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The Absence of the Male Influence

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout: Debate & Discussion' started by joliver325, Dec 27, 2009.

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  1. joliver325

    joliver325 Member

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    Is the lack of father figures the main reason why urban centers, ghettos and hoods are like they are?

    I think more than the bad economy, racism and education, the lack of influential fathers in the household is the main reason many kids are growing up dysfunctional.

    Any thoughts?
     
  2. DonnyMost

    DonnyMost not wrong
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    It takes a village to raise a child.

    The concept of the village is long gone.
     
  3. DaDakota

    DaDakota If you want to know, just ask!

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    The lack of male role models are certainly a factor, as would the lack of female role models be a factor.

    How can you have good cop/bad cop with only one person?

    DD
     
  4. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    You're a neo-maxi zoom dweebie.
     
  5. joliver325

    joliver325 Member

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    But most "families" I see in urban areas have the single mother that's the influence while the fathers are absent. I can attest to this b/c across the street I have two set of families. One with a male figure and one without. And the children with one tend to be more goal oriented and tend to make better choices than the ones without. Now I know this is only a minute sample but I do believe if more fathers were in their childrens lives, you'd see less running the streets. Now having fathers doesn't automatically seal the deal but have a father providing positive influence I believe is immensely huge
     
  6. joliver325

    joliver325 Member

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    O......K.....
     
  7. Codman

    Codman Contributing Member

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    I teach in a Title I school in East Phoenix. The deficit of any sort of "male influence" is incredibly evident. My classroom is mainly characterized with Hispanic and Mexican children and I would wager that less than a quarter have any sort of positive male influence in their lives. For me, it's very depressing. I've had numerous kids basically ask me to take them in, not only for a father figure, but also because of the extreme poverty they live in.

    I went on a house visit last week and discovered that one of the boys in my class shares a one-bedroom apartment with six other people. The worst part was that the apartment was a dirt floor and had no running water. :(

    For many reasons, the absence of a male influence presents itself negatively in social settings. The boys in my class used to have trust issues with me, most likely because of past memories of males abandoning them.

    This post was kind of a tangent, and while I could discuss this topic for days, I think it comes down to effort from communities. If fathers are absent, I think we could all step our game up to make a difference. I try my best in a classroom setting, but that only goes so far. It gives me anxiety knowing that I can't do quite enough for my students....really.

    Become a "Big Brother"/ "Big Sister". Volunteer. Do something.
     
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  8. BetterThanEver

    BetterThanEver Contributing Member

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    I am not sure if a lack of male influence leads to crime.

    There are many divorced single mothers in suburbia also. The children's father is not in the picture, but they don't turn out to be criminals.

    However, a father or mother that's a criminal is different. What's the saying "Birds of a feather flock together? I think women that believe crime is the way is more likely to have a baby with a criminal. If some girl thinks thugs are sexyl, she might love the thug lifestyle.

    One of my former co-workers grew up shop lifting. She was in a single parent home, and her mother taught her how to do it. There were 3 daughters. She take all her daughters to stores to shoplift, when they were younger.
     
  9. durvasa

    durvasa Contributing Member

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    I don't think its the "male" influence. Two parents can keep better tabs on their children and discipline them more effectively than one parent.
     
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  10. Pharaoh King

    Pharaoh King Member

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    The destruction of the nuclear family, especially in the minority communities, is a very recent phenomena, and America is only beginning to see its full manifestation in society in recent years. I am guessing the current generation is the first where entire communities are being 'built' without any fatherly influence. Ultimately at the core of this issue is personal responsibility, and clearly that is missing in America these days, which is why a lot of fathers think nothing of abandoning their kids and being essentially absent from their kids' lives, which in turn affects how their kids perform in scholastics and this in turn affects their job prospects and the entire vicious cycle continues. It is no coincidence communities with the strongest families are also the same ones with the most successful kids. I am not advocating marriage per se, but a fatherly influence is VERY important in a kid's life. You will always have those rare success stories. but they are few and far in between. Just ask any teacher today and they will gladly 'profile' the kids who do well in their classrooms and those who always act out and get into trouble. Discipline and work ethics is really the key behind success in life, and those are values instilled at a very young age.
     
  11. Ubiquitin

    Ubiquitin Contributing Member
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    Correlation does not imply causation. There are confounders at work.

    I am more successful than you, and I had no male figures in my life.
     
  12. Severe Rockets Fan

    Severe Rockets Fan Takin it one stage at a time...

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    Very true. Also, I'm surprised no one mentions that poverty is much more common among single parent families for obvious reasons (only one income)...hell, even if the dad is a deadbeat he can still take care of the kids at home which is huge if the mother is working 3 jobs to support the family. That's probably a top 3 reason why single mothers are poor...they simply can't find adequate childcare...it's really sad.

    Anyone who says money can't buy happiness hasn't had to work 3 jobs 7 days a week and come home to a couple of screaming, hungry kids who are wondering why mommy doesn't have enough time (or energy) to spend with them.
     
  13. Severe Rockets Fan

    Severe Rockets Fan Takin it one stage at a time...

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    Do you think your situation is what commonly happens? Of course there will be exceptions..
     
