Here I am, anxiously waiting for Thursday. My lawyer called me and told me that the ex and her lawyer are trying to bump the date to July. He said he's already filed the paperwork to get the case heard on the original rescheduled date and is just waiting for an answer. They sure know how to play their games, don't they...and speaking of games... On Sunday, when I dropped off my son after taking him to see Star Wars, the ex told me what a wonderful job I'm doing with our son, and that she really was hoping that we could work things out. She says that she wants to put him in a daycare for "social interraction" for about an hour each day while she has him...funny how that works out, seeing as she has college for about an hour each day during the summer. I guess she figures better with someone else than with me and my gf's 3 kids...Then she said that she doesn't want to have to go to standard visitation (every other weekend) when my son turns three and maybe we could work something out...LMAO!!! Someone sounds a little scared to me. Damn right we're not going to standard visitation, but I'm sure as hell not going to take her on her good word. I want it written in the decree to protect my son as well as myself. She's also saying that he should be almost ready to start spending nights with me. Sounds like she's trying to throw me a bone here. It amuses me that she completely denied me any shot in hell of having a night with my son until the decree mandated it. She said she doesn't understand how it got to the point of having to go back to court...Again, I LMAO!!! Maybe it's because she gave me less than minimal time with my son. It's so obvious that she's trying to pull on some heartstrings. She obviously forgot that when I get backed into a corner, I'm not the passive, loveable guy that she pushed around for so long. I know I may sound a little bitter, but it annoys me to think that that she thinks she can still manipulate me like this. I know that the nice thing to do would be to take her at her word, but I've tried that before, and that's how I got into this mess in the first place. If I let my guard down and trust her at her word, I'll be asking for prayers for the rest of my life, while my son loses even more time with me. I know that God has helped me to see what I need to do, and has given me the strength to see it through to the end. Again, I want to thank you all for your prayers and thoughts from a few weeks ago. You know I'll keep you updated.
She may be seeing some of the writing on the wall. People always hope that the person on the other side from them doesn't have a real good attorney...I say that's the best thing in the world that can happen if you're in the right. Perhaps her attorney is waking her up to some of the realities. Perhaps she's tired of spending more and more money on this...perhaps she's just tired of the whole thing. But you're right...don't take her at her word. You need to get this taken care of and put in writing with a judge signing off on it. Best of luck!!! So glad to hear you got to spend some good time with your son this weekend. That's sooooo important!
Also, keep her in limbo. Let her think there ~might~ be a chance. Make as much peace as possible and then get what YOU want... reasonably. Otherwise, you'll drag this on for years to come.
FT, you should really check out the novel Man and Boy by Tony Parsons... http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/A...2003764/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_1/104-1026642-0763132
Ooops...sorry, allow me to clarify something. She didn't hint at us working things out between us. She was referring to working out visitation agreements. Sorry for the confusion. ...you are right about keeping her confused. She doesn't know that I know about her college schedule...and she knows that I feel bad in doing things like this. I think that's why she plays on those emotions. What she doesn't realize is that when talking about my son, he comes first...period.
FT You have the right idea. Its best to ignore any empty promises or attempts she makes. My friend recently went through something similar. His ex agreed to give him more visitation "to avoid having to go back to court", he agreed and was happy he was getting more time with his son. The next week surprisingly he gets court papers. I will continue to pray for you and your son. Things will work out for the best. I think she is worried now that you are fighting back and she does not hold all the cards.
Updating mysituation...first off, the trial date has been reset...I don't know the details, but I'll find out first thing in the morning. I hear this after a 2 1/2 hour conversation with my ex, the first 2 hrs and 20 minutes being amicable and the last ten her losing it and me remaining calm, cool, and collected. She was asking me to postpone the trial, because it was her last day with her kids in school...end of the year celebratrions and what not. After discussing why we were even going to court in the first place, she came to the conclusion that we could solve all the problems without having to take it to court. It sounded promising, being able to agree on things in mediation without having to ask the judge if we can do this...granted, she told me that the material things I was asking for were alomost all given away or sold already, I told her that spending equal time with our son was my main concern. She said that it sounded like we were going to be able to work things out...as long as I dropped the lawsuit. YEAH RIGHT!!! I told her that the best I could do was postpone it until we have a chance to try to work it out on our own. If we worked it out, then of course I would drop the lawsuit. She didn't agree to that. She compared it to having to bargain with a gun pressed to her head. I told her that this is how I feel every time that we disagree about visitation the way the decree is written now, and now that we are following in to the letter as per her wishes, she can't use it against me. She was very resilient, and I told her that I can't drop the lawsuit, because if things go south, and I've dropped the lawsuit, I've given up everything I worked for. She couldn't understand that and in the end, she lost it and told me how I've turned her life upside down, and pointed out all the bad things I've done to her, not mentioning anything she's done to me. Like I said, I kept my cool, and advised her to do the same. I didn't throw all the stuff she's done to me in her face, except trying to get her to understand my position in protecting my son and myself. In the end, she would rather go to court and risk losing half of everything she owns (not that I would take it, but legally, I'd be entitled) than agree to 50/50 custody of our son, and my possessions that she still has...she has so much pride that she'soing to sink herself. I don't understand her. I know I'm not wrong in not dropping the suit. If she was so confident that we were going to work something out, why would she be so concerned about me taking her for half of everything??? Well, regardless, the date was bumpeed, and I don't know why yet, but I'm hoping that in this time while we are waiting for a trial date, that we can meet with our lawyers and try to come up with a plan that is fair to my son. To be perfectly honest, I think when she finds out that I want to cut out child support with a 50/50 custody agreement, she'll completely go back on her word. Why would I ask to cut out CS? She's making more than I am, and if we both have him equal amount of time, what sense would it make to pay her anything...well, I just wanted to throw the latrest development out there for you guys to see. Thanks for listening.
