I am curious, is it normal in a healty relationship to be worried about my parter when they are out with the opposite sex? I am, but I know I shouldn't be.
Is it normal....yes. Should it be....no without trust...you shouldnt even be together. You have to be able to trust, or it will make you nuts.
Yes. Both of you should be able to hang out with friends of the opposite sex. Neither of you may be very happy about it, but that's life. If they're doing it to get attention or if they're making you really upset/uncomfortable with it, then that's a different story.
Well, if your partner is gay, then you have nothing to worry about. Seriously, what is your partner doing out with someone from the opposite sex?
Okay, what if it's a member of the opposite sex with whom she once had a torrid affair while he was married to a different woman? Because this woman I've been seeing will, from time to time, go babysit the son of this guy she used to have a lot of sex with. And when she goes over there, they have their hang-out time before he leaves for the evening... i.e. he'll make her some dinner or show her his CD collection or whatnot (and until very recently, he was still inviting her over to get in the hot-tub, etc.)
I'm assuming from the way you are describing this, that this dude lost his penis in some sort of freak accident.
Oh, god... I'm laughing so hard! But if I were you, mrpaige, I'm don't think I would be laughing. That sounds a little "above and beyond the call of duty" to me. (unless you're trying out something for a script... in that case, I see some juicy scenes in development )
Here's a better question, what if your sig. other is hanging out with a member of the opposite sex and that person does not like you but does like your sig. other and wants to hook up with them and probably would do anything to do so?
No script here. This is an actual situation in my life.... She hasn't been with the guy, to my knowlege, in some time (probably about two years). I made my feelings known some time ago (I was against it). At first, she was offended, saying that I was trying to keep her from her friends. Eventually, she came to see my point and cut off her communication with him. But then the guy's wife up and died (aneurysm), so then she felt sorry for him and started talking to him again. I reiterated my feelings on the subject, but every time he calls and asks her to babysit, she goes and does it. In the meantime, she has made it clear that I cannot cast either of the actresses from my first movie ever again even though I never slept with either one of them (though I did go watch the stipper one strip one time... and got a lapdance from her. But I'd never cast that one again anyway since she compares poorly in the acting department to many p*rn stars). I don't think she's sleeping with the guy, but I still don't think she should be seeing him.. ever... for any reason... especially if she's going to get pissy about me working with someone I never slept with (and who would likely never sleep with me even if I wanted to).
Just to add a little bit to my situation, she does ask me if it's okay that she goes and babysits for this kid. And I have stopped saying "No. I don't want you to do it" because I don't want her to not go because I told her "No", I want her to not want to go at all.
Hey my "script" actually happened to me. My girl actually stopped talking to and seeing the guy though on her own with no help from me. I think that's what you should do, your girl should eventually realize that this is putting you in an weird situation and stop going over there.
Sounds complicated. It's a bummer that she doesn't trust you to cast actresses for your movies. (man, what a nice job to have when you can!) Of course, I guess she's saying you don't trust her... but you didn't have a history with the people she's jealous of, either. It's a different situation. If you're in a business like that, these things are going to come up all the time (hopefully) and her getting hung up about it isn't cool. I'd say you have a legitimate beef. Just curious, does she ever ask you to come babysit with her? If she doesn't, why not? Seems like a good question.
But even now that I've stopped telling her that I don't want her to go over and babysit, she still insists on a total Janet/Stephanie blackout (the two actresses from my first feature). She's constantly jealous of phantom things. She gets jealous when the phone rings at my place. She imagines it's some other woman calling me. She gets jealous of my male friends when I spend any time with them and gets mad at me when I can't drop everything to come and listen to her tell stories about her guinea pig or some other god-awful boring thing. She claims she wouldn't be jealous of other actresses, just these two. But I know that once I started working with the new ones, she'd get jealous of them, too. It goes beyond that. One of the reasons (not the only reason, though) I haven't taken it upon myself to take on shooting a feature in a while is knowing that she'd get pissed at me for not being able to spend my weekends with her (as that would be when I would likely be shooting, most of the time, and for many weeks). She's never asked. I would never go anyway, mostly because I'm not interested in meeting the jerk. But the kid also has Asperger Syndrome and can be weird around people he doesn't know. Our relationship is a little weird anyway. We met several years ago and dated for about a year. Then we were apart for about three years before we started seeing each other again as sort-of friends. During that time, she made me happy and I was pretty lonely, as well, so we eventually got to the point where we were seeing each other exclusively. I kind-of thought of it as a temporary thing, and that I'd find someone who was more my type (because this woman and I share virtually no interests, and she isn't what I ever imagined myself with) later on, but in the meantime, it was nice to have someone who made me happy and who was somewhat fun to be around. At some point, I realized I wasn't really being fair to her or to myself by always thinking of her as some sort of stop-gap girlfriend. And I decided to really give her a chance. I figured that I would be stupid if I was not allowing a relationship with someone who made me happy and who was fun to be with to flourish because I was waiting around for a woman who I thought was more my type to come along. As time has gone on, it's becomming more and more clear to me that we're not very compatible. We really don't share many interests. We don't have similar senses of humor. We don't like the same shows on television or the same movies. We don't like the same restaurants. She doesn't like hearing about my movies. I can see her eyes glaze over every time I mention them. By the same token, my eyes glaze over when she starts talking about her kids at school (she's in the final stretch of being a severe and profound special ed teacher. She graduates in December and is doing her student teaching now) or about her Guinea Pig or new dog (there's another thing. I don't like pets. She has six pets - three dogs, two cats and a Guinea Pig). We have different goals in life. I have kids. My life is complete without any more (though I wouldn't mind having another kid). She not only wants kids, she has expressed a desire to possibly adopt special needs kids, something I have absolutely no desire to do. And most importantly to me, she doesