Some Pathetic Houston Media Fodder

I've seen a lot of ridiculous stories in my day like those incredibly dumb Rob Johnson "Trapped Underwater" or "Burned Alive" reports on channel 2. 26 has done some pretty bizarre stories as well ever since they swiped the overly-dramatic voiceover guy from channel 2 - go figure. Of course, they all manage to pander to their networks through "stories" on shows that appear on the network.

Channel 2, however, seems to remain at the bottom of the pile doing the most horrendous reports including one last year where they broke in to local programming to report on a horse that had its hind quarter stuck in a drainage ditch. Fortunately, the horse was ok, but only after we got aerial shots (seriously) of the horse from a channel 2 copter (I'm sure that didn't make the horse nervous or anything!) and several cut ins of local programming to cover this "Breaking News." But, even channel 2 can improve on that stellar reporting and last night's story took the cake.

"A Day in the Life of an Adult Dancer"

It began with reporter Joe Vasquez (who is quitting and going on a 6 month backpacking jaunt with his wife later this summer) standing live in Caligula (a Houston strip club for you young-uns or non-Houstonians) with close ups on a dancer humping the dance floor. The story continued with a wide variety of dancers shown dancing in various stages of undress. Fortunately, for all of us, no blurred screens were required. The closest they got was a topless dancer with her bare back to the camera.

Then the story turned more heartwarming as we met Sin-O-Men (good Lord!) a dancer by night and a mommy by day. The first shots of her were in her daytime glory (a bad terrycloth robe and glasses) bottle-feeding her infant child. Awww.

At this point, I'm thinking, "Ok, well, they are showing that this woman is trying to make ends meet (no puns intended) and she has a child to feed, so good for her." Oh, if only that were all it was...

Flash forward to the next scene where they follow Sin to a local adult clothing boutique where she trys on a variety of sexy outfits for her stage show. Vasquez continues to speak in the background describing the "difficult task" of finding good sexy clothes at a decent price. Alas, our heroine will have to return this particular boddice because it costs $310 and she needs to feed her family. Seriously, that is what they said.

Flash back to Vasquez at Caligula one last time as he wraps up the report and sends it back to the studio, no doubt left to be "thanked" by the dancers for "coverage" of their job. I wonder what his wife thought of that story!

Now, one might expect the story to mercifully end there, but OH NO, not channel 2. They have to add the neat and tidy ending complete with statistics. Upon return to the studio, a stone-faced Linda Lorelle (poor Linda, a really nice woman who probably had a fit about reading this one) reported that there are over 100 strip clubs in Houston. According to club owners, the rate of dancer turnover, and I assume they mean in employment, is very high. She almost sounded sad when she read it. I felt sad for her!

What the hell was that story doing on the TV news? Well, I know what it was doing there. It was there, obviously, for ratings. But, what I mean is where the hell was the story? It wasn't a thorough investigation into the difficulty of life as a dancer. It wasn't a look at why they do it. It may have been a going away gift for Vasquez. We'll never know.

All that we do know is that channel 2 has once agian bottomed itself. I'd say topped but this jouralism doesn't lift you, it sinks you, so I'll stick with bottomed.

This goes in my TV Guide under "Jeers." Thankfully, I'm not Steve Wasserman, but "let me hear from you" anyway.

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