This was a close one. With the kids throwing up throughout Sunday night/Monday morning, and my wife somewhat under the weather as well, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to catch the game. I didn't even have tickets until I snatched up a pair off eBay Thursday. Thank you, eBay! Turns out the game itself wasn't exactly close, but let's focus on what's important here. It was my brother's birthday and I was determined to give him a Houston-flavored gift. And of course I didn't pay anywhere near the face value, but he doesn't need to know that. Thank you, eBay! It's good to have Brother WAG around - he does important things like telling me the artists of the various songs playing during timeouts. Stripes, Vines, some sort of Queens of something? It was then that I realized I have officially checked out. Two kids, full-time job, listen to the news on the radio - don't know any popular music anymore. But I bet I'd do a pretty good job if they played children's songs at halftime or something. (Yes, I believe that is "Here we go round about" performed by The Wiggles.) As usual in Clip Central, there were plenty of Houston fans in the house. Cheers for Yao. I think a lot of people were disappointed that Wang was waived before the Rockets came to town. That matchup always brings great cheers. There were a couple of guys in retro Yao jerseys (huh???) and full Chinese Opera Mask face paint (http://www.paulnoll.com/China/Opera/China-opera-example.html). Somehow these gentlemen did not make their way onto the jumbotron. So, yes, there were lots of Houston fans, but only one who rolled up in his Ford Taurus LX with Texans Helmet Antenna Ball from Jack-in-the-Box. That's what I'm talking 'bout. The place was well near empty. Pretty sad, even by Clipper standards. No one booed Taylor - seemed like nobody cares anymore. But Piatkowski got a large ovation when he entered the game. A few boos interspersed, but clearly in the minority. It was fitting to see his first points as a Rocket come against the Clippers. What the paper didn't tell you is that this three pointer came just after some guy won a dinner at Outback Steakhouse for correctly naming Pike as the Clipper's 3-pointer record-holder. Kind of cool. Rice and Pike were both in the game in the second quarter. There was an embarrassing moment when they were covering each other, but neither seemed to know which of them was on offense, which was on defense, or indeed who was on which team. I'm not sure they knew where one of them ended and the other began. Eternity - a fragrance by Calvin Klein. Padgett made somewhat of an impact. For some reason he decided to take the ball upcourt after a rebound and then threw it, behind himself, to a Clipper for an easy score. Um, dude, assists only count when you pass the ball to YOUR OWN TEAMMATE. A little later I think he accidentally poked Drobnjak - the Drobber - in the eye. Drobber got all up in his face and got T'd up. Good comedy. (Wasn't so funny when the Drobber made two - two! - 3-pointers in the second half, of course). Yao seemed to be sleepwalking in the second half. One of the few times he touched the ball, he held it near his hips and Corey Maggette reached in for a jump ball. Um, Yao, you're about 100 feet tall. How bout keeping the ball over your head or something? But then I'm no coach. The scary part was, Maggette almost won the jump. That guy has more hops than the Anheuser-Busch factory down the freeway. I started to doze off myself during the third. The only note I wrote on my pad was "UGLY." And speaking of ugly, did I mention the Drobber? I thought his face was going to break the jumbotron. And speaking of Drobby and the jumbotron, when the announcer said "Please turn your attention to the jumbotron for tonight's sports bloopers," Drob did just that. His teammates are in the huddle and he's looking up at the jumbotron. And for the record, the announcer used the term "Matrix Screen" instead of jumbotron. Ridiculous - it's like Kleenex at this point. Everyone knows what the jumbotron is, even if it has a different brand. I think the guy just thought the term "Matrix" would grab people's attention. Sort of like that new show "threat matrix" - tell me that title has nothing to do with an increasingly sucky sci-fi trilogy. Did you know you can be called for an offensive foul after a whistle? I don't know what the original call was - maybe travelling - but when others went back down the court, Francis half-heartedly continued with his drive. The defender flopped like a flounder, and the whistle blew again. Weird stuff. Rockets went into a zone in the fourth. And by zone I mean they issued engraved invitations to the Clippers that read, in part, "Dear Sir or Madam: Please do us the extreme favor of proceeding directly to the netted basket and depositing into it your official NBA basketball. Otherwise, do find an open spot on the floor and deliver the ball in an arching fashion into said basket." What I'm trying to say is, the zone didn't last too long. The game was pretty much decided, anyway, and eventually the Clippers sent in the bench. I mean the actual bench - maybe the Rockets would trip on it or something, I don't know. Lastly, a word about the halftime show. I was all psyched for the preschooler team competition they've had in years past. Instead, there was some chick on a Yao-sized unicycle flipping ceramic bowls from her feet onto her head. It was pretty impressive, even if it was completely preposterous. Meanwhile, a guy returning from the bathroom a few rows down nearly fell into the seat below him, prompting Brother WAG to point out that there's a little girl on a 10-foot unicycle flipping bowls onto her head and this guy can't even keep his balance while sitting down. Good stuff - that's why we keep him around.
I saw some footage today of the second half. Yao did look a bit tired. Though I am not complaining, he more than made up for it in the first half. It's about time the Offense showed up, last night was the first 100+ game for the Rockets since opening night.
It's kinda funny but I think that woman with the unicycle is being booked everywhere Yao and the Rockets go. She was there last year when US played China in Oakland. I remember seeing her on League pass at halftime for the Toronto vs Houston game this year. Now she's halftime entertainment at the Clippers vs the Rockets. BTW. she was very entertaining the last time I saw her. Sad to say but probably more interesting than the actual game.
Good report, thanks WAG. Next time though, make sure you tell us exactly what is going on inside the Rox huddle. Tranmerica is a genious at pulling this off.
I hope you are you kidding A-Train - "It'll have to do . . ."??? Give the guy some credit for a well-written and witty post. That was brilliant WAG and the commentary was great. You need to post in here more often.
/in my best Foghorn Leghorn voice it was a joke son, get it? a joke.. good read Wag, amusingly written, not spectacular, but then again, neither was the game so thats understandable.
No offense taken and thanks for the kind words. next up: Christmas with the Lakers and plenty of Kobe/prison jokes.
WAG, JAG, MacBeth. Ok, now I'm confused... Wait, MacBeth/JAG is in Toronto? When MacBeth is drunk his writing style is eerily similar to WAG's sober style! Err, maybe JAG was orginally from Boston, hence Dad's favorite team??? Never mind... Gotta love the Jack heads:
