As you know, I'm married with children... so... no, this is not ME asking. Today, someone (a young female coworker) was talking about this in the hall: should she make a first move? She saw a guy and has seen him a couple of times, and she's somewhat attracted to him. I guess it's his personality, because she says he's cute, but not THAT cute. She said a guy she asked before said that when a woman makes the first move, it takes the pressure off the guy. I'm an old-fashioned kind of guy, so I said "no way; women should never make the first move. They can flirt or make advances, but never the 'first move.' If a woman makes the first move on me, there's something WRONG!" :grin: Should a woman make the first move? No, I won't post photos of the young female coworker.
It depends... When you're a mature adult and you feel like making a move, you just make a move (whether you're a woman or a man). If you're still wrapped in stupid, immature game-playing bull$hit, you wait for the other person to make a move.
I have no problem with a woman making the first move. I think this whole belief that men should do everything is rather outdated and ridiculous. I've had a girl make a first move before, she was repulsive (at least to me) so I just acted dumb and never responded. However I commend her on her courage to make the first move. Here's a question? When a girl asks a guy to ask her out, does that count as a first move? Technically the guy asked the girl out, but upon the girl's request. also are you sure there's no chance for us to see pics of said coworker?
The whole "women should NEVER make the first move" is so freaking antiquated nowadays. Who the eff cares who makes the first move?? It's not going to make me feel like any less of a man if a girl were to approach me and ask me to grab some lunch or coffee or something. If anything, it actually makes me feel MORE in control because I KNOW she's interested in me, and it helps take the edge off when we're on our date. It's 2010, people. Let's start acting like it.
I think courtship would go a lot better if women made moves. It'd ease a small percentage of males from having to over-inflate their egos in facing rejection. Resorting to douchebaggery to feel they're "the MAN", using a full-on barrage of arrogance and aloofness in their approach. A sore loser man upon rejection will say "b**** I didnt want you ANYWAY". And then she'll say all men are jerks, the sisterhood will band together and dog all men and cry together. If guys are so stupid, then why leave it to a stupid man to make a stupid decision on you? Being "read" and wanting specifics isnt really mutually compatible elements. Also, if women REALLY don't like jerkified men, why perpetuate the jerkiness by more lack of involvement? ( Yeah I'ma puss, help my slouch ass out women )
Man, I'd much rather a woman make the first move. I'm a particularly shy kind of guy, so I feel much more comfortable if a woman approaches me.
droxford... so... YES? No, Jontro, I think SHE made the first move there. She made the first move. I think this is more like it. The "subtle hints" and the "advances" are really the first move, but they're so subtle we're dummies and fall for it, making us make "the first move." I knew some of you would vote "yes" just to go against me. LOL!
What kind of move are we talking about here? Leaning over and planting one on the guy in an empty elevator? Asking him out over coffee? Pushing your cart into his at the grocery store so you can start a conversation? What? (yes, I've done all those things in my day)
^ Yes, all those, Señor Replican. Basically the first move would be "beginning the romantic communication with a word or an action, whether it was to ask out, ask for a phone number, ask for a name, etc."
"Excuse me, I seemed to of accidentally bumped my cart into yours. Please don't take this as an indication of how i live my life. Even though I can't seem to navigate a ****ing grocery cart, I assure you I have a much more credible history in my relationships." "Holla holla holla, can I holla?"
Just depends on the situation at hand... There are some men too timid to make any moves whatsoever. If feelings are mutual have the woman help... of course that makes him her b****... but that's the price you pay.
What Pole said. Women always make the first "move"...if they're interested. Females use a "jedi mind trick" to make us think WE are making the first move, but in reality, they plant the seed earlier. They use cleverly disguised tricks to get us guys interested, and we fall for it 99.9% of the time. It seems like this guy falls in the .1% camp. Of course, guys CAN make the first move on a disinterested woman. That's when the phenomenon known as "rejection" happens.
I'll tell you a couple of things. If a girl makes the first move on me and it involves heavy petting and sex very quickly...she's not going to be meeting my Mom. If she introduces herself and is very bubbly that's cool though.
