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The Greatest Corporate BS Speak

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Buck Turgidson, Jan 14, 2022.

  1. Dr of Dunk

    Dr of Dunk Clutch Crew

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    We need a consultant for that. Is one in the budget? We should hire someone to see if it's in the budget. Maybe a consultant?
     
    plutoblue11 and Buck Turgidson like this.
  2. Dr of Dunk

    Dr of Dunk Clutch Crew

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    I don't know who these ppl are, but here's another video of theirs that has me laughing (yet crying) :

     
  3. davidio840

    davidio840 Contributing Member

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    Let’s take a deep dive into the bandwidth of the value added proposition this afternoon to confirm we have the budget this fiscal years Q3. Then we will circle back in the morning after I touch base with our new game changer in sales.
     
  4. Buck Turgidson

    Buck Turgidson Mineshaft Enthusiast

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    Yeah, you need a consultant to consult on what consultant to hire to do the consulting you wanted in the first place.

    AKA: The Houston Texans Management Plan Since 2002
     
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  5. Ubiquitin

    Ubiquitin Contributing Member
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    put a pin in it.
     
  6. gifford1967

    gifford1967 Contributing Member
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    Buzz words and stupid trends are just as bad in education.
     
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  7. Buck Turgidson

    Buck Turgidson Mineshaft Enthusiast

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    Please do expound on this.
     
  8. Invisible Fan

    Invisible Fan Contributing Member
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    Let's schedule a session to plan up a war room in order to level set expectations and draw buy in from all stakeholders.
     
  9. Dr of Dunk

    Dr of Dunk Clutch Crew

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    At the last company I worked at, when the "war room" assembled you knew some crap was about to go down like layoffs. Of course nobody but the people in the war room knew what was going on, and even then, most of them didn't even know. After 2 several weeks-long "war room" sessions, the company went through a couple of layoffs and then they sold the company.
     
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  10. Invisible Fan

    Invisible Fan Contributing Member
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    Guess they lost the war.

    More like Hitler's bunker.
     
  11. Buck Turgidson

    Buck Turgidson Mineshaft Enthusiast

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    Hey, they didn't give capsules to just anybody
     
  12. gifford1967

    gifford1967 Contributing Member
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    Well, for example, the call for "equity" is repeated like a mantra, often to garner support for programs or practices that will achieve the opposite of equity. This is particularly true for reading instruction in the United States. We now have decades of research that demonstrates the most effective way to teach reading at the early elementary level and this body of evidence is largely ignored by teacher preparation programs and many/most districts and schools, for largely philosophical reasons. It's really a massive cluster**** and harms minority and low income students the most.
     
  13. OkayAyeReloaded

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    Still like this one

     
  14. Ubiquitin

    Ubiquitin Contributing Member
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  15. IBTL

    IBTL Member

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  16. CCorn

    CCorn Member

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    At one startup I worked for the entire sales team was required to pound in their chest and scream billions during meetings.
     
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  17. STR8Thugg

    STR8Thugg STR8Thugg Member
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    Popeyes’ mission statement is “to increase franchisee success in every facet of the business. Profitability and service excellence are achieved with a focus on five strategic pillars that guide every business decision.” These five pillars are:

    • Build a distinctive brand
    • Create memorable experiences
    • Grow restaurant profits
    • Accelerate quality restaurants
    • Develop servant leaders.
     
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  18. Phillyrocket

    Phillyrocket Member

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    Good God! That is the most atrocious pile of BS I’ve ever read. Whoever wrote that or thought it should be locked away for the sake of society.
     
  19. Invisible Fan

    Invisible Fan Contributing Member
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    They prob brought in some consultants from MacKinsee or Baine to pivot that shitshow into a clownshow.

    Rome wasn't built in a day!!!
     
  20. Buck Turgidson

    Buck Turgidson Mineshaft Enthusiast

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    McKinsey, btw.
     

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