Superstore Dispatch 3/18

A last minute tip Monday afternoon alerted me to the availability of two nosebleed seats to the Rockets-Clippers game. I waited nervously at the rendezvous point - near a dumpster behind a Coco's. Last time I was standing around near a dumpster clutching a wad of cash, I was tackled by three DEA agents and a delivery boy. Luckily, I emerged with my two tickets unscathed.

Here's what was really dangerous - I bought the tickets even though I had not yet arranged for a babysitter. But that's me - I like to live dangerously, I like to operate without a net. But by the time I needed to leave the office, I had called every 14-year-old girl I know and they were all busy.

Luckily, my wife decided she was too tired anyway and said I should just go with a friend. Thank you God! Then I realized - since wrath_of_khan moved back East, I don't have any friends here.

I wound up calling a few guys I know but they all had excuses like they had to get up "early" for a "business trip" or they wanted to spend time with their "families" and "loved ones." Man, some people need to get their @#$!! priorities straight.

So I set out alone into the chilly night air - it must have been 65, maximum. Brrrr! I parked about 5 miles away so I would not have to mortgage my house to pay for parking and arrived about 1/2-way through the 2nd quarter.

Get this - when I went into my section I was stopped by an usher who told me I would have to wait for a break in the action before I could take my seat. Are you serious? Oh, yes, I forgot this was the theah-tuh.

Now, I have to admit, my thought going in was, I wanted the Clippers to win. They're a plucky bunch of guys, they have a real chance at making the playoffs, and a Lakers-Clippers first round would be terrific. Plus, losing would give the Rocks a better lottery position, right? But once I got into the game, I couldn't help but root for the good guys. I mean, they are just so cute in their pajamas out there!

The guys above me spent the entire game looking at Darius Miles' shoes through their binoculars. They kept saying that the shoes were patent leather. Over and over, they would say, "Yep, they're patent leather, I'm sure of it!" And they meant this in an approving fashion. I don't know if they were right or not, but is that possible? Isn't patent leather stiff and shiny? Like little girls wear to school? How could you move in it? And, if you were a little girl, how could you jam a sweet alley-oop like Miles did in the first half?

Okay, so everyone knows now that the Clippers own us. The mortgage is paid, the title deed is in the safety deposit box, the annoying ads for refinancing keep coming in the mail. But still, Olowokandi was cutting through Cato like a hot knife through butter. He was pushing him around like he was a flimsy paper greeting card that you open up and it says, "So Glad You Could Push Me Around!" really, it was like he wasn't there.

Say what you want about Collier - the man stood his ground. Neither Kandi nor Brand could move him an inch - they had to work much harder to score and to even get the ball when Collier was on them. You have to feel bad for the man, though - when he ran the pick and roll for Francis or Mobely, he'd be standing there, wide open, hands out waiting for the pass from the double team that would never come.

I couldn't believe it when both he and Langhi were on the floor. I haven't seen that much white on a Rocket team since I rented Apollo 13. But I hope they get even more time during this season-end trash time lottery wait. Why not? Let them have the experience.

Cato's T - it was kind of weird. He had some words with the ref and walked away. Then Gentry said something to the ref and the ref called the T on Cato -who was already about 1/4 of the court away by now.

Then there's this guy Overton, on a 10-day with the Clippers. Even the patent-leather guys didn't know who he was. One of his first trips down the court he lost Moochie - Moochie actually fell on his ass - and sunk a 3. Then there was that wide-open bucket to seal it at the end. Who is this guy?

Moochie - he was wearing his headband at a rakish angle - does he do this often? Somebody please tell him that it might work for a fedora, but a headband should just go straight across the head. Also, I mean no disrespect, but I think Moochie is pregnant. With child. Knocked up. He's not necessarily that big, it's just an impression I get.

Best moment in the game: After Olowokandi was called for an offensive foul away from the ball late in the game, Gentry was out on the court yelling at a ref (of course, no T for him). He was between the ref and Steve, who was waiting at the sideline for the ball, which the ref was holding. Stevie gently nudged Gentry out of the way and got the ball. Well, I thought it was pretty funny anyway.

My overall impression is that the Rockets did not play with any passion - maybe that's just how it's going to be for the remainder of the season. But this was just the sort of game that a superstar would have been able to take over. I look forward to the day when Stevie acquires that killer instinct that makes the best the best, and wins it single-handedly even when the outcome makes no difference. You have to hate to lose.


Last comment - on the Chronicle's write-up of the game, which included the following sentence:

"Though Francis ended the quarter with a drive that kept the Rockets within two, the Clippers were 18-2 when leading at home after four quarters."

Um, if you are leading after 4 quarters, it means you have won the game. Every time.

See you next November.

WAG