Stuff: Francis recommends Magnum codoms...and more

I took the time to copy this word for word from an article in the May issue of Stuff Magazine so I'm gonna be pissed if this has already been posted here.

Stuff Magazine: Should Utah give the Jazz name back to New Orleans, now that they have a team again?

Francis: I think they should. But what can Utah change their name to? Maybe the Utah Cheaters. They've got a lot of dirty players.

On that note: John Stockton or John Cockton?

Hmmmm...John Cockton. He digs in to you and never gets the call. It's ridiculous. That's why I call them the cheaters.

What's the worst gift a fellow NBAer has ever given you?

I live in Houston, so probably some leather fur gloves. It's 79 degrees. What do I need gloves for? I should've re-given them, but I didn't. I still have them somewhere.

And the best gift?

I got a Roloex when I went back to college. One of my business managers gave it to me. There aren't diamonds in it or anything. It's just a plain watch. I wear it occasionally.

What kind of condom do you recommend?

Magnum. I like the gold packaging. Makes something like that look a little classier. As classy as it can be, I guess.

Pot: Pass the bowl, or that's now how you roll?

That's not how I roll, man.. Don't do it. [Its presence in the NBA is] not as bad as Oakley says it is. And when he said that 60 percent of players smoked pot he was probably high himself.

Which Rockets have slept with the same girls?

I'm sure it happens a lot, but nobody ever talks about it. In situations with groupies you gotta be real careful. You can always just walk away. That's the first option. Or text message a friend and get him to come get your back.

Chamique Holdsclaw: Did you put the W in her WNBA, so to speak?

No, no, no. I mean we did date. But...uh...I'm lucky to have her as a friend now. It's cool. We're still tight.

Ever stolen anything?

Oh, yeah. Man, I grew up in the 'hood. We'd steal all types of things in convenience stores. You know, wear big jackets with lots of pockets and have a couple of your boys distract the clerk.

DO you ever screw around with Yao Ming as far as inaccurate English translations are concerned?

Nah. You know, Yao knows a lot more English than the journalists think he does. he's always got his translator speaking for him, but he's learned a lot. When Rudy is swearing, his translator never translates "f*ck" or "****" or anything like that, but Yao will tell us afterward that he knew exactly what Rudy was saying.

And request a girl might make in the sack that you'd say no to?

"Get out of bed and go make me something to eat."

 

I copied it word for word...I have blisters on my fingers.

It's on page 63 of the May issue (Tyra Banks cover).