sex

I was like that in the beginning as well until I started having mixed feelings for my toaster. Needless to say it didn't work out! But all I can say is do what you think is right and make sure you got ur jimmy hat on!

 

Holden

sex is such an interesting thing. we as animals think about sex more often than we do about eating sleeping and breathing combined. I being human have come up with all kinds of different thoughts on my sexual activity at different points in my life. I held off for a long time. I have always been a flirt and stuff, so there was always kooking up, just no sex. I finally deemned one girl worth it. in the end I realised she was not worth it. so I regain my resolve to wait. but not in that born again virginey way. I was just looking for love. evertwhere.
a year and a half later I finally met a chick that made me weak enough as to not resist. she turned out to be an even worse choice than the first. a bad choice only because she is crazy, AND has some wierd power over me. in short we still get together even these 8 years later. as much as she was a bad choice I next just stumbled into the greatest relationship of my 27 years. the sex was often and regular. I mean well beyond lust, and also very comfortable. after here, and yes, I still dont know quite why I broke up with her some times(wait yes I do). so after her i was 21 and fairly normal. still resisting gratuitus sex, or random sex
but at this point my resistance was surpassed by a stronger force. CURIOSITY. I had never had a one night stand so I decide to try one. PS this dosnt work in a small town. especially when the chick decides your the greatest, and DOESNT go home to Miami like she was suposed to. I eventually got the one night stand thing down pat, and also the %&*#$ buddy thing down well.
even now 9 or so years since i started messing with this sex stuff I have been at my most liberal recently. I think it was my x that made me appreciate the single life so much more.


a theory of mine and of a friends you should keep in mind.

Mine: some day you will have to tell your future wife how many woman you have been with. so get a number in your head that you think you would be comfortable telling her, and dont waste them. infact make shure if you sleep with a chick for whatever reason do your best to get an encore, and many more. its about maintaining your sexual sanity, while keeping the numbers down. Efficiency my friend holden, Efficiency.

My buddy: every guy id born with a finite number of "lays" much like a woman is born with all the eggs she will ever have and stores them in her ovries. every screw you pass up you will never get back. its wasted. much like every time a woman ovulated that specific egg is gone forever. his theory. get all you can, and know what you are saying no to.

I should also point out that he is an unwed father of 2. to two different women. he also has NO regrets, and complete peace of mind. not to mention 2 awsome kids.

see, now I have shared too much too

- the smiley of solidarity

 

Holden:- One of the things that sets us aside from the animals is our Will. In America sexual morals have decayed ever since WW11. It can't be helped by most, as we don't know how to exarcise our will when we are exposed to low moral standards, by our Family,Our Friends, the Media our Education and our Government. Because we have never been taught it was correct to be Morral.

 

I have absolutely no research to back this up or any facts to go along with my arguments, so dont get worked up by this...but i think to say that in the past 100 years that our entire society has become so much more immoral than every other generation before us is absolutely crazy. I think the media has just magnified everything as far as crimes, sex, and drugs. I just dont see how so suddenly a world of people could change. In the past, I believe that everyone just kept quiet about sex, it was hush hush and now a lot more people are open about it.

 

Holden. Bottom line. If you're regretting the sex you're having, stop having it. The pleasure of the sex isn't worth the drag of the regret.

There is nothing so magic about the first time that, once it's gone, no other encounter matters. If you would have felt bad as a virgin having loveless sex, the regrets you have from non-virgin experiences should only strengthen your resolve.

And if you gotta think about it as born again virginity or whatever, that's not so cheesy as to avoid doing what you gotta do to live your life in a shameless way.

I never had any qualms about the morality of sex, except that it always be consensual and that I always be respectful of my partner. I've been having sex, in and out of love, for over twenty years. I'm not trying to go all Wilt Chamberlain or anything, but I've been around. If I had some of that stuff to do over, I'd do it different. The fact that I didn't do it right the first time, doesn't lessen my resolve to do better in the future. On the contrary, it strengthens it.

You're gonna be alright, man. You don't need your parents' rule book or your church's. You need to listen to yourself and never give up on doing the right thing, as best as you can understand it. Be Spike Lee listening to advice from Ossie Davis. Do the right thing. That is all.

 

I never had sex before I met my wife...but we did have sex *a lot* before marriage. It's not like I didn't have opportunities, but I passed them up for one reason or another.

I like to think that it makes it easier to be faithful to her, but I really don't know. Perhaps it would be just as easy if I had had sex a few times...I'll never know. It does feel nice to *know* that I don't have any sexual diseases, even without being tested.

I guess looking back on it I don't really regret passing up on those chances too much. It's not like sex is so important or mind-blowing that having it with one particular person would have changed my life for the better. I mean come on! Insert tab A into slot B (or in some of the opportunities, slut B ). However, there is the potential, be it kids or or STDs or crazy exes, for sex with the wrong person to really, seriously F up your life.

My theory? Obviously based on how well it worked for me, but never have sex unless you are sure it's with the right person. I'd liken it to going skydiving or bungee jumping with a company you don't trust. The upside is pretty good, but the downside is pretty damn scary.

Oh, and for solidarity...

 

<i>"why can't I get just one kiss why can't I get just one kiss there'd be some things that I wouldn't miss but I look at your pants and I need a kiss why can't I get just one screw why can't I get just one screw believe me I know what to do but something won't let me make love to you why can't I get just one f*ck why can't I get just one f*ck must have something to do with luck but I've waited my whole life for just one..."</i> - Violent Femmes

<i>"Cause I... think sex is overrated too."</i> - Ugly Kid Joe

From a female perspective, I just wonder why guys hold out for a while and then get so desperate they go for the first thing available - even if you really "can't stand her". Just because often we're not aware of the guy's perspective of what's going on and end up getting hurt emotionally. So, if you're going to do anything with "no strings attached", at least make sure both parties understand that. Off my soapbox.

 

Dammit I love the Onion.

http://www.theonion.com/onion3829/american_teen.html

 

Sex is good !!!!

If both parties are consensual, do it !!!

Don't beat yourself up over it, sometimes sex is great, sometimes good, sometimes average and sometimes bad.

Thank God I grew up before Aids.....



DD

 

I dont see sex and morality in the same boat. But there is a certain degree of responsibility one needs to face due to the various consequences that can arise.

Make sure both parties are into it.

oh yeah, and be careful.....1 in 5 people out there have HSV (the gift that keeps on giving).

 

The thing you have to realize, is that guys reach their sexual peak at around 18-22 years old. That means your best performance is going to be now. It's been my experience that they more chicks you bang, the more you learn, and the better you get.

Chicks are all different in that they get off on different things. I always incorporate moves I learned in the past with girls I'm doing now. I've heard things like, "Nobody's ever done that to me before," and "damn, what did you just do to me." The more moves you learn now, the better the sex will be when you are married. There's no better feeling for a guy than knowing that you can make another girl come at will.

Also, just as an example, I have turned my ex-girlfriend, who I broke up with last October into a f-buddy just based on my skills in the sack. I get booty calls sometimes at 1-2AM, grab some clothes for work the next day, hop in my truck, do her all night long, then go to work after like 1 hour of sleep. It's nice having a girlfriend that lives with her parents. She doesn't know what the hell goes on after midnight.

 

Your girlfriend is a very lucky lady. You stud.

 

I'm not going to tell you my story, since my wife's privacy is involved. Not having the story will weaken the advice that is based upon it, but that's the breaks. Don't listen to Baqui (especially: he's cheating on his girlfriend right now), Dada, etc. They choose to be blind or numb to the aftershocks of their conduct; don't follow them -- especially considering you don't seem the type to be numb to anything.

The truth is that if you find something to be regrettable and destructive now, it'll be the same later. Your wife may well feel the same. Sex is not some magical thing; your soul will not be bonded to some stranger for life as a result. But, you may well find you've sold yourself cheaply, that you've compromised yourself and gotten nothing in return. If you are looking for some fulfillment, have you found it in passing sexual relationships? If you have, why are you still looking? And, if you haven't, why would you think it'd work in the future?

(Btw, if you think I'm advocating a permanent sexual relationship in marriage as an answer to your troubles, I'm not. I think you'd be just as dissatisfied. From what I've read from you it seems you are always trying to find some external thing to satisfy you while the problem and its solution are wholly internal. But then, abstinence won't make you happy either, so what are you to do?)

