My friend and I were comparing Ryan Bowen to Chuck Norris, came up with this stuff: Ryan Bowen once jumped and touched the top of the backboard...with his testicles. Ryan Bowen once scored 82 points in a game. It takes a bowl made exclusively for Ryan Bowen which uses wood that can be found only on the top of the K-9 peak in the Himalayas, embedded w/ diamonds, to achieve his sexy hair cut. The Lakers tried to pry Ryan Bowen from the Rockets at the trade deadline, offering Kobe Bryant, Lamar Odom, Phil Jackson, and 2 future first rounders. The Rockets quickly declined. Ryan Bowen has his own shoe line: Air White Trash. Ryan Bowen has an IQ of 160...also the height of his vertical jump. Ryan Bowen once beat Jeff Van Gundy in a game of Connect Four...in three moves. Ryan Bowen is the inspiration behind Adam in the Sistine Chapel.
Bill Walton once delcared Ryan Bowen a god among basketball players. Bowen quickly roundhouse kicked Bill in the throat. "Only Ryan Bowen can call Ryan Bowen a god!" Bill Walton never spoke again, but continued to anger fans across the world as a commentator.
This thread borders on cruel. O.K., Bowen is not very good, more of a church league player, but really, why pile on the poor (actually rich) guy? I like his bird impressions. He seems very intelligent. Nice person. Let's leave him be. He is just a very lucky guy, like Moochie. They both remind me that I too could have played at the NBA level. All I needed was the break I never got. They are living my dream! All our dreams! Give them some love!
Would you believe that we've already done a Ryan Bowen Facts thread. Well we have: http://bbs.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?t=106970
Oh my GOD you are your friend are incredibly funny! Please don't stop, I am completely serious. I like the one about his hair. Can you imagine going all that way just to get a bowl to cut Ryan Bowen's hair with? And then it also has to have diamonds on it probably because Ryan Bowen is so particular about his hair cutting bowls. Too funny! Air White Trash? Oh my GOD. That is classic! I see what you did there. You took the old "Air Jordans" that were made popular by Michael Jordan, and then you pretended like there was a special shoe for Ryan Bowen, but because you think he is trashy you called them "Air White Trash". HYSTERICAL!!!!! Please don't stop with these. You two are INCREDIBLE! Do you know what you should do? You should call the Jim ROme show. Seriously. You should tell the rest of America these things. Why waste your gift here when you could spread the joy to so many others? Thanks for this. It really made my day! Air White Trash. Hysterical!
My contribution from that thread. Few people know that Bruce Bowen is actually the son of Ryan. Ryan raised Bruce to the age of 18 before discovering Bruce was not his son. Ryan discovered that Bruce could hit a jumpshot.
If RyBo actually jumped in the air, the earth would no longer rotate on its axis every 24 hours, it would be more like 10 hours, thus the reason why he has never jumped.
I wanted to add Ryan Bowen to my friends list but I don't think I can handle the awesome responsibility of being a friend of Ryan Bowen..
