This is probably the WRONG place to ask for dating advice given the strong propensity for "Do it in the pooper" and "we need pictures" responses, but I'll give it a shot. So, I met this girl online (not through MySpace, so don't start trying to figure it out) and we emailed back and forth a bit. We've had a couple long phone conversations including a very long one last night. We have quite a lot in common and we had a great conversation - not one-sided or anything - very easy and lots of laughing. At the end, I just say, "You know we should get together because I've had a great time talking with you and I'm interested in meeting you in person." I even made some mention prior to that about how I know that online can be weird and that it is safer to meet somewhere in public. She responded with, "Thanks." What the hell am I supposed to do with that? I then said, "Let's get together for coffee or something," and she just said, "Uh, yeah, ok..." I'm not sure I get it given the fact that we talked for so long and seemed to hit it off. I'm not exactly the most forward guy in the world, but she is pretty damn cool and I do want to meet her and see what's up. And before you go any further, I asked if she likes sports and she said, "Just basketball. I used to be a HUGE Rockets fan, but I've kinda gotten out of it." I hadn't even mentioned my personal basketball affliction. So, what's my next move? Be gentle.
"Uh, yeah, ok..." Jeff I'd make sure you arent going to end up on that channel 2 news sting.. J/J.. I'm sure she understands what you are getting at, if she is doesnt why keep trying??
i'm not sure anyone "gets it" if you talked that long and seemed to hit it off. I think it's normal to assume that if you spent that much time talking/emailing and having a good time that a face to face meeting would be in order. the only thing I can think of - is that she's shy or has low self esteem and is afraid of meeting you. if that's the case, just take your time, but keep pushing the let's do something in public (life coffee) that won't take long.
So Kip...errr...I mean Jeff, has she sent you a picture of herself? She's either married, has low-esteem issues with regards to her appearance, or just underaged....or a guy! Seriously, have her send a picture (full body) if she hasn't already.
IMHO I think she was waiting for you to be more specific. It depends on background but (in spite of equality) alot of women still want men to take the lead on things. Too bad it's the off-season...some good tickets to a Rockets game would definitely be specific. I guess a good music venue is the next best choice.
She's actually fairly direct and seems quite comfortable with herself. I thought she might be a little gun shy from previous experiences. I'm sure it is tougher for women given the fact that there is a greater danger to them from freaks and the like. Probably good advice. Thanks.
by the way..i'd like to get together for coffee or dinner or something with you jeff. not that there's anything wrong with that. my family just happens to be out of town, so i'm Mr. FreeTime right about now.
I've seen her. Definitely my type. She knows what I look like as well, so there shouldn't be issues there. I wondered about what you said, GATER, about being more specific. Someone else mentioned that as well.
Seriously though, maybe it was the first part of that sentence that she focused on (the "I've had a great time talking with you..." part). Would it hurt to ask again the next time you talk? There isn't the whole embarrassing face-to-face rejection to worry about on the phone.
Jeff, my none-expert advice is that she's obviously not ready to or enthused about meeting you. Maybe she just wanted a person to talk to and nothing more, maybe she's married or with a boyfriend. I say cool it for a few days with the asking for a meet up and then ask again if she'd like to meet you for Saturday or Sunday lunch at Nikko's Nikko's or something, I think they cater to vegetarians. Is she a veggie? Anyways, you know this town, pick a crowded happening place and make it the last time you ask. If she doesn't committ, you are wasting your time. Though once you get to that point, there is still a glimmer of hope where you can say, outright, "would you like to meet me ever and when would that be?"
Well, maybe she has trust issues then (which is a good thing) and she doesn't want to meet up with some, albeit not as strange now, stranger she met from the Internet. As Gater suggested, be more specific, and suggest a really crowded place in the daytime to make her feel more comfortable. A simple picnic lunch at one of the parks or something.
FYI, she's divorced and we met as the result of a dating site, so it isn't as if she would be hiding any of that. She also was slow to originally respond when I emailed her, so I'm thinking that she might be cautious.