 

Oh my Lord -- I somehow accidently stumbled into the Penthouse forum. The only thing missing is the horny cheerleaders.

 

That's nothing. You should see this: the mother of all threads: 69 pages long:


Link to Sorority Thread

 

Dear Penthouse,

I never thought I'd be writing you a letter like this, but then again I didn't know I'd meet a set of sex starved triplets either. It all started on hot summers day as I was driving down a backroad when I saw a car broke down up ahead. I pulled over to see if they needed a jump, little did I know it would be me that would be jumped.

Wait a minute.... I must have hit the wrong bookmark. Ok lets see, maybe this submit reply button takes me back out.

 

I used to think that I would have no problem waiting to have sex until I got married, but now I'm not so sure.

Yes, sad to say, that I am still a virgin and not the studmuffin that Baqui is , but I came really damn close of losing the virginity in the last serious relationship I had which was oh before I started posting on this site!

I believe that if 2 people really love each other, then it shouldn't matter if they are having sex before they get married. My sister lived with her husband before they got married for a couple of months. I thought my dad was going to freak over it, and he even threatened not to go to the wedding (he did come to it).

However, I DO believe that sex should be considered a treasured and highly emotional thing. It shouldn't be something that is taken lightly. Personally, it sickens me to hear people brag about having sex when there is no real love behind the act or no bond has been formed before they fornicate. However, that is me and maybe I'm an old-fashioned, a weirdo, or both.

 

Let's talk about sex, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex

Let's talk about sex for now to the people at home or in the crowd
It keeps coming up anyhow
Don't decoy, avoid, or make void the topic
Cuz that ain't gonna stop it
Now we talk about sex on the radio and video shows
Many will know anything goes
Let's tell it how it is, and how it could be
How it was, and of course, how it should be
Those who think it's dirty have a choice
Pick up the needle, press pause, or turn the radio off
Will that stop us, Pep ? I doubt it
All right then, come on, Spin

Let's talk about sex, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex

Hot to trot, make any man's eyes pop
She use what she got to get whatever she don't got
Fellas drool like fools, but then again they're only human
The chick was a hit because her body was boomin'
Gold, pearls, rubies, crazy diamonds
Nothin' she ever wore was ever common
Her dates heads of state, men of taste
Lawyers, doctors, no one was too great for her to get with
Or even mess with, the Prez she says was next on her list
And believe me, you, it's as good as true
There ain't a man alive that she couldn't get next to
She had it all in the bag so she should have been glad
But she was mad and sad and feelin' bad
Thinkin' about the things that she never had
No love, just sex, followed next with a check and a note
That last night was dope

Let's talk about sex, baby (sing it)
Let's talk about you and me (sing it, sing it)
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let's talk about sex (come on)
Let's talk about sex (do it)
Let's talk about sex (uh-huh)
Let's talk about sex

Ladies, all the ladies, louder now, help me out
Come on, all the ladies - let's talk about sex, all right
Ladies, all the ladies, louder now, help me out
Come on, all the ladies - let's talk about sex, all right

(Yo, Pep, I don't think they're gonna play this on the radio
And why not ? Everybody has sex
I mean, everybody should be makin' love
Come on, how many guys you know make love ?)

Let's talk about sex, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex

 

I agree with a lot of what Batman said.

The deal with Sex is, of course it's fun, and feels great. It takes a great amount of willpower not to have it, when you know you have the opportunity, and even more willpower when you get in situations where you wouldn't have to put out any effort at all.

Just think of it like this. It will be fun for a while, but it sounds like you'll feel bad a lot longer. The guilt always lasts longer.

Sex often complicates things, and brings up additional feelings either of attachment, regret, jealousy when the other person moves on, or insecurity when they aren't attached, feeling guilty for them when you aren't as attached and it hurts their feelings etc. So while it may be hard not to do it, it could end up saving a world full of hassle that most people don't need in their lives. There are some people who love creating drama for themselves, and actually enjoy being stressed and in dramatic situations.

Of course if the Sex is in a serious relationship situation where this stuff isn't an issue, or has already been worked through ahead of time then, you have to make that decision for yourself.

Again it's hard to say no, and hard to not have sex, but think of the guilt.

And finally don't under rate Masturbation.