Man, your uncle got screwed the most out of this whole thing. He gets first dibs on getting an apology.
Dude, Ask him about it......but in a nice manner. Let him come clean, and tell him you will not tell your uncle if he gives you guys a GREAT anniversary gift. DD
Yeah, I would call him out. But I'd also make a joke about it. I mean, quite honestly, I know it's a good keepsake and all, but did you REALLY plan on watching your wedding a zillion times? I'd cool off about not having a video copy and then I'd jovially lay into him for taping over the wedding in a drunken stupor.
