1. Welcome! Please take a few seconds to create your free account to post threads, make some friends, remove a few ads while surfing and much more. ClutchFans has been bringing fans together to talk Houston Sports since 1996. Join us!

[The Onion]Tmac exposed

Discussion in 'Houston Rockets: Game Action & Roster Moves' started by WhoMikeJames, Mar 30, 2008.

Tags:
Page 1 of 3
  1. WhoMikeJames

    WhoMikeJames Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2005
    Messages:
    12,691
    Likes Received:
    306
    It's a low blow but I thought it was pretty funny.

    http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/houston_rockets_catch_tracy

    HOUSTON—Rockets players held a team press conference Tuesday to express their shock, confusion, and disgust at discovering shooting guard Tracy McGrady masturbating vigorously in the darkness of the team's tape room while viewing recordings of his recent stellar 41-point performance. "We were walking down the hallway like usual and heard a bunch of moaning and shouting coming the tape room, so we opened up the door and there was T-Mac with his warm-ups around his ankles, churning himself with both hands," said small forward Shane Battier. "He just kept grunting 'Put it through the rim. Again. Give it the soft touch. Oh, Tracy, you're so good. Don't tell me you're going to take it to the hole again. I'm not ready for that yet.'" Rookie Carl Landry, who has played an important role as a reserve, said he was happy he had to sit out with a bruised left knee, claiming that there was no chance McGrady could have masturbated to him.
     
    #1 WhoMikeJames, Mar 30, 2008
  2. Shaud

    Shaud Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2008
    Messages:
    18,350
    Likes Received:
    451
    smh smh
     
    #2 Shaud, Mar 30, 2008
  3. MD_in_Training

    MD_in_Training Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2008
    Messages:
    4,104
    Likes Received:
    1,832
    I wonder why they picked McGrady as the victim of this story. This seems more like something Kobe would do.
     
    #3 MD_in_Training, Mar 30, 2008
  4. RocketTilIDie

    RocketTilIDie Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2008
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0
    lol....smh...
     
    #4 RocketTilIDie, Mar 30, 2008
  5. Kam

    Kam Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2002
    Messages:
    30,476
    Likes Received:
    1,322
    five stars!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    #5 Kam, Mar 30, 2008
  6. jasonemilio

    jasonemilio Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2007
    Messages:
    4,404
    Likes Received:
    48
    "churning himself with both hands..."

    RoFL LOLz XD Lords thats pretty pretty funny
     
    #6 jasonemilio, Mar 30, 2008
  7. magnetik

    magnetik Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2005
    Messages:
    5,570
    Likes Received:
    490
    LOL!

    the Shaq one is hilarious too
     
    #7 magnetik, Mar 30, 2008
  8. KingCheetah

    KingCheetah Atomic Playboy
    Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2002
    Messages:
    59,079
    Likes Received:
    52,748
    This is a despicable piece of journalism ~ as an American I am deeply offended.
     
    #8 KingCheetah, Mar 30, 2008
  9. blathersby

    blathersby Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Messages:
    2,316
    Likes Received:
    49
    Let's clean up this forum a bit...
     
    #9 blathersby, Mar 30, 2008
  10. baller4life315

    baller4life315 Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2003
    Messages:
    12,698
    Likes Received:
    3,032
    I've read a lot of second rate spoof journalism and this doesn't even qualify as that. Not because it pokes fun at T-Mac, I just don't think it's funny.
     
    #10 baller4life315, Mar 30, 2008
  11. eMat

    eMat Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2007
    Messages:
    1,511
    Likes Received:
    15
    What are you talking about? This is the GARM not the Hangout.
     
    #11 eMat, Mar 30, 2008
  12. MD_in_Training

    MD_in_Training Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2008
    Messages:
    4,104
    Likes Received:
    1,832
    Not only is it not funny, but I don't see how it even pokes fun at TMac. If you replace the name "Tmac" with any other player in the league, the joke wouldn't lose an once of its effect. (or lack thereof) In order to poke fun at a person, you need to find an idiosyncrasy that is relevant only to that person.
     
    #12 MD_in_Training, Mar 30, 2008
  13. badgerfan

    badgerfan Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2007
    Messages:
    3,974
    Likes Received:
    3
    Sheesh, I think some of the people around here need to lighten up. It is a low blow but I have to admit I laughed. Guiltily, or course.
     
    #13 badgerfan, Mar 30, 2008
  14. Spacemoth

    Spacemoth Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2007
    Messages:
    9,908
    Likes Received:
    4,692
    Yeah it had no specificity for T-Mac whatsoever. Personally I would have found it more accurate if it was a guy like McCants or Ben Gordon, people who have next to no utility for their team beyond getting points.
     
    #14 Spacemoth, Mar 30, 2008
  15. DreamRoxCoogFan

    DreamRoxCoogFan Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2007
    Messages:
    3,661
    Likes Received:
    175
    HAHAHAHA
     
    #15 DreamRoxCoogFan, Mar 30, 2008
  16. OrangeCountyCA

    OrangeCountyCA Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2002
    Messages:
    1,718
    Likes Received:
    2
    WOW :eek:

    lol at Carl Landry sitting out :D
     
    #16 OrangeCountyCA, Mar 30, 2008
  17. dafatha00

    dafatha00 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2002
    Messages:
    442
    Likes Received:
    1
    "Don't tell me you're going to take it to the hole again. I'm not ready for that yet.'"

    LOL, that's hilarious.
     
    #17 dafatha00, Mar 30, 2008
  18. foo82

    foo82 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2006
    Messages:
    923
    Likes Received:
    31
    Omg, the onion must be racist because they picked on Tmac, and he's black!! I won't contribute anymore if this is rated 4 stars

    :rolleyes:
     
    #18 foo82, Mar 30, 2008
  19. Pizza_Da_Hut

    Pizza_Da_Hut I put on pants for this?

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2003
    Messages:
    11,323
    Likes Received:
    4,119
    I love the Onion.
     
    #19 Pizza_Da_Hut, Mar 30, 2008
  20. Yaozer

    Yaozer Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2006
    Messages:
    5,392
    Likes Received:
    2
    Not really what I call journalism... but still.. damn, that's some imagination.
     
    #20 Yaozer, Mar 30, 2008
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 1 of 3

Share This Page

Style
ClutchFans Dark

  • About ClutchFans

    Since 1996, ClutchFans has been loud and proud covering the Houston Rockets, helping set an industry standard for team fan sites. The forums have been a home for Houston sports fans as well as basketball fanatics around the globe.

  • Rockets Content

  • Support ClutchFans!

    If you find that ClutchFans is a valuable resource for you, please consider becoming a Supporting Member. Supporting Members can upload photos and attachments directly to their posts, customize their user title and more. Gold Supporters see zero ads!


    Upgrade Now