Random Things You Think About a Lot

I have been feeling bad about killing bugs.
I dont think it is right all the way. Im struggling with it.

I killed this roach in my garage then I felt bad because he was so spry and moving around so quick and now hes there dead. I left him in that spot for the moment as a bit of a memorial. Reminder.

Who am i to take his life ? poor little guy. It has me thinking about chicken and other animals I eat.. but Im not the one killing it

 

I think about why people can't follow directions a lot.

 

I think about the early 2010s and how it was still the future but not yet dystopia a lot.

I think about the seemingly meaningless but life altering decisions I have made over the last 20 years a lot.

I think about how life will never go back to normal any time soon because over half the US populace won’t ****ing wear a mask or follow any expert guidance a lot.

 

I think about what happens if Stockton misses that shot a lot.

 

I think about alot a lot.

 

I think about The Butterfly Effect and Chaos Theory, and how it manifests itself to put certain people in horrible and unavoidable situations.

 

Semi-related- I freed a caterpillar from a spiders web the other night and felt good about it. Then as I was sitting down to watch some tv, I thought about if I did the right thing? I saved one life and then starved the other. I think about the circle of life a lot.

 

I struggle with should I continue to pay $1400 a month for my sons baseball lessons and work outs, This doesn't even include travel and team costs. He is almost 11 and has played since he was 4 and is on a top nationally ranked majors team. I enjoy watching him play and develop but I also feel that if i spent the same money on after school tutoring he is going to go much further in life. There was nothing like competitive league travel play today compared to when I grew up. **** didn't matter until HS. Hell my dad would of never spent this kind of money on me, I could buy a new vette or truck for this cost while searching for Elusive Whiskeys to drink on occasion or show case.

He did hit his first of 3 home runs in a tournament two weeks ago and has a monster arm as pitcher and catcher. So maybe he has a shot if he doesn't end up smoking pot, knocking some girl up in HS or worst yet just losing passion for the game and quit....I think about this A Lot.

 

What the hell kind of coaching is he getting for 1400 a month?

At 11 years old?

He has not even grown into his body yet/

 

You're getting played.

 

You did the right thing

Everybody has their thing. I think sometimes its the parents doing it for themselves instead of the kids necessarily wanting it. I suppose that is fine too. I have a son the same age and am a terrible dad in comparison. I try to make up for it by being involved ( hard not to in quarantine) and let him develop his interests. I do wonder if i should impose my interests but he is not having it. I think about the fact I should be doing something like you do.and i think about it a lot.

 

Hitting and pitching lessons twice a week at $100 a pop. Plus he does speed and agility with resistance training focusing on perfecting body movement so that one side of the body isn't stronger than the other. Baseball is kind of a one sided sport. its an insane youth industry with more billions than the NFL going into it. I know parents who are more gung ho than me who spend waaaay more. Their are 4-5 top national youth teams in the Houston area so we are always there for the big ones that pull teams from across the country.

 

I hear what your saying, I was not a baseball fan when it started. Hell my wife wasnt either. A parent we knew at the daycare at the time was Hey I'm putting together a team and would like your kid to play with us. That was 4 rec stuff then it blossomed from there, some all star games at 5 and 6 then select play at 7. The team didnt last past that part and we have floated between a few teams as most do. The Parent part is we bring our favorite parents and their kid with us along the way. So its kind of like alot of family vacations, wrapped around a baseball.

The kids are all into it, Its the only thing I can threaten to take away from him to get him to focus on other things in his life.

 

In a way, I suppose. Does he need all of the extra training and one on one? I coached him until he turned 9 and knew I needed to step away so he can develop from more experienced coaches and not have his Dad say WTH you miss that. Advantage for him a the gym is he is working with HS and some local college guys who give him positive reinforcement, some competition lol but most importantly life lessons that to listen to what he is being taught cause they are much older and working on the exact same-thing as no one ever taught them anything than their role.

 

When people misspell ‘you’re’ as ‘your’ it’s all I can see. I see it in group emails and think ‘if you’re unsure, why not just spell out ‘you are’? If it’s informal, then why not ur? I think about your alot.

 

I don't eat right or exercise enough. I think about being fat a LOT.

 

I’m not a parent but what I’ve seen regarding the Youth Sports Industrial Complex is usually portrayed in a negative light and fairly controversial. From cost, over use and stress on these kids bodies resulting in more serious injuries at ever younger ages, stress on the kids from parents spending a mortgage every month, the class divide it perpetuates... its just a mess. I think their is a fair amount of literature/segments/documentaries on the subject. Most of them I’ve seen have not painted youth sports turning into a multibillion dollar industry in a good light.

 

This is probably what will happen. Seems to be how most of these kids end up when they start too serious too young. He'll be burned out before high school.

I've been thinking about my mortality lately. I'm at the age where I'm starting to see friends and acquaintances who are younger than me get sick and pass away. Friends from high school, friends from college, etc. Very sobering. Also, my parents are starting to really get up there. My step-father passed away last week and now my mother is all alone, so my siblings and I are trying to be there for her a lot more than before. I know this is all a part of life, but it's still sucks. I think about this a lot.