Some of you may remember that I'm going through a hard time with my girlfriend/ex-girlfriend. Well, we broke up over a month ago, she wants her space, find out what she likes to do, etc. That's what I've been wanting for a long time, unfortunately, our communication skills weren't what they should have been. I've taken care of that through readings, etc. (I really want this to work!). She's not ready to say that we're going to get back together, I know I'm going to have to be very patient on that, it may take 2 or 3 months, if not longer. However, she did say that she wouldn't even consider it until I got some help on my temper. Now don't get me wrong, I've never laid a hand on my girlfriend, never would. This is more along the lines of getting mad and throwing the nearest remote control at the wall, screaming, etc. I know I have a problem, and that it needs to be corrected. However, I don't want to go to counseling. I'm wary of them for various reasons (no offense to any counsleors on this BBS). I'm looking to take a anger management class. I'm about to call UT Informal department to see if they have any, but if anyone knows of anything in Austin, or Houston (I'm willing to drive), I'd really appreciate it. Thanks. Now for another bit of advice. If any of you ever find yourself in my situation, be patient. Fortunately, it's not a situation where she wants nothing to do with me, she knows she still loves me, she's just concerned about a few things and rightfully so. So I'm taking this time apart to better myself, just like she's taking the time to better herself. That's what we all should do. Instead of staying in a relationship because it's "comfortable", communicate with your significant other, chances are they feel the same way that you do, and you can both work on the problem without going through the crap I've been going through. It's hard sometimes, but all I have to do is close my eyes and look into the future 6 months when we'll both be living in Houston (hopefully), and in a loving and untrying relationship. Thanks for reading me ramble! ------------------ "Go to hell Costas"-Dave Nelson after sweeping the ABSCAs on NewsRadio visit www.swirve.com
Join the Republican Party. See if that helps. Just kidding. Best of luck with this. PS: You're seriously going to leave Austin-- beautiful, sunny, Austin-- for Houston? Now I know you're crazy!
You might check the local community colleges. Most of them have "Personal Development" or "Life Skills" type classes. Usually they are one or two nights for $20-40, depending on the subject/instructor. In addition to anger management, they might have a getting along with women or Mars vs. Venus type class. Houston also has a thing called Liesure Learning International, with these type of classes. (www.llu.com). Austin might have something similar. Good Luck! ------------------ Stay Cool...
I've recently gone through a similar situation. Just don't put your life on hold for too long, man. That's all I can say. Just make sure that you stay true to yourself and don't sacrifice your happiness for hers. ------------------ The Chuckwagon came, saw, and threw people through windows!
I've recently been through the same situation, but from your girl friend's perspective. If you two were were as close as you seem to make it sound, then trust me, it's just as painful for her as it is for you. I think it's very sweet of you to try to take a class, many men wouldn't even try. Good Luck.
Rocketman95 - If you are in the Houston area at all, I could recommend several counselors that are terrific. My mother is a therapist and I understand that some people have an aversion to them. To be quite honest, I did as well. But, I know of 2 or 3 that are extremely good and very nice. I have anger problems as well although mine takes the form of bottling it up rather than having outbursts. One thing I learned is that managing your anger won't solve the problem. Ultimately, you have to get at the root of the problem and figure out why it is that you are so angry. A very wise person once told me that anger is tantamount to fear and that they are very similar in their response emotionally, physically and mentally. No one is just angry. It always flows from something. Obviously, you have to do what is right for you and I know how tough it can be. In one respect, SirCharlesFan is correct: you must do this for yourself and not for someone else. If you aren't ready to deal with it, no therapy or classes will fix the problem and you will just resent her for making you go through that. Take your time and listen to your instincts rather than your head and, if you want any recommendations of books, therapists or anything else, I'd be happy to help however I can. ------------------ "No one gets out ALIVE!" SaveOurRockets.com
Thanks for the info and advice guys. Trust me, I'm doing this for myself as well as for her. I never realized what I had, and now I know why I don't have it anymore, and what needs to be done to fix it. Thanks again. ------------------ "Go to hell Costas"-Dave Nelson after sweeping the ABSCAs on NewsRadio visit www.swirve.com
Somewhat off the wall, but a buddy of mine had problems with anger, and he started taking Kuk Sul Wan classes (Korean martial arts), and he said it did wonders for him. If that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, I'd take Jeff up on his offer and his advice--it sounds pretty good. If your woman knows your aversion to counseling, this will have the added benefit of really showing your devotion. But if you're gonna spend the bucks on it, you might as well go in with a completely open mind. Either way, I don't know if joining the Republican party will help you here, but you should definitely join the NRA. ------------------ stop posting my damn signature
Pole: martial arts is indeed a good outlet as well, especially if the particular practice includes some type of meditative practice along with the fighting techniques. Asian practices of Tai Chi, Qi Gong, Karate, Kung Fu and even different types of Yoga can combine physical activity with a meditative practice that can be very good for anger. We men relate to anger in physical ways anyhow so it is always good to burn off energy. One of the best remedies for when you are pissed is to go exercise. ------------------ "No one gets out ALIVE!" SaveOurRockets.com
Jeff, To tell you the truth, I know the root of my anger, and I know what will tap into it, etc. It has so much to do with our communication problem. My girlfriend, however, wants something more concrete, which I completely understand. Thanks again everyone. ------------------ "Go to hell Costas"-Dave Nelson after sweeping the ABSCAs on NewsRadio visit www.swirve.com
What you really need is a costco sized bag of cheetos . Eat the whole thing while watching the movie Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore . If you eat the whole thing before the end of the movie , you will be cured of you temper problem . Or if you get mad just clap and count to ten .I think DUKE tried Kung Fu once , But when the instructor said "kick me as hard as you can . DUKE kicked him in the balls and now hes being sued for 2.6 million ------------------ Will Work for Clutch 101 Book
i seriously wouldnt worry about that..dont let any single woman bring you to that point..you may have a temper but she is not helping it..i went out with a girl that was like that ( she trashed my car) anyway i found myself at times stepping down to that level although i never hit her thankfully..i thought maybe it was me but dont place the blame on yourself as she is the one convincing you of that...as hard as it is you should let just let it go man..as hot as she may be ( and i am sure she is) just let it go man.. i am in europe right now..and i walk around looking and i must let you know man there are sooo sooo many women in the world..think of it that way...i mean i have heard in brazil there are 26 women to every man...dont be misled that she is the only....and she may want to make you think that...at times the grass is greener and dont sell yourself short...just try and get over it it will take time but you will find its for the better..please trust me on this!! ------------------ i am scottie brooks
sirhangover, We take equal responsibility for the problems in our relationship. Fortunately, our separation happened when it did, because if it had happened any later, reconciliation would be completely out of the question. We are both probably blaming ourselves more than the other person for the problems, and that's a good thing, IMO. ------------------ Just because you're white and play basketball doesn't mean you're a Matt Bullard clone, despite idiotic accusations to the contrary. visit www.swirve.com
so what happened? I am only advising that you shouldnt always necessarily be so hard on yourself.. you are better than that... ------------------ i am scottie brooks
