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The New English!

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by getsmartnow, Feb 6, 2003.

  1. getsmartnow

    getsmartnow Member

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    Just a little funny I got in my InBox the other day. Worth a look.

    The European Union Commission have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
    As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that
    English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

    In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly,sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the
    hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up
    konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
    expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

    By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".
    During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
    containing "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place....

    :D
     
  2. Oski2005

    Oski2005 Member

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    I saw this about a year or two ago, not sure where though.
     

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