[SPORTSRAG] Old Humorous Mutombo Article

http://www.thesportsrag.com/016_Mutombo_Finger.html


Mutombo Really Starting To Overuse Finger-Wag


New York, NY – New York Knicks’ center Dikembe Mutombo, whose trademark, post-blocked-shot finger wag became his defensive calling card in the 1990s, is really starting to overuse it now that his skills are declining, sources confirmed Tuesday.

"I asked him if he wanted a coffee re-fill and he stood up, glared at me, and did that ‘no-no-no’ thing, trying to be all intimidating," said Stephanie Fekety, a 5’1" waitress at the 38th Street Café, a diner near Madison Square Garden frequented by the 7’2" Mutombo. "He didn’t even answer – he just stared down at me and wagged his finger back and forth. I was like, ‘Um, okay, I guess that’s a no on the coffee, then, you big freak.’"

Mutomobo, an eight-time All-Star with nearly 3,000 blocked shots who was originally drafted in 1991 by the Denver Nuggets, appeared in 65 games this season, his first with the Knicks.

But while his finger-wag used to be an exclusively on-court intimidation act, the former defensive force has apparently begun to use it more and more off-court, in places and situations where a finger-wag is simply unwarranted, such as telling a pizza delivery man he doesn’t have a bill smaller than a fifty, telling people to be quiet during a movie, or informing frightened tourists from Wisconsin that he doesn’t know how to get to the Staten Island Ferry.

"The other day he bought a token from me and, I thought, asked which train went to Canal Street," said NY Transit employee Craig Grassi. "Now, it’s pretty hard to hear in my booth – and between you and me the guy talks like cookie monster – so I asked him if he said ‘Canal Street’ or ‘Channel Street.’"

"Well," Grassi continued, "you would have thought I called his mother a w****, ‘cause all of a sudden, he gets this scary look on his face, wedges that long arm of his right under the plexiglass, and starts wagging his finger back and forth about an inch from my nose."

Grassi added. "And he just wouldn’t stop – even when the EMTs were trying to pry his arm out of the booth, he kept finger-wagging. Pretty weird."

Experts say that while Mutombo’s behavior might be construed as odd by the outside world, those familiar with the psyche of the professional athlete in the twilight of his or her career say we should not be surprised.

"When a veteran athlete begins to apply his in-game persona to everyday life, we call it ‘Associative Spotlight Syndrome,’ or ASS," said Dr. Edward Banfe, Chief of Sports Psychology at Columbia University Medical Center. "That’s because the athlete whose skills are fading, in essence, is attempting to prolong his or her time in the spotlight, as it were. We saw the same thing when, long after their retirement, Ickey Woods continued to dance the ‘Ickey Shuffle’ on street corners or Mark Fidrych kept talking to baseballs in public parks."

Banfe added: "People just assumed they were crazy homeless people."