So I got a new roommate a couple of weeks ago and he's ok for the most part so far, but there have been little things bothering me. For one, while he is not really messy, he has yet to take out the trash. I let it sit there full for a couple of days last week and no joy. I ended up taking it out. Also he's younger than I am (23 to my 29) and seems a little new to living out of his parents place. He has this 20 year old buddy that seems to be here a good chunk of the weekends. I walked in last night and they were watching TV, with the buddy just stretched out on the sofa making himself at home. His shoes weren't on so I guess no big deal, but it just seemed a little weird. Then today I got in and the his friend showed up a few minutes later with the key and said he was waiting for my roommate to get home in a few. Not trying to be a jerk, but I don't really know the kid. Plus there are other little things like leaving cabinets open after grabbing something or forgetting to turn the light off. Oh and last week, I got home in the evening and the door was unlocked with no one there. I asked him about it and he said he must've forgot, but it was no big deal to him. So the question is, am I being a douche getting a little annoyed or not? What is the etiquitte on these things? I mean the dude pays to live there too, but I don't know if he's extending the same courtesies I would to him. Thoughts?
I think, like you said, he might just be new to sharing his living space and unaware that some of this stuff bugs you. Talk to him about it.
My opinion of roommates is don't have one unless you have to. There is always going to be something they do to annoy you, big or small.
How well do you know the roommate? I think you're about half and half, just try talking to him. Leaving the door unlocked is pretty bad.
Yeah I'm going to talk with him. I don't know him all that well. Kind of a last minute thing. My old roommate had to move out sooner than expected and we did a quick search. Trust me if I could afford it, I would have my own place right now. I'm trying to save some cash though.
Most of that sounds like the typical pain of having roommates. Leaving the door unlocked is a big deal but unintentional and there's not much you can do. His friend having a key is definitely a dealbreaker ladies.. I'd have a serious talk with him about that.
That doesnt sound to bad. I'd try to get to know him better than bring up these things once you guys reach the friend stage but if things get worse than you probaly have to bring it up....
I lived with two of my best friends for ~2.5 years a few years back. I only had one real issue with them and it was about leaving the door unlocked, which pissed me off to no end. I told them flat-out, "Lock the effing door or I'm moving out and leaving both your asses with half the bills and rent rather than only a third." Problem solved.
My advice... 1. You guys need to talk and set some ground rules. 2. Do NOT be adversarial. Talk to the guy and be calm. Tell him that there is not really anything wrong, but you want to get things out there before there is a problem. 3. Solicit him to make suggestions. Make sure he knows that you don't want to unknowingly do things that bother him. This will make sure he knows that his feelings are of value to you as well. 4. Make sure that he knows that the ground rules are a two way street. They apply to you as much as they do to him. This approach has always worked very well for me.
Seconded. You should always sit down and discuss basic ground rules before taking on a room mate. Also, certain things (like no unchaperoned visitors in the house, no overnight stays for friends/visitors without prior permission, etc.) should be spelled out in the rental agreement.
Door unlocked and unknown person having key- boot him out. Other stuff- you needed to set some ground rules. It may not be too late. Always strike while the iron is hot when forming relationships.
Easier said than done man. As for the ground rules, yeah we talked some, but I guess I didn't think about some of this stuff. I'm going to talk with him later and get on the same page.
This! My roommate always does this! I'm 6'2'' and my roommate is like 5'8''. Two days ago I hit my head washing the dishes. Most of the time I really don't care, but that time it got me and I told him about it. Don't worry about the small things. But when it comes to things like leaving the door unlocked, lights on, guests, etc I would let him know.
