Q: what did the fish say when he ran into the wall? A: ..dam ------------------ Paranoid, trying to stuff the void.
oh yeah, how about this one: "A baby seal walks into a club..." ------------------ Time is a great teacher-- only problem is it kills all its pupils.
How about this.. Q - What did the cow say when he saw other cows in his way? A - MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE ------------------ "Break off the block like Maurice Green" --- Steve Francis President of the Moochie Norris fan club.
A guy walks into a bar... ouch. ------------------ "Light travels faster than sound, so some people appear to be bright until you hear them speak." -- Brian Williams (now Bison Dele) commenting on Isiah Thomas.
Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel tied to his crotch. Bartender says "hey, you know you have a steering wheel tied to your groin ?" Pirate replies "aaarrrggghhh !!!! It's driving me nuts." ------------------ "norm, would you like to buy an indian scalp ? This deal isn't gonna make or break me Norm, so don't jerk me around." Harry Carey "Norm, if I had a mohawk scalp, I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you."
Q. How do you catch a unique rabbit? A. Unique up on it. ------------------ All hail Fadeaway's Cyberfish -- your 2000-2001 BobFinn* Fantasy Basketball League Champions!
Q. How do you catch a tame rabbit? A. Tame way! ------------------ I always thought "With my talent, it's only a matter of time before I'm discovered". Now I think "With my talent, it's only a matter of time before I'm found out".
A guy walks into a store. He's looking around, and then he walks up to the cashier. At the checkout they have different gifts, but then the guy notices an intriguing brass rat. He eyes it, and asks the cashier, "How much is this brass rat?" "Ten dollars. But there is a story, too." "How much is the story?" "One-hundred dollars." "Oh. I'll just take the brass rat." "I think you'll like to have the story..." "Nonsense! Just give me the rat." So the guy walks out of the store with the brass rat. Suddenly, he hears a noise behind him. He turns around, and to his horror, there is about ten thousand rats chasing him. He starts running like hell, and comes to a river. He runs onto the bridge over the river and desperately flings the brass rat into the water. All the rats running behind him run into the river and drown. He makes his way back to the store. The cashier chuckles when he sees him all out of breath and asks, "So do you want the story now?" "Naw. I came back cause I wanted to ask you...do you happen to have any brass democrats?" ------------------ "They couldn't shoot, rebound, or pass, but other than that, they played great!" -Bill Walton
WOAR!!HOO HOO HAA HAA!! ..ROFLMAO, and SHFTL!!!! ------------------ Rarely is the question asked: Guns kill squirrels than REDRUM to fools across the nation?
This gold miner walks into a bar and says: "I have been up iun the mountains for months, I want a bottle of beer and your toughest dirtiest w****" The bartender gives him a drink and sends him to a room. He enters and the woman looks at him, turns around and bends over, grabbing her ankles. The miner says: "How do you know that is how I want it?" Prostitute says: "I don't, I just thought you would need help opening that bottle." ------------------ I have just realized that the stakes are myself I have no other ransom money, nothing to break or barter but my life my spirit measured out, in bits, spread over the roulette table, I recoup what I can nothing else to shove under the nose of the maître de jeu nothing to thrust out the window, no white flag this flesh all I have to offer, to make the play with this immediate head, what it comes up with, my move as we slither over this go board, stepping always (we hope) between the lines
Q:What's a horses favorite TV Show?? A:NEIGHbours.... I'm so, so sorry. But Neighbours really is THAT bad. ------------------ http://titansmania.50megs.com better to ask a question and be a fool for 15 minutes, than to never ask a question and be a fool for the rest of your life." Confucious say: "Boy who meet girl in park, very lucky. But boy who park meat in girl, extremely lucky!"
Beto built a rocket ship, big enough for two, for a trip to the sun. When he asked Roxran if he'd like to come along, Roxran refused... until Beto assured him that they'd take the trip at night. Beto and Roxran were walking through the woods when they came across a deer w/ his head stuck in a fence. Roxran immediately dropped his pants and had his way with the deer. Afterwards he turned to Beto, "your turn"... so Beto stuck his head in the fence. ------------------ girl you looks good won't you mock that draft up?!
A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mIirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, She is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small. Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?" The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your ass, didn't it?" ------------------ One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Nice-- very mature. So you derisively dismiss Beto's political posts and threads, because he's a troll and therefore you're absolved of having to try to counter his arguments-- but it's cool to mock him in other threads.
BK, your mom's so fat... when I yell Kool-Aid, she comes jumping through the wall. BTW, what are you talking about? I had a conversation at length w/ Beto in that global warming thread. I may have wondered if he was just screwing w/ us (was he?) but I kept at it, b/c I figured that either way he was misinforming people. I'm sorry if I haven't played lately in the billion other political threads on this board, but to be honest, it gets old sometimes. People introduce the same lame arguments, one person offends another, it's a never ending cycle. Besides, I have other things to learn about other than gun control/abortion, etc. ------------------ girl you looks good won't you mock that draft up?!
All right, a joke thread! perfect way to boost a lagging post count Two eggs, a bagel, and a bowl of oatmeal walk into a bar and order a beer, but the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here" And now, the real funniest joke in the history of the universe Why does a chicken coupe have two doors? If it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan ------------------ If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding!!
Achebe: you are out of control. ------------------ Time is a great teacher-- only problem is it kills all its pupils.
Achebe, that is a good one. Here is a scientific link for you to enjoy, so you can forget about politics for awhile. http://dailynews.yahoo.com/htx/nm/20010610/en/people-bronstein_1.html ------------------ I hate rice and beans!
A man boards an airplane and, to his surprise, is seated next to a beautiful woman. He inquires about her trip. She replies that she is the President of The International Society of Nymphomaniacs. He blushes. She assures him that it is all very legitimate. Their's is a professional and scientific society dedicated to understanding nymphomania. He asks her to tell him more. She goes on: "The most well endowed group are the Native Americans. The most passionate lovers are the Jews, but if you want a great one-night stand, our research shows that nothing beats a southern Redneck for a rollicking good time. By the way, I didn't catch your name?" Tonto. Tonto Goldberg. But my friends call me Bubba.... ------------------ Time is a great teacher-- only problem is it kills all its pupils.
