well, so I went on a lunch date on saturday. It was my first date with this nice young lady (we are both late 20s ). we had talked twice on the phone for about 2 hours each time. however other than these calls this was the first time i spent time with her socially. so, the date went well. probably too well. I stayed at her place and we ended up having "the sex" several times. now I dont have a problem with what we did, however this is new ground for me. I have had a few one night stands, but they are different. those start at a bar or party, or whatever, and there is rarely ever any intent on spending more time together. This is something I CAN deal with. The problem I face now is that all the fun of "pursuing" is gone. Also, isn't what she(we) did a bit slutty. Is this REALLY the first time she has done this(of cource she said she had never done this before)? I mean, where do we go from here? sure back to bed works but for how long?? any way, here is to my first 27 hour "first date" any advice or shared experience is appreciated. thanks
i don't know.. but is "the sex" reference from friends?? doesn't chandler say "having all the sex?" is that where you got that?? or am i reading way too much into it!??
I dont know about friends. "the sex" is just a funny way to refer to sex used best when talking about others or telling a story. I firsted started using the term back in HS, so that was pre 1993. I know it was used alot in my freshman year at URI. 1993-4 It is possibly from friends?? but thats not the point. I am a man cunfused. I need to use my head more than my........ next time I will tell you all that much. If I screwed up a perfectly good (potential) relationship just to "get some" than I am dissapointed with myself. edit: WOW houstone, that is an AMAZING 1,000 th post DICK
And you are an idiot for saying that. So, let me get this straight. You pursue someone for the purpose of sex. You get it. Now, you don't know if you should pursue a relationship because she might be a slut. Maybe she thinks the same thing about you! Man, sometimes I think women are damned if they do, damned if they don't.
If you have sex with her again, try to look at your relationship first and determine if you want to be with her for the long run. I did it when I was 16, and the girl I was with told me her doctor had informed her she was pregnant. Luckily, (very, very luckily), she was either lying or it was a false alarm and she wasn't pregnant after all. I'm telling you...it's been 3 years, and I learned my lesson. I'm not taking off my clothes and hopping in bed with a girl I hardly know until the night I tie the knot. Yeah, it sounds like I'm trying to be holier-than-Thou, but the fact is, it was a horrible mistake for someone as young as me. I'm just saying...be careful, man.
I had sex on the first date once when I was 17. We ended up dating for three years. Six years after break up, we're still best friends. It can happen.
naah Jeff, its not like that. I am going to pursue a relationship with her. After all that was my first intention. I am just new to actually succeding so easily. I wasnt trying to get any lovin untill it became clear that we were heading that way. as lunch became drinks and then she asked me to stay at her house. only after we had been in bed for hours did the idea of sex really become a possibility. and yes Im sure she thinks Im a slut. that bothers me too. hell I kinda feel like a slut right now. So both of us are slightly freaked out by our actions and I just want to know how this affects relationships. or has affected the relationships of anyone willing to share their experiences. and yes the double standard placed on woman is unfair. that is why I had a (we) in that first post. It is also why I am only sharing this with a few thousand of my imaginary friends on the internet that will never meet her and never have a chance of Damning her for her actions. more thoughts?
Dude, Why complain, and why can't girls like sex too? Maybe she thought you were worth it.....of course now she knows !!! Just go with the flow, don't over analyze it, enjoy it while you can. Sex is good.....NEVER underestimate the value of sex. D a D a k o t a
Good stuff VOR. I get where you are coming from. Why not just discuss it with her and see what she thinks? Nothing better than starting out being honest. finalsbound: You know, they do have birth control options available, right?
VOR - I'll try to tell you about it from the girl's point of view. I don't think I was ever thought of as a "slut" but I also had a few experiences like yours when I was younger, too. To be honest, I never found that early sex precluded having a decent relationship. I mean, you know that you're eventually going to end up in the bedroom anyway, so what's the big deal? I understand that you like the thrill of the chase, but that only lasts for a short time. Eventually, you'll have to find deeper meaning in your relationships or you're doomed to the life of a serial monogamist. If you do want to try a relationship with this woman, just go ahead an act as if your first date was a normal first date and proceed from there. It doesn't have to be awkward unless you make it that way. On the plus side, at least you know there's some chemistry there!
Speaking as someone who had sex on the first date, and since been with that woman for 18 years, I have one question: Can someone remind me what first date sex is like? I've forgotten!
dying of aids in ten years My g/f and I had sex on the first real date. We both really wanted to wait. I love her more than ever now. Talking to a girl and being honest and upfront helps tremendously. Talk about it and see where you would like to take it in the future.
What does that make him? Don't worry about it .. .. if you looking for something serious and **** . .. let her know. . .she'll say yea or nay If she says she want her freedom . . just get the sex If she says she down with it . .. but cheats. .then she a slut just get the sex and not your heart never give ya heart for at least a year Rocket river
SEX AND LOVE - never confuse them This is classic bull**** OVER ANALYZATION!!! it is how she TREATING YOU NOW! GO WITH THE FLOW it will tell you how to procede Use ya head and COMMON ****ING SENSE!!! As for the assine AIDS comment ]Everyone does not have it all sex does not transmit it and there are preventative measure I HATE WHEN PEOPL TRY TO SCARE PEOPLE AND BULLY THEM TO ACT LIKE THEY WANT THEM TO ACT It is about being responsible... So SACK UP .. .and GROW SOME (balls) See where it goes. . . Guard ya heart. . . DON'T FANTASIZE about her and the 2.5 kids. . . not yet anyway Set your Expectations to she is nice. .you nice. . . the big thing about this is . . .it elimiates to pressure of WHEN WILL I GET SOME!! You got it. . not you can relax and focus on the relationship Rocket River
Yeah, that's pretty cool, you had a great opening day, but what's your batting average going to be over the course of the season
