Poll: 4 in 10 Americans say marriage becoming obsolete

Count me part of the 61%.

There's some group that gives awards to Texans that they think are making a difference and advertises them on local radio stations. They gave the award most recently to Dr. Natalie Carroll, a gynecologist who promotes marriage to her unwed mother-to-be patients.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39993685/ns/health-womens_health/

 

With divorce rates so high whats the point. Plus the guy always get screwed in the divorce. Love can only take you so far, you have to find someone you can put up with or will at least compromise with.

 

What she says in that quote is correct, but I wouldn't agree that it's a good argument for marriage. The parents don't have to be married to both be in the child's life.

 

I don't think this means anything. I think a lot of gen-x and gen-y-ers see weddings as Prom, Part II. All those romantic comedies and sitcoms over the last twenty years with wedding episodes.

 

women need men less and less. society will eventually adjust

 

I find marriage important, but I do agree its becoming more irrelevant. This is why I find the whole "gay marriage" thing ridiculous. With marriages hitting <50% divorce rate, the whole legal aspect of two people bonding needs a redefinition.

 

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The institution of marriage needs to be updated, big time.

 

Thoughts from someone who performs alot of marriage ceremonies-

1. For the non-religious marriage formalizes significant commitments and legal obligations.
2. For the religious marriage in addition establishes significant boundaries, responsibilities and covenants that provide safety, health and prosperity.

In my opinion this is vital to raise children. If children weren't a significant part of a man-woman relationship marriage would not have the same value.

As someone who has provided counseling services for over 25 years in my own experience the marriage commitments, obligations, and responsibilities when handled correctly and executed well provide the best environment for children to be raised safely and in good health mentally, emotionally and physically.

By experience without a good marriage I have witnessed significant damage in relationships and even more problems in the children.

Small children especially are at risk when raised in homes where the risk of non commitment and break up are highest.

I have spent many hours trying to help the single parent and that is also a very challenging environment for raising children.

My wife and I have invested alot to help and support the single parent in our community.

 

I'd think being in a child's life(s) is a 24/7 job.

 

i think the less people get married, the whole argument about its better for kids become irrelevant. as long as both parents try to stay involved, kids will be fine. the kid issue is a lot about a stigma as much as it is about stability.

 

What is marriage about?

Love?
Business Arrangement?
Kids?

We need to define it . . .definatively.
Back in the day they arranged and more about joining families' wealth/land/etc?
Then it became about love and romance etc.
now
It seems like it is some bastardized version of both.

Rocket River

 

Sure it is.

No, but it's many times more likely if they are married.

 

The article just seem to suggest we're more comfortable with what we define as a 'family.' I'm kind of surprised 1 in 5 don't think a single parent with children or an unmarried couple with kids is a family. And 2 of five think a gay couple with kids isn't a family.

I wonder what they think they are?

 

I disagree.

Once defined marriage is significantly different than living together and staying involved.

Unless you tweek the definition of marriage.

A marriage union in most states is a legal contract. The marriage carries with it certain voluntary commitments and obligations missing in a living arrangement.

As I stated if kept correctly this greatly impacts children IMO.

A bad marriage is no better if not worse than a bad live in relationship, but if marriage is well executed it is significantly better than a temporary arrangment.

If you believe that living together carries the same level of commitment as marriage than why even be opposed to marriage?

As I tell couple in relationships- marriage is the commitment. In other words don't tell me your totally committed if your not.

 

as specific to kids, why?

 

I THINK this sentiment arises because marriage is so poorly executed...not because there's anything wrong with it conceptually.

I don't know...this is the kind of topic I would have been all over in the past. I'm not suggesting anyone should go out and get married for the sake of getting married. That in and of itself it's a great thing. It's a great thing when people are committed to each other. When there's love. When, if there are kids, those kids can see love evidenced through how their parents treat one another.

Probably cliche to quote a Bible verse on love...but this is what I'm talking about when I talk of love:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

I don't think most people entering marriage...who say, "i love you," mean THIS. Particularly the part that reads, "it is not self-seeking."

Love is merely a feeling to most...something to fall in and out of. "We've fallen out of love...let's go on a trip so I can fall back in love with you." That's how we've come to define it, culturally. That's not what's described in this passage, and it's not how I describe or understand love. Love is a choice to be made...a choice you keep making.

Hard for me to comment on marriage without considering my own. No marriage is without challenges...but when I back away from my self and consider how much I love this woman, everything is a lot clearer. When I'm caught up in self, I usually screw things up. I'm not the definition of love, noted above. A truth in a lot of religions that I believe to be from God is that the more we give up ourself, the more we find joy. A very foreign concept, for sure. Something that applies beyond the context of marriage, frankly.

 

"double or nothing, Colossians 3:12"

 

great movie! good quote!

 

I think marriage is a bit of an archaic institution, and I have trouble believing that human beings are strictly monogamous.

But I do believe there comes a time in a person's life when they feel the need to choose a life partner. Maybe that life partner is a man or a woman, maybe it is the open road, the sea, 14 cats, an obsession with building tiny ships inside of bottles, etc.