Hookers and Mormans: Olympic report (long)PT I Yes boys and girls, I went to the Olympics and have now returnd to tell the tale. forward: Most of you know I am from NY more specificly the hamptons. I am 27 years old and I am single. I work in finance, but if you are not a hot chick i may tell you i work at a bank . more on me at www.hanta-force.com thats my paintball team, i am Micah, the bald guy click on team you will see me 2nd on the list. on the BBS many of you lump me in with drewdog as one of the drunk posters. well drew, I truely out did myself on this little Vay-kay. I went to Las vegas for 3 nights before heading up to the Olympics, and I will tell all of you my stories gained in this 9 day romp through the mid west. I traveled with one of my buddies. john, a 31 year old Aussie who is also single. he is on the website also i think. he has long blond hair, so pretty much any chick that hates baldies likes long hair, so we were a decent contrast. the trip: my flight from JFK left at 826 and landed at 11:00 pm vegas time. we were with rental car by 11:30 an Oldsmobile Alero with 328 miles pretty sweet bump up from econemy . we checked in and were out on the strip my 12:30AM the first night was pretty basic. we gambled little, and drank lots. met some girls, but nothignspecatcular. ended up getting to bed around 6 am local, so it was ( am back home) the next day we went out and bought a handle bottle(1.75litre) of cheap vodka as well as a flask for pre-drink on this night we decided to go to fins dome UNLV bars and hit the strip later. well I was pretty drunk, so i dont remember the name of the bar. i think it was bullwinkles or something weird like that. im pretty sure it had something to do with a moose. after i dances with every chick in the place and been quite charming i apparently made the mistake of taslking to a girl at the bar. Me thinks the bar tender had a bad night as he yelled an awful lot when I talked to her. Apparently she was his girlfriend. I will tell you all right now I was not even hitting on her, but that didnt matter to the not so friendly barkeep. right away he said, get the f**k out of here cant you see shes with me. he then told the doormen to kick me out. its sad too because i think what I said next could have only made his night worse. see, the doormen wouldnt touch me as i was larger than them, and for some reason peaople fear baldies. (honestly i dont know why because i am way too friendly to be tough) so i told the bouncers to wait a sec(and they did for some reason) i walked back to the bar and told the bartender that he must have a terribly small d**k to be so damn insecure as to fear that my my simply saying hello to his girlfriend. She looked at me and smiled as the bouncers laughed out loud. I then walked out the door unaided. the bartender had nothing to say either. as it turns out I was the least of the bouncers problem as there was a fight in the parking lot which Im sure was part of the reason I wasnt physicaly tossed from the establishment. ok, after that we tried to find a cab back to the strip. There is a whole adventure involving finding that cab which included a Russian pimp/cab driver who kicked us out because I was saying that every Russian chick I've met was a slut. and because we wouldnt buy his hookers. So, in a second cab we made it back to the strip. After several hours of partying up half the casinos on the strip I spent a few hours with a charming young woman and her mother. Incidently they were Russian, and she was pretty damn slutty . on the third and last night in vegas we went all out. drank plenty before hitting the strip, saw the sites, which included going to ther top of Paris(Eifel tower replica) awsome view, well worth the $$ while on the strip that night we made friends with brooke the coctail waitress as well as Sammy the bartender. some time around 9 am we ended up back at sammys bar. we were talking surfing with this chill So Cal guy when a lady sits next to my buddy John. I recognise her from a bar we were in earlier we noticed her give something to a man and then enter an elevator. he followed 5 mins later. We both laughed and said out loud.. hooker. aparently my drunk friend forgot this and began to chat her up. after exchanging names, these are exact quotes John: so where are you from? hooker: umm.. here and there.. John: uh ok, what do you do? hooker: um uh... a little of this and that. Johnsuprised and kinda loud) (laughing) ohh i know, your a hooker. she said yup, asked if he ws interested, and gave him her cell number. he said no thanks, but kept the number because he thought it was funny. an hour or so later he left and went to sleep. i stayed out however as we didnt have to check out till noon . eventually switching from Long Island iced teas to Coffees the bar was starting to get busy again. ohh and did I mention that this bar was dead in the middle of the casino? so a really hot chick sits near me and i think to my self..... hooker. as i giggled audably. i looked at sammy and asked hokker?? he nodded and smiled while laughing. this chick keeps smiling at my obviously wasted self and eventually says "hi" I say "hi" and ask (in an Austin Powers, Im having trouble contriolling the volume of my voice way) "Are you a hooker?!!??!" she nods yes in that why did you say that so loudly way. so i ask if i can ask her some questions. she agrees, so i scooted over by her. i told her i am not a customer and she was now starting to get irritated, and asked my what the difference was between buying girlfriends things and giving her 20 bucks was for a BJ. i responded with "do you like your job. she says yes(a suprise to me) so i ask are you happy with what you do she says no, and at that verry moment i hear an excuse me sir from behind. i turn, and its 4 security guards in a brownish gold uniform. they ask if this wqoman propositioned me (she had) so i said yes. they then ask if i want to press charges. I say "no" of cource realizing that I am making trouble for this girl, and she probably has enough bad stuff going on in her life. so after they made me empty my pockets and check my ID they escort me to my room. it turns out that the hookers are pretty much welcomed in the hotels and that i was disrupting the trenquility of the setting. and although hookers are welcomed, they have to act whenever they hear someone say hookers out loud. my drunk ass strikes again well they tell me i need a 1 hour time out. i took my hgour and returned to the same bar. sammy was laughing his ass off at me as he made me a coffee. 2 seconds later my buddy kim the security guard came back and said "mr kerr its only been 36 minutes what are you doing back down here?? as you can imaging i though like a week had passed, but again my drunk ass gets me banned from the casino. they let me bring the coffee this time though so in 3 days i was kicked out of a bar, a cab, and my own damn casino. Kim was a real sweet heart though. she let me keep my dice and cards that the pit boss gave me. and said i am welcomed back because i didnt resist her and was polite. Leaving Las Vegas 2 drunk bastards trying to find a car in a 7 floor parking garage is a freking nightmare. Especially since we split up. A few hours later, and after calling security(kim again) we found each other and the car. we managed to drive out of town and into the desert. John, the driver decided to head N in to Nevada on the back roads instead of taking the big highway(15). we saw some amazing scenery up intill dark. then we sobered up and just drove. we slept along the highway at one point, and eventually took rt 50 east toward Provo. at 3 am we hit provo and with me as driver decided to sleep in a church parking lot. it was right near an intel building that i was sure was an olympic venue in the fog the night before. Im loosing my steam right now, so i will continue from here in another post. I assure everyone that read all of this that the best stories are still to come including all the olympic and morman stories you can handle. besides the stories will come out better tomorrow after i get some sleep PEACE
why was the title of my post changed?? he word hooker is not on the banned list and appears quite often in my post. this first part of my tale is the hooker part. the morman part comes next. i am a bit confused, but if someone got offended i guess im sorry. and you surely are a bit touchy
