NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of; 1. A ruler 2. A protractor 3. A set square 4. A slide rule 5. A calculator At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us." Gonzalez said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of an absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' while referring to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say; "There are 3 sides to every triangle". When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
ok so this pedophile scout master and boy scout go out camping deep in the woods. once they get set up the boy scout says "gosh we are going to have a hard time finding our way out of here!" the scout master replies, "we? I gotta find the way out by myself."
So Boudreaux and Thibadeaux are at the bar again. Thibadeaux says to Boudreaux, "I's need to be gittin' home". Boudreaux says to him, "but who will I drink wit?" Thibadeaux says, "You be right, but I's be needin' to go home to my wife sometime, Boudreaux." They continue to drink until Thibadeaux forgets all of his responsibilities. Thibadeaux drinks so much that he vomits all over himself. He says to Boudreaux, "What am I gonna do? I can't go home and tell my wife I've been drinkin' dat much. She'll kill ole' Thibadeaux." Boudreaux thinks for a minute, pulls out a twenty dollar bill and says, "Here, put dis in your front pocket. When she asks what happened, you kin tell her that some guy at da bar threw up on you, then gay you da 20 dalers fu da dry cleaning." So Thibadeaux gets home, he sees his wife. She says, "Thibabeaux, you bin drinkin' too much again." He says, "No, no. It was anoda guy dat threw up on me dear. He gave me twenty dalers fu da dry cleanin'. It's in my frun pocket." Thibadeaux's wife reaches in his pocket and pulls out 40 dollars. She says, "What's da oda 20 for?" "Oh, dat's from da guy that **** my pants."
