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Simmons with a funny read, includes comment on '94 Finals

Discussion in 'NBA Dish' started by rocketabc, Jun 5, 2003.

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  1. rocketabc

    rocketabc Member

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    Bill Simmons, who writes for ESPN.com's Page 2, had a funny article on this year's NBA Finals, with comments on the '94 championship, as well, complete with an O.J. Simpson blast:

    At least when the Knicks and Rockets were having that legendary seven-game rock fight in '94, there was a New York team involved for ratings purposes, Hakeem was in his absolute prime, and O.J. had the good sense to hop in his Bronco with AC and drive around during one of the games. I always thought if O.J. had killed himself that night, we never would have known if he did it because he was guilty of killing his wife, or because he couldn't stand to watch another Knicks' 3-pointer ricochet off the backboard. Nobody ever would have known. But that's a story for another time.

    When was the last Finals where nobody knew which team had the best player? Not the '97 Finals, even though Mail Fraud ... er, Mailman won the MVP over MJ (puh-leeeze). Not the '94 Finals,
    because everyone who actually watched basketball knew Hakeem was better than Ewing.

    Simmons is The Man, always with a good laugh. For the rest of the article...

    http://espn.go.com/page2/s/simmons/030604.html
     
    #1 rocketabc, Jun 5, 2003
  2. Easy

    Easy Boban Only Fan
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    Bad ending:

    I'm picking the Nets. And I'm not just picking them. I'm telling you, they're going to win. The team with the best player always wins the title. And I mean, always. You would have to travel all the way back to 1974 -- when the Celtics outlasted Kareem and the Bucks -- to find a Finals where the team featuring the best player didn't end up winning the series.

    So that's what this series comes down to: Kidd vs. Duncan. And as much as I like Duncan, Kidd isn't just knocking on the Pantheon Door right now, he's like Rob Lowe at the end of St. Elmo's Fire, standing outside Demi Moore's apartment, holding a fire extinguisher and screaming, "All right, I'm coming through!!!!!" Nobody's playing better than Jason Kidd right now. Nobody. And that's why I'm going with the Nets in six.

    Bill Simmons always runs his mouth and eats crow.
     
    #2 Easy, Jun 5, 2003
  3. rocketabc

    rocketabc Member

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    Fair enough. But don't forget:

    Note: Just six weeks ago, you might remember me writing that none of the Eastern teams had a chance in the Finals, regardless of who made it from the West. The lesson, as always: I'm an idiot.

    At least he has a sense of humor about it...unlike other guys who are wrong ALL THE TIME and never admit it (i.e. Peter Vescey, Dick Vitale, etc.).

    Simmons is so funny, how can you not like him?
     
    #3 rocketabc, Jun 5, 2003
  4. pgabriel

    pgabriel Educated Negro

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    Before last year's draft, Simmons wrote that picking Yao over Williams would be like Sam Bowie over Jordan. The guy is funny but he is an idiot and Boston homer.

    After last year's world championship debacle, he wrote a column on how the Olympic committee should pick a few stars and then team players. He then proceeds to write that they should have taken Atoine Walker over Elton Brand, because of his reasoning nonetheless. He's funny in more ways than one.
     
    #4 pgabriel, Jun 5, 2003
  5. rocketabc

    rocketabc Member

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    Yeah, but who out of everyone here in the BBS is not a homer for Houston, myself included? I just thought it was cool that the guy was (is) giving Hakeem and the Rockets props for that title in '94 as opposed to idiots like that guy in Fort Wayne (Lame), Indiana (see thread if you don't know what I'm talking about).

    Of course, that Antoine Walker over Elton Brand comment was pretty stupid. But if you go and read his articles, they are laugh-out-loud funny, and he is a big Rockets guy. Moochie's hair is one of his guilty pleasures, and in one of his more recent articles, he ranks Yao Ming 2nd--behind only Tim Duncan and ahead of Shaq and Kobe--as a FRANCHISE guy you would not trade under ANY circumstances, I believe Francis made the Top 20 of that list, as well. Check it out...

    http://espn.go.com/page2/s/simmons/030530.html
     
    #5 rocketabc, Jun 5, 2003
  6. Easy

    Easy Boban Only Fan
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    I didn't say I didn't like him.

    His style is more like the tabloids than the really media (thus, 2nd page): shocking and entertaining rather than intelligent and informative.

    There are a few wrong things in the article just by casual look (e.g. putting Isiah in the same class as Magic, and Gervin in the same class as Stockton). But I like to read him for a good laugh. Never bother to take his takes seriously.
     
    #6 Easy, Jun 5, 2003
  7. rocketabc

    rocketabc Member

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    Agreed. I think that's why they call it editorializing.

    You wouldn't put Isaiah with Magic or Gervin with Stockton?
     
    #7 rocketabc, Jun 5, 2003
  8. pgabriel

    pgabriel Educated Negro

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    rocketabc, I read all of his columns, the guy is funny. Two columns that will really give you an idea of his talent, are his column on the Gold Cup trial in Atlanta, and the Gallery Furniture.com bowl. The Gold Cup was the strip club in Atlanta that was shut down because of its mafia connections. Truly a classic column. I'm sure you can find it in his archives.

    The guy is funny, knowlagable, and a talented writer. He just puts his foot in his mouth. In the column about the Basketaball World Championships, he makes valid points, like the team had too many stars and ball hogs, but then his homerism comes out as he writes they should have picked Antoine Walker. I'm like WTF, I know he didn't just write that. But as I've stated, a read all of his columns for entertainment purposes only.
     
    #8 pgabriel, Jun 5, 2003
  9. rocketabc

    rocketabc Member

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    Yeah, that Gold Club article had me in tears. Helped to relieve the disturbing images of P-Ewing getting a hummer that were being conjured up in my mind. By the way, is anyone else alarmed that HE would be coaching Yao and not someone like Malone or Dream--you know, guys who actually wore Rockets gear AND won rings?

    As for the homerism, I'm pretty sure we were all pretty pissed when a guy like Richard Jefferson (who we traded--BITTER!) was named to the National Team over a guy like Franchise. Unless, of course, you're like the growing % of posters in here who are getting tired of Stevie. I personally like him a LOT. Then again, Jefferson's team IS in the Finals as we speak...
     
    #9 rocketabc, Jun 5, 2003
  10. Easy

    Easy Boban Only Fan
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    Of course not. Magic is a top 5 player in NBA history. Stockton is probably top 10 or at least top 15. What are Isiah and Gervin? Top 25 at best.
     
    #10 Easy, Jun 5, 2003
  11. pgabriel

    pgabriel Educated Negro

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    Isiah is better than Stockton. He has hardware on teams of which he was the best player. Stockton has the better career, but in their prime, its Isiah. Not even arguable.
     
    #11 pgabriel, Jun 5, 2003
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2003
  12. rocketabc

    rocketabc Member

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    I agree totally.
     
    #12 rocketabc, Jun 5, 2003
  13. Easy

    Easy Boban Only Fan
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    OK, I agree Isiah might be a better player in his prime. But if you ask people who are the best 5 point guards in NBA history, Stockton is almost always on the list and Isiah seldom.
     
    #13 Easy, Jun 5, 2003
  14. rocketabc

    rocketabc Member

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    OK, who's your Top 5? Mine are (in order):

    1. Stockton
    2. Johnson
    3. Thomas
    4. Mark Jackson (2nd All-Time in assists, remember)
    5. Kidd
     
    #14 rocketabc, Jun 5, 2003
  15. pgabriel

    pgabriel Educated Negro

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    1. Stockton
    2. Johnson
    3. (I don't blame you for forgeting) The big O
    4. Isiah
    5. Kidd

    Keep in mind, I will take Magic and Oscar way before any of the other guys on this list if I just had one season to win.
     
    #15 pgabriel, Jun 5, 2003
  16. rocketabc

    rocketabc Member

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    OOOOOOOhhh, I DID forget the Big 'O'--my bad. So, then, we pretty much would have identical lists. I would take a guy that AVERAGED a triple-double (Robertson) over 2nd All-Time assists man--more of a complete game, in my opinion. Same reason why Kidd makes the list, even though he's never won anything, really (yet).
     
    #16 rocketabc, Jun 5, 2003
  17. Easy

    Easy Boban Only Fan
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    1. Magic
    2. Stockton
    3. Oscar
    4. Cousy
    5. Kidd
     
    #17 Easy, Jun 5, 2003
  18. xiki

    xiki Member

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    Top 5 1's?

    Magic
    Oscar
    Clyde (Frazier, that is)
    Stockton
    Cooz
     
    #18 xiki, Jun 5, 2003
  19. KingCheetah

    KingCheetah Atomic Playboy
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    Simmons flip flops more than Mary Lou Retton.

    Better than Drexler my arse, when he gets that ring then we'll talk... ;)
     
    #19 KingCheetah, Jun 5, 2003
  20. KingCheetah

    KingCheetah Atomic Playboy
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    Ha! I missed this one:
    Now I love Simmons again...flip flop.
     
    #20 KingCheetah, Jun 5, 2003
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