So I haven't told anyone this, haven't really expressed this in any way, but here I go... So for starters, I'm in college and have a girlfriend who I've been with for a little over two years now. I go to school in a different city than her, but we are relatively close in terms of distance. I have this problem of paranoia. I am always neurotic, not trusting her, thinking that she's lying, even though most of the time I don't express it, I usually have this feeling, and every time without fail, afterwards, I've been wrong... Fast forward to this weekend when I went to see her, and as a side note, we haven't had sex yet, but the conversation comes up, in a semi-drunk way, and she tells me she wants to pursue that, not that we aren't physically active, just not that way. I start to WORRY that it's not more about me, but more about being in college and wanting to do it, but in all honesty when rationally thought about I know that that can't be true... I am honestly pretty care-free for everything but her, and that's my biggest problem... If things aren't okay with her, it bugs the hell out of me, and that's a problem. Basically, what I'm trying to say is, I don't know what it is, but in a weird psychological way I feel like I have some sort of problem, but I don't know what it is, or how to fix it...
Yes, you do have a problem, my friend. You have a girlfriend, and are investing all this time, money and effort on her, and you aren't having sex with her. That is the problem.
I'm she views your relationship alot like your original post. Yeah, she's probably already banged half the basketball team or defensive line, or the Omega Psi Phi house, all at the same time. She knows you're uncomfortable about having sex, and telling you she wants it so she can scare you off without actually dumping you. Y'know, once the prom pictures develop, sexless high school romances are pretty much worthless.
While us telling you "just have sex with her" may seem a little crass, but that is the truth. The physical part of the relationship is as important as the emotional part. Long distance relationship is already difficult, and since you are pretty neurotic about it, it may not be worth it.
Peter: Sometimes I get the feeling she's cheating on me Lawrence: Yea man I get that feeling to Peter: Whats that supposed to mean? Lawrence: I just get that feeling
Sounds like insecurity to me. To fix it, you need to devote yourself to change. -Starts with a mental makeover. Start building some confidence. Be optimistic, and have some pride in yourself. Figure out what makes you stand out from the rest. I can tell that you're probably a good guy. Take pride in that. Maybe start workin out, gettin' in shape(if you already aren't). And assuming she's a virgin... Once you have sex with this girl, she will be attached to you like no other. You won't have to worry. But you gotta make sure you dominate that Vag. Own it. Make it YOURS. Watch some p*rn, so you know what the hell you're doing. Stay confident. Confidence is key to good sex. Promise. Good luck.
The problem isn't confidence, cause with everything BUT her, I'm really confident, and don't care one bit about what anyone else thinks. With her though, I turn into a little b****, and excuse my language. I HATE THAT. As for the sex thing, I'll get back to you next month when I make another visit, but sounds about right to me. I'm definitely not afraid or anything, just came as a surprise. Call me a p***y, or whatever you'd like, I'm a huge sucker for her, and although it's not treating me in the best way, I don't know how to change that.
I give you a lot of props for opening up about this. A lot of guys go through this bro. Just keep cool. It'll be alright. I'll tell you what I did with my ex... I treated her like a princess, but I made sure(all the while) that she knew I was still wearing the pants. You do things that her future boyfriends won't ever think to do. Take her on some nice dates. Tell her how much you love her and make it known that you would never hurt her in any way(It'll make her feel bad about doing anything to hurt you). My ex cried to me the other day about how all of the guys she talked to/dated since we broke up didn't compare. Just treat her right. She'll appreciate it. She better.
True, but come on brother. A dude is a dude and a chick needs a d**k. If the OP isn't providing, obviously not that he doesnt want to, someone will eventually. Especially if shes in college, another city, and they get drunk. I am sure she will make a "mistake" and sleep with someone eventually. 2 THE OP. Unless you break it off now, you are going to continue to feel this way. I don't know if you have any reason to not trust her, but if it is out of pure jealousy then you need to calm down. Hang out with your friends. Talk to more girls, in a care-free manner. Eventually you will get to a point where you won't care much or stress out about your chick and when that happens its a win win. Reasons being either: 1. You can live a chill life and meet girls and possibly nail a couple, and on the path to nailing some you may find the one. FYI - Don't let the one be a one night stand or a stripper. 2. You not stressing about her will calm your character and with time she will notice and feel more comfortable and you may get it sooner. Chances are you act really protective around her, or not yourself. Try being yourself and treating her as a friend, see what happens.
Before I go on... Are you wanting to change because someone brought it to your attention (family, friends) or is this something you want to do?
If you don't sex her then someone else will. Also, if you aren't the aggressor physically, then she will think you are not attracted to her and the first dude who shows attention to her in that way will stick her. She'll eat it up.
yea, don't go straight from ass to mouth thats DISRESPECTFUL, not without her consent and as for treating her like a princess like someone else mentioned, you can get started on that one straight away with a pearl necklace to surprise her, maybe just lay it on her chest while she's sleeping or something equally romantic so she can wake up to the lovely surprise