  14. wizkid83

    wizkid83 Contributing Member

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    I believe a lot of this started with the War on Drugs.

    http://www.drugwarfacts.org/cms/node/64


    #

    Nationwide, black men are sent to prison on drug charges at 13 times the rate of white men.
    Source:
    Human Rights Watch, "Racial Disparities in the War on Drugs" (Washington, DC: Human Rights Watch, 2000), from their website at http://www.hrw.org/campaigns/drugs/war/key-facts.htm

    #

    At the start of the 1990s, the U.S. had more Black men (between the ages of 20 and 29) under the control of the nation's criminal justice system than the total number in college. This and other factors have led some scholars to conclude that, "crime control policies are a major contributor to the disruption of the family, the prevalence of single parent families, and children raised without a father in the ghetto, and the 'inability of people to get the jobs still available.'"



    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    While some of it requires changes in education and personal responsibility, here are something that points to the inequality of the system that leads to disparity.


    http://www.aclu.org/drug-law-reform...powder-cocaine-sentencing-disparity-restore-r


    The American Civil Liberties Union today urged a Senate subcommittee to support the repeal of dramatic disparities in sentencing policy between crack and powder cocaine, saying that sentences for crack offe

    .................................


    According to past reports by the Sentencing Commission, the majority of people prosecuted for both crack and powder cocaine offenses have been people of color. Of the total of powder cocaine cases in 2000, 57 percent were brought against Latinos and 30 percent against African-Americans, even though the vast majority of powder cocaine users were white. Crack prosecutions are skewed even further toward racial and ethnic minorities.


    ......................................................................

    www.questia.com/googleScholar.qst;jsessionid=L3nTVkz04gKyVdtz1LJZFYvQLy137xy2HDmQ6LYMmTJdRwR0tBPh!280467069!-1358995715?docId=5000470681

    The increase in the rates of incarceration of young black males is due primarily to the focus of the "war on drugs" on black drug users.(6) For drug offenses, the African American proportion of arrests increased from 24% in 1980 to 39% in 1993, even though African Americans comprise only 13% of monthly drug users.(7) From 1986 to 1990, the number of minority jail inmates increased more than twice as fast as the number of white inmates, and the increase in the number of arrests of minorities for drug offenses was almost ten times the increase in arrests of white drug offenders.(8) The precipitous increase in drug sentences for minorities is best understood by examining federal drug sentencing provisions that were adopted during the same time period.(9)
     
    #14 wizkid83, Dec 27, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2009
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  15. BetterThanEver

    BetterThanEver Contributing Member

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    There are many successful people from a divorced family. Even though the original poster equated absence fo male influence with the ghetto and hood, it's common in middle-class and rich families too. Their children didn't end up in jail.
     
  16. Severe Rockets Fan

    Severe Rockets Fan Takin it one stage at a time...

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    Yeah I'm talking about what the OP is talking about...not divorce. Divorced kids usually still have contact with their fathers(and child support)especially in middle-class and rich families...we're talking about poor families who don't have a male influence at all...big difference.
     
  17. BetterThanEver

    BetterThanEver Contributing Member

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    There are many people that have grown up in poor families without fathers. yes, but they aren't turning into criminals either.

    My half-brother and half-sister aren't criminals and they grew up their whole lives without meeting their father until their 20s. They didn't have electricity, water, or much food in Asia. Their mother never remarried. Neither one of them is in prison.

    I know of other families like this also. The biggest example are these 3 girls and a boy, when their father walked out the door several years ago. The mother never remarried and didn't have any man living at home. She had worked 3 jobs to keep up with the bills, until they could move out. She would drop them off at school, go to work, pick them up from school, drop them off at home, go to work. Then, she worked another job on the weekend. 2 of them are grown and working. The other 2 are still living with her. Nobody will ever mistake their family for being rich. They won't even be mistaken for middle class.

    I know of many people who grew up without fathers, who did fine. It's not uncommon at all. Single mothers are very common. You can't even count fathers as being in a child's life for many divorced mothers. There are more dead beat dads out there than there are good fathers. Just bring up the subject of fathers to any single mother at work. There is none to speak of, half the time.
     
  18. Rocket River

    Rocket River Member

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    Bingo!
    Social and governmental changes have IMO effected the 'urban' centers
    more than anything else.

    not only was corporal punishment removed from schools
    but
    by and large from the home. Parents are scare to discipline
    for fear of 'child abuse' charges. even if not in the court
    .. . . then the court of public opinion

    We have pushed harder and harder to give kids more and more freedoms
    but
    we have done nothing to make them responsible. . . in fact
    we seem to absolve them of alot

    We want to put a 16 yr old on trial as an adult
    but
    have not given him any of the tools every adult should be armed with
    to face life . . . must less life in prison.

    Rocket River
     
  19. BetterThanEver

    BetterThanEver Contributing Member

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    You must not have grown up with poor minority families. The fear of child abuse charges is more of a white thing. Black, Mexican, Asian, Indian, Iranian, African and other minority moms will put a hurting on you. When I grew up(in poor minority neighborhoods), none of us got time-outs.
     
  20. Rocket River

    Rocket River Member

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    I think either 2 paychecks
    or 1 paychech that is enough to cover the whole family with one parent
    being able to stay home . . helps

    Rocket River
     

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