These days I don't really get mad but last night I had a real blow up. I play in a band and even though I live near downtown Minneapolis we've usually been playing gigs out at the suburbs. There's a bar pretty close to my house that we've been talking to for months about getting a gig and have heard from a lot of people that they would come out to see us if we played there since it was a lot closer than the suburbs. So about a week and a half ago I get a call from the bar that they have an opening and they want to book us. This was pretty short notice and on top of that one of our members was going to be out of town but we had been talking about it for months and figured this show would help us get later shows. This past week though leading up to the show work is really crazy and on Monday night I end up pulling an all nighter and end up working about 40 hours in the first three days of the week. While that's going on I hear back from several people that they can't make it because of school and work but I figure all we need to do is get about 20 people and we'll be fine. Night of the show I end up being stuck working until 8PM and we're set to start at 9:30PM. The rest of the band doesn't show up until 9PM and we don't even get there until 9:30PM. We run into technical problems during set up and don't get started until 10. The worst thing though is that we only draw 7 people including only 3 people from the neighborhood. So not only do we have a small crowd they aren't very lively. That really set me off and at the set break I went out and tossed a beer halfway down the street and kicked a chair apart. I was so pissed with the showing I went in and apologized to the bartender who got us booked and to the manager and told them not to pay us (I told the rest of the band I would pay them myself.) Unfortunately since I was in a foul mood we played like crap and by the time we finished, more than half an hour early we were playing to only about 4 people. I haven't gotten that mad in years and I don't feel proud about it. I'm pissed at my neighbors for not bothering to come out or do more to spread the word, I'm pissed at our usual regulars for not showing up but most of all I'm pissed at myself for not being able to draw more people, playing like crap and losing my cool. At the moment I just feel stuck in a viscious cycle to where I know I should just let it go but every time I think about I still feel mad. I'm guessing a lot of you have felt this way before so what do you do to get over feeling really pissed off?
I'm curious to hear people's answers too. I'm known as a pretty laid back person, but over the past 2 years I've dealt w/ numerous drug dealers, thieves, etc. Unfortunately the town I'm in now has plenty of seedy people, and occasionally they loiter near my mother's business. (I quit my job and moved here to help out) The most extreme moment came a month ago, and let's just say I'm very lucky I'm not in jail for an extended amount of time (it involved yet another altercation w/ a drug dealer). This coming from someone who was a good kid/student, master's degree, had a good job in IT, and my boss literally begged me to stay on a few months when I told him my plans to come here. Usually after an altercation I'm pissed off for a few days, constantly replaying whatever happened. I have hobbies, play sports, etc, but I still feel that pent up anger until it subsides w/ time. I think my last 'incident' was due to still carrying it around, and next time I probably won't be so lucky (not to mention if someone pulls a gun on me, etc). I can't take any more chances, so this question certainly interests me. The only thing I've found as decent help is playing video games. Something that I'll be totally engrossed in to take my mind of anything else, but it usually only works temporarily.
play some GTA. I normally either call up a chick I know, play some PC games, or just sit outside with my dog...in this BEAUTIFUL weather. I was pissed off a couple of weeks ago when a bar not only lost my credit card....but my drivers license too. Apparently they gave them BOTH away to the wrong customer.
That sucks Sishir. I average about two concerts a week, but these are usually touring bands. A few times a well known act will only have 10 people or so, which is kind of sad. In the past some shows like Menomena and The Hourly Radio have had really small crowds. I saw The Rosebuds a few weeks ago at The Proletariat and there were literally only 20 people there. The Rosebuds are a nationally acclaimed band and have played at big music festivals even. And these crowds are in Houston, which is one of the biggest cities in the nation. I could probably imagine it would be harder to pull a crowd in a much smaller city especially with local artists.
^ Thanks Mr. Brightside that actually made me feel better. We're not professional musicians and not very serious but only play a gig about once every two to three months. This was our smallest crowd and also the first time we've played on a weeknight so maybe I've been spoiled that when we do play we usually draw enough people who know us to make up for a good crowd. I guess its good to hear that even established musicians can have off nights.
I've been in established bands and also bands that I've had to try and gather support for through the years, so I think I know how you feel. The hardest was a few years ago that I was trying to get some gigs for myself playing the piano with a drummer and it was kind of a hard sell if there was not a decent crowd to play for. I would get a bunch of people that would promise to show up that wouldn't come out for whatever reason. Down the line it all turned out well, but those were some hard nights. Looking back on it though I think that you should never feel like you have to depend on your friends and neighbors to show up to support you, but just appreciate it when they do. In the short term it might hurt to not have that support and you might not get booked back right away, but keep plugging at your local bars and play for cheap if you have to until you can build up a following of the type of people that are always looking for a reason to go out. Also, I know that it's different for each venue, but I always tried to take the stance that it's up to the club to be a good enough draw to at least have a few people in the seats ready for some live music. If they are completely counting on you to bring your crowd, then it's not a place that you really want to play anyway. As far as being pissed off and letting that to affect your performance, try to use your art (whatever instrument you play) to calm you down and bring you to the place that you need to be. If you don't have a crowd then play for yourself. Or just get really drunk on the band tab. That's what we always did if there wasn't much of a crowd. Good luck!
Man, its funny I posted the earlier post. I went to a Scissors for Lefty concert tonight, and there were only 10 people there. And I think 3 of them were part of the earlier band that played. http://www.myspace.com/scissorsforlefty This band had a pretty big set at SXSW in Austin this past March. About 200-250 people is quite alot for SXSW shows. This group is from San Fran and even tours abroad in Canada. Tonight felt kind of uncomfortable with having so few people. It makes me really ashamed of the city when a pretty good indie rock band can't even get 20 people to show up. I don't understand how these touring musicians can even afford to travel if only 10 people show up and pay 10 bucks cover to get in. For pete's sake they even have 10K friends on Myspace and over 155K page views. They've even opened for bands like The Fratellis and Arctic Monkeys in the past. Makes me wonder if part of the problem is the promoting of the show. These smaller shows aren't on Ticketmaster, or even the local music blogs. I know about the shows, b/c I actively read some off the radar sites which talk about these concerts. But the sad thing about Houston is that if you go to a place like NYC, these shows would routinely be sold out. I don't get the feeling that this town is a big supporter of live music.
Here's what you do - you just ball that emotion up and stick it away deep inside, and never speak of it again. http://imdb.com/gallery/ss/0415306/05891.jpg.html?path=gallery&path_key=0415306&seq=3
There is an excellent exercise that can be used to learn to brush off adversity and not get frustrated with failure. In the exercise, you MUST put failure behind you, or you will continue to fail. Only but getting over it (and doing so quickly) will you be able to achieve your goal. The exercise is called "Golf".
I've seen videos of SVR playing to about 30 people. And I'm sure he's played in front of fewer. Like others have pretty much said - just play and enjoy what you do.
Cheer up Sishir, the Rockets season will start soon. I know the REAL REASON for your anger is that feeling you had after the Utah Series.
When I first started playing gigs, I played in a band that opened for bluesman Big Walter Horton at Fitzgerald's here in Houston. I asked him "what's the one thing I should know about being a musician"? He said "learn how to love rejection, cuz you're going to get alot of it". Hang in the Sishir. Play music because you love to do it, and everything else will fall into place.
In one of my first gigs (in US) our drummer, bassist and lead guitarist stepped out after a damn good first set. Drummer and bassist decided to take a little toke. Damn if the worst didn't happen. They get busted in the parking lot...and the dude with the most talent, the guitarist, didn't even get high, back then. As mad as I was at those guys, it couldn't cover the embarrassment of apologizing to the crowd and then taking verbal pot shots as we (just 2 of us) were breaking down the equipment. Even now reliving that night my blood boils until I remember their faces.
LOL, I can't even remember how many times I played in bands that had more people on stage than in the "crowd". Just part of the package. Doesn't happen much anymore since my current band mostly does private/corporate functions, but still, there are PLENTY of times where we're playing our asses off and there is total silence after we finish a song, even though the dance floor is packed. We're just background music. We just consider it a paid rehearsal. I played in a band about 15 years ago where me, the trumpet player and the bass player were literally only in the band for the free beer. We only played gigs at places that offered us free beer. We would tell our friends NOT to come to the gigs. We'd get to the gig 3 hours early, set up....then start drinking heavily. I would occasionally wear a ski-mask on stage and the bass player would stand behind the guitar player so no one would see him. Moral of the story? It could always be worse.
Well imagine making it big... ok maybe not big, but known, like Ashlee Simpson and getting booed after a song. I know every inch of it was deserved, but that gotta suck for her getting booed on national tv.
