[rant] ugh where to begin. a few month back my boss and i hired an assistant for mainly me to help with my work load (which in turn helps with my boss etc etc) anyways so this guy we hire was the most qualified out of the people we interviewed and while the guy was gay, it didnt really bother either of us as long as he did his job neither of us cared what he did after work. his age concerned me more than his sexual orientation, he is about 20 years older than me. all the other people i supervise at work are younger (not by much) or about my age at work. I had never had to deal with someone significantly older than me. so things started off fine he was doing well with the tasks assigned to him, neither myself nor my boss had complaints. then last week my boss and i went to best buy for lunch and my boss (both my boss and I share a huge office, while this assistant is in the office next to ours) comes back while i am out doing some other stuff and i come back and my boss tells me the assistant (i am going to call him "X" from now on) was sitting in my chair. just sitting in my chair not doing anything, wasnt waiting for anyone and that when my boss came in X just got up and left without saying a word. I was a bit weirded out by this but just shrugged it off. Until.... this past tuesday my boss and I went back to best buy to pick up any new stuff that was released and when we came back the office was empty. but then my other coworker came in and told me that while we were on lunch she came by the office to say hi to me and saw X sitting in my chair again. I asked her if he was doing anything and she said no he was just sitting there facing the door to the office. Now this just weirded me out even more who the heck just goes into someone's office and just sits in their chair. Granted that the office that I share is much larger than his (heck my half is about 1.5 bigger than his office)but this really irked me. The problem is that I had never caught him doing it so I couldnt really confront him and ask him about it myself. Until.... Today...I stepped out of the office to go grab some stuff at the coffee bean nearby. I come back and there he is sitting in my chair facing the door. He gets a bit startled when he sees me jumps out of my chair and starts walking towards the door. so then I go: Me:"you need anything?" X:"nope" Me:"so you were just sitting in my chair?" X:"yeah" Me"thats a bit odd dont you think?" In a really loud voice: X: "why is that odd? i dont find it odd? you find it odd? i have no windows in my office, i like looking out windows. well you find it odd call me CRAZY" as he ranting he is walking out the office towards his and I have the entire collector floor on my side of our suite looking at him and me wondering what the hell happened. I am sure going have him written up for his outburst today for unnecessarily disturbing the collector floor. lately the guy has been acting really odd, i dont know if its his personality and he is just starting to become comfortable now with the people at work. he has been trying to flirt aggressively with some of the girls at work and they all feel super uncomfortable about it because the guy is gay. we dont know if this guy is trying to act straight to try to fit in, but its not cool. he also has made some racially insensitive remarks as jokes lately. the thing that annoyed me was the people who told me about what he said both said not to talk to him about it because they didnt want to be "tattle-tale" and get anyone in trouble. so I asked them if they wanted me to talk to him about his remarks or not, and they both said no. I spoke to HR already though and told our HR rep about what was told to me and she made a note on his record of it. i am just worried about if he is going to over react like he did this morning and if he is going to say its a perceived attack on his sexual orientation than what he actually did/said. my boss is worried about that too and hasnt talked to him. its a "slippery slope" (I hate that term) but the guy is really starting to creep me and my coworkers out. Has anyone had a situation where someone needed to be told/reprimanded but done in a delicate manner? i havent had any sort of experience with this, like I said all my other folks I supervise its a lot different, but I have never had to deal with them on subjects of improper conduct its always been not doing something right etc etc. any tips? [/rant]
This guy sounds like a complete tool. I wish I had some advice, as I have had some crazy people come through my office. But other than in Texas you can terminate someone really for no reason, I really dont know what to suggest. Maybe a lock for your office door when youre out of the office perhaps? Good Luck, YoYo
While you were out this morning, I took the following photo of your coworker on your chair - Spoiler Spoiler I kid, of course Seriously speaking , this caught my eye: How do you find out someone's GAY, especially since it's not appropriate to ask this during an interview??? If he offered that information during the interview, it's up to him to be inappropriately offering this info. If you asked it, you could be in trouble.
we didnt ask him or anything, but it was pretty obvious he tended more towards the other side. super feminine etc. we have a few open gay/lesbian workers here and and all of them came up to me at one point or another after he was hired and told me that he was too gay even for them. he is one of those over the top guys. we never ask anything like that to any of the people who interviewed.
For real - have some really important documents (money, whatever) come up "missing" and then when your claim is investigated, your boss and other witnesses can attest at him sitting at your desk repeatedly without your consent.
Yeah well, I'm glad you're not a crazy coworker that sits at my desk while I'm gone just to stare out a window (that I don't have) and then yells at me about it when I confront you about invading my personal workspace!
Dude. You can't assume that because some dude acts EFFEMINATE or a chick acts MANLY that they bat from the other side of the plate. You can't say "he's gay" just because. Don't assume... I learned that the hard way that's what she said Spoiler .
If he's not doing anything bad what's wrong with him sitting in your chair while you are gone? Just ignore it.
The situation is actually very easy to handle.... Set up a meeting with you, your boss, an HR Representative and the crazy coworker. Tell the crazy coworker the following: 1) My office is not a public area - please do not go in there without my permission. If I did not tell you this before, I am telling you now. 2) I have received complaints from other employees of some unprofessional behavior on your end, including flirting and possibly discriminatory remarks. In addition, your response when I found you in my office on (date) was unprofessional and created a scene. If these reports continue, we will have to investigate and if the allegations are found to be true, you will be subject to disciplinary action. Please maintain a professional demeanor with your coworkers and be careful with your choice of words. (If you have a non-discrimination policy - which you should - you should refer him to that). Tell him that the discussion will be treated as a verbal warning (i.e. it won't go in his file but will be kept on record in the HR department). If there are no future problems, then it won't count against him.
well if he is sitting at my chair while i am gone that means he is not at his desk doing work first of all. secondly its an invasian of my privacy. i lock my computer up before i leave anywhere so he isnt looking at anything that is on my pc. but two of my desk drawers do not lock and i have some personal items in there (like my hakeem olajuwon basketball cards, i was going to make a poster but anyways i digress) that he could take or at least go through. like i said i dont know what he does or how long he is there sitting, its obviously strange he only does it when both my boss and i are out of the office. that strikes me as strange behavior, if it was just harmless he would have done it when my boss is here and not me or vice versa, but he does it when both of us are not there. edit: subtomic: thanks i am going to look into doing something like that
What a weirdo. Don't you have any other chairs in your office he can sit in while he looks out the windows...other than your chair? What I would do is get a chair and write his full name on a piece of paper. Then, get another piece of paper and write your name on it. Then, tape your named piece of paper to your chair and his named piece of paper to his (optional window sight-seeing chair when you are not around). Why does he have to sit in your chair? It is gay. Yet, he is gay. But, I'd probably fire the dude just for sitting in my chair for a bad reason...just because I could and there are too many equations going off in the head about why this guy is sitting in my chair. Granted, you don't own the chair. But, it's still your chair. My chair doesn't have a sign on it that says "Please sit in while I go to lunch and look out windows." on it. I wouldn't expect that. Plus, he's in your space. Oh...that's not right...not right. Chances are he is fantasizing about you, stud.
