Refereeing perspective

Just wanted to discuss this somewhere and wanted to get everyone's thoughts on this, maybe as (past) referees yourselves. Aside from the incompetence and inconsistency, there are things referees do and or I have done that or not necessarily the right thing to do or ojective, but I think everyone should understand.

For example: when two players get at it, physically, but not over the top then I'll let it go. They go at each other, hit each other maybe from time to time when the other goes up for the shot or backs down, but when the rest of the players are not physical and you have a feeling it won't spill over and it's just limited to those two, I see no problem with it.

Now of course when this happens you will have situations where each of them has the right to complain a non-call. Since they are both doing it to each other, I feel like stop whining because I'm also it letting it go on the other end where the complaining party is the one fouling. Players like to forget that part.

Then sometimes they will get frustrated about the non-calls and do note that most are a mild bump, touch or whatever and nothing over the top. The clear fouls will be called. The non-calls leads to reckless driving to the basket trying to get a foul called. This I will not stand for, which is why players who look for fouls get no mercy from me. It rarely happens in the amateur league, in my experience at least. Just saying I understand a referee's thinking if I reffed in the NBA.

Even in the NBA I don't mind if referees don't give it to someone looking for a call. Some of those fouls Harden gets, no way I would call them even if he did get fouled. That is why I understand if referees don't call certain fouls and a reputation has consequences. If you're known as a talker / whiner, flopper during a game I ref, I will take that into account.

I'm also less likely to believe a player for example who gets hit when he snaps his head back or takes a three falling down. As a rule I will also rarely call a foul if a player screams and-1, especially if he's known to do that. Or even worse, the screaming "Hey" or whatever like Tracy McGrady used to do. He would just start yelling regardless of being hit or not. Luckily in amateur basketball this doesn't happen that often.

This leads me to my second point: if you whine about almost every single call, on offense or on defense, I'm less inclined to call them. On defense I mean if you act like you didn't commit a foul (Draymond Green). On offense you need to accept that I and the other referees will miss things.

Players shouldn't be surprised if throughout their history with a certain referee there will be a bias and tendency to maybe not call everything. And I'm perfectly fine with this to be honest. Showing up a referee or just whining all the time, should have consequences. Referees are human and they will try to make calls objectively, but there's a human aspect to it.

Thoughts? Feel free to share your experiences.