so uh, anyone think about their future and gets overwhelmed??

Sometime go watch "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" There's a great monologue in there by Sidney Poitier who is telling his father that he (Sidney) owes him nothing in spite of the great sacrifices the father made. The father, a mail carrier, freely made them out of love for his son and he has no right to hold the son to any particular decision.

The irony of that story in light of your situation is that in the movie Poitier plays an esteemed doctor whose father "only" disapproves of his son's desire to marry a white girl.

Great ground-breaking movie. Maybe watchit with your parents?

You have an intense set of cultural expectations that is hard for me and most of us to relate to. Good luck with it all.

Anything constructive you do with your life is okay. It's your life.

 

xeno,

writing in paragraphs is just the start of any great american success story.

 

You think that's overwhelming, heck, I plan on starting a whole new religion that will make Christianity, Islam, Judaism look like child's play, now that's "pressure". And I'm dead serious, too.

But as the corny saying goes,"You'll figure it out eventually."

 

The worst mistake you can make is trying to live up to other people's expectations. I know exactly how you feel, but I promise you that it is a mistake to try to plan your life around their expectations.

 

Agreed, this is a good point. The fact that your parents had a difficult life, and got by with little money does not mean that you should suffer because of it. It is great that they did it, and overcame it. But those were different times, and you life now.

IMHO
The most importent thing is that you do something you feel good about. You have to life your life, not your parents. Don't try to life up to expectations that you do not share. I think your parents want you to be happy, and if you are not happy being a docter don't become one. If you try to life up to your parents expactations, and become misserable because of it everybody is loses. Try to become happy and your parents will not be disapointed. They will apreciate it when you find a goal in your study and working life(or life in general), and totaly devote yourself to it, even if that is not the goal they had in mind.

 

Whenever I feel like that or when I know that there is a major decision to be made......I pray about it and ask God for guidance. I know what you are going through......I went through it before I started my chocolate company because I had no idea what I wanted to do or what would please my parents most or what it was I was put on this earth to do. I went to school to get all these degrees and it just didnt feel right. I put everything aside and just got on my face before God and prayed......it was the best thing I could ever do. I think spending time in prayer is the way to go.

 

I think about it all the time.



Anyway, as others have pointed out, your parents really just want you to be happy. If they get upset about you not going to medical school, then they haven't realised it yet. But they will. You, on the other hand, have to play your part by finding direction in your own life and making it meaningful. That's tougher than it sounds for a whole lot of us, though, so good luck with that

 

This always works for me as well.

 

Xeno,

Start with figuring out what YOUR expectations are.

 

Want pressure? Look at it from this perspective...

You have 80 some-odd years left in a typical 100 year lifespan, if you're lucky.
Some people worry more about what might happen beyond their lifespan. If there is something beyond that, 80 years is a blip. If there's not something after life, these next 80 will become meaningless to you in a different way.

Have a good day

 

Well...some people just find a rope and a good tree...and puss out of the whole thing. Don't be one of those peeps.

Life is full of challenges. You just need to figure out what you want and, once your sure, give it everything you've got to ensure you make it down that road. If you do that, then you'll be okay. If you flip flop your way through college and are in your last year with an indeciveness about what you want to do, then you could be in trouble.

 

I don't know about that. I did that until the day I graduated, and look at me!

Well, on second thought...

 

Whenever I feel like that or when I know that there is a major decision to be made......

I roll a 12 sided dice. Good luck. Be careful for what you ask for.

 

Keep life simple, be thankful if you wake up in the morning, be thankful if the sun comes up in the morning, be thankful if you have shelter, food and clothing, enjoy your family and friends. Abandon the unrealistic pursuit of materialism now and you'll lead a happy life.

 

Wouldn't you think God would know that Reggie Bush would have no offensive touchdowns through seven games?

 

Do what makes you happy, man. Being happy and satisfied with your career is huge. My buddy's girlfriend went through med school only to end up in pharmacudical sales, where she is happy. Definately don't go to med school to make your family happy or for the financial aspect. I work with MDs and most of them are either pushed in by their families or do it for money. It really shows with the doctors who did it for the right reasons; they are so much better at thier craft.

 

You seriously need to grow up. I'm trying to offer this guy some advice on a serious topic.

 

One word.

Orthodontist.

You work 3.5 days a week for hundreds of thousands a year.

I just gave you the best advice you'll ever get.

 

You seriously need to lighten up. The should've indicated that clearly.

Xenochimera,

At some point, you have to start living life for yourself and not your parents. I've had friends in the same situation as you and they were only truly happy when they made that decision. Of course, all situations are different.

Good luck, buddy.