Parental Phrases You Swear You'll Never Use

On the road with you kids in the backseat.

"Don't make me come back there"

 

Want me to give you something to cry about?

 

"Go ask your mother."

 

I read this the other day...

Shut your mouth and eat your food. (quoting Brian Kemp)

An old mama HayesStreet favorite was 'How would you like a knuckle sandwich?'

 

kid : "Why?"

parent : "Because I said so."

 

"boy you're as useless as t*** on a bull..."

 

These are the ones we use now.. I have two girls , ages 2 ½ & 3 ½ .

1) Have you lost your mind ?

2) This is your last chance !

3) ( Wife ) 5, 4, 3, 2, …..

4) Dad can I have some ( no ! ) but dad ( no ! ) please….please….please ( no ! ) ( no ! ) ( no ! )
I just want one cookie ( do you hear the words coming out of my mouth ? ) Please.
( ok, ok…. you can one !!!! ) Dad….. ( yes dear ) can I have two cookies ( arrrrggghhhhhh !!!!!! )

5) favorite ( I LOVE YOU !!! )

 

BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!
[thought i would not use it but . .. at age 1 1/2 my son
had made me go back on it]


Rocket River

 

amen! It's become a popular saying..my girl always wants to know why when I tell her no...sometimes you just can't explain it to a 9 yr old..so then I say......"Cause I said so.."

Hayes...my momma didn't say that, but my g-ma did...

Can't you just hardly wait to use some of these yourself heypee??

 

"I told you so."

My dad loves this, but he uses, "Didn't I say so? Didn't I?"

He doesn't use it now (I'm thirty-freakin-three) but it's always part of his psyche.

 

this is gonna hurt me more than it's going to hurt you...

 

If this was true, why was I the one with the problem sitting down after the belt? I don't think my Dad had a problem sitting down afterwords.

How about when you take the kid to the doctor and he/she needs a shot in the behind and you tell the kid:

"If you relax it won't hurt as much."

Or something to that affect...anyways...this is actually true...if you relax the muscle it won't hurt as much, but what 4 year old kid is going to "relax" when a doctor is coming at them with a huge needle...

 

How about the look, it can be just as powerful as any phrase...

"Do what I say, not what I do"

 

I had a second-grade teacher, Mrs. Roberts, who used to warn me that I needed to "straighten up and fly right." I tried it on my son once... it felt good and was 72% effective.

 

"What? You think money grows on trees?"
or
"Get your own beer!"

 

My mom used to say "bring me your teeth" and I would have to walk across the room to get my face slapped. I'll NEVER do that to my child!

 

"he's not your daddy"

 

This will be our little secret. No, wait, I mean uh uh

oh yeah "If you loved me you would (insert unpleasant task here)."

 

I hope you received professional help !