TEN THINGS TO PONDER DURING THE REMAINDER OF 2006

TEN THINGS TO PONDER DURING THE REMAINDER OF 2006

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without
an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person
to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two-hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2 - In the 60s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:

We know exactly where one bird with bird flu is located among the millions
and millions of birds in Britain, but we haven't got a clue as to where a
thousand illegal-immigrants with criminal convictions are located. Maybe we
should put the Ministry of Agriculture in charge of immigration.