A man goes to Mexico for vacation to see the bullfight in the arena. He watches a few fights and then goes to a nearby restaurant. The manager serves him and gives him a menu of all this stuff he's never heard of before. He can't decide so he asks the manager, 'Well, give me the special of the day please, or whatever you think is good.' The manager goes away and in 5 minutes he comes back with these 2 round things on a platter. The guy says 'wow! fast service'. The manager says, 'enjoy.' So the guy eats it and makes a compliment to the manager, 'hmmm that was good, but what was it?' The manager says, 'well, its bull's balls from the arena, today the bull lost.' So the next day he comes back and he has the same thing, this goes on for about 4 days. Then on the 5th day he comes back and asks for the same thing. The manager comes back with a plate and these two round small things. The guy asks, 'wha.....wh....wa... whats this? I asked for bull's balls' The Manager says, 'Well, sir, the bulls don't always lose'. ------------------ What is the difference between Kelvin Cato and Macey Gray?? Macey has bigger hair
Ok, now what? ...sorry, I heard this one years ago; and yes, I'm old. ------------------ "Yes, it's true. Kelvin Cato DOES have plenty of heart. I think the downside of Hakeem's six weeks absence is the upside of Kelvin Cato's emergence as a power in the NBA." jscmedia - 12/2/99 7:13pm : the off-season is truly a great time to reflect.
It's funny, but far too easy to see the punchline coming. ------------------ Rockets need power forward. Mo near now. Go near Mo. You can Run from the bet, you can Rave at the bet...but you just can't hide.
How about this one: a dishevled reveler climbs aboard a morning subway. He reeks of alcohol. His face and neck are covered with lipstick. Playing cards and gambling chips spill out as he pulls the morning paper out of his coat pocket. He buries his nose in the paper and suddenly wonders aloud: "Wonder what causes arthritis?" A priest sitting across the bus, disgusted with the man's loutish behvior, retorts, "Well I know what causes arthritis! It's those late hours spent drinking and playing cards and chasing girls-- that's what causes arthritis..." he shouts with vexation. Momentarily, the priest is overcome with remorse for his obnoxious behavior and speaks again, seeking the man's forgiveness. The drunken reveler barely looks up and shrugs his shoulders. Wishing to forge better relations, the priest continues, "Why do you ask, my son, about the arthritis?" Because it says right here in the paper: POPE DIAGNOSED WITH ARTHRITIS. ------------------ "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak. Because someday you will have been all of these."
Why did the Zebra cross the road. ------------------ I do not believe in god. And it is nice to know that I am going to hell with Hitler, and McVeigh. Although I do not know why.
