My 87 year old grandmother has been slowly descending into dementia for about 10 years now. We moved her into an independent living community about 3 years ago. She doesn't have a lot of money, but luckily my grandfather's VA benefits and her social security have been able to cover the cost. Recently my grandmother was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and the doctors are beginning to suggest that things have gotten to the point where we need to move her. My aunt wants to sell her house and use it to pay for some sort of memory care facility. I think she's too old and sick for something like that, that a nursing home would be much more appropriate. She has some lingering health problems and I think it's only a short matter of time before she'll need the skilled nursing, if she doesn't alread. My aunt refuses to even look at any nursing homes, and the salespeople at the assisted living places have her convinced that nursing homes are evil. We did some estate planning about 3 years ago, so the house is protected if we have to go the medicaid route, but everything else would have to be spent down. There's a small long-term care policy too that will defer some cost, but there will be a shortfall that will have to be paid for if we go the assisted living route and she ends up there for an extended period. If we sell the house, I don't see the assets lasting more than 3 or 4 years, depending on how much care she needs. I'm agitated that my aunt, who has power of attorney, wants to change the plan and sell the house, even though that isn't what my grandmother wanted when she was still competent and redid her estate. She specifically wanted to leave an inheritance and didn't want the house used to pay for private care. Based on my research, I've come to the conclusion that these memory care facilities are total scams. My aunt and I strongly disagree which option is best. Anybody been down this road before? Suggestions? We need something in NW Houston, near 290 and HW6, if anyone can suggest some facilities.
Her personal benefits should be able to pay for her care -- Medicare/ Medicaid can't take a persons' home to pay for medical costs (as you noted). Unless the home is extremely valuable it's not going to pay for an assisted living provider very long and the family will lose that asset.
Go here: http://www.dads.state.tx.us/services/index.cfm Get someone there to sit down with you and discuss the options. Good luck.
I see this happen all the time at work where there's a huge disagreement over placement and assets. It gets frustrating for us when family members don't have Wills because often times we get caught up in the disagreements. It's best to honor your grandmother's wishes but since she doesn't have one it looks like your aunt will win out since she has POA.The law recognizes this so whatever decisions she makes will stand. If there's any shred of proof (ie old letter, notes etc) regarding your grandmothers wishes perhaps you can get your own lawyer but even then it would be an uphill battle. As far as facilities are concerned I would go assisted living hands down especially if you have the money. I'm not exactly sure how much Medicare pays for these type facilities but yeah, generally you get what you pay for. From my understanding a resident must be able to have a certain level of function in an assisted living and can't be bed bound. I could be wrong about that. In any regard, if I had a choice it would be assisted living. Obviously there are higher end nursing homes where you probably have to pay a premium but all things considered, the substandard care would still be atrocious. The main thing is for you guys to keep your grandmother's dignity during her last years intact. I'm sure the last thing she wants to see is family squabble over assets. The above resource should help to determine the most efficient way she can utilize the remainder of her assets. I live around the 290 hwy 6 area by the way and there's an assisted living named grace care on huffmeister if your really deciding to go that route. Very nice facility IMO.
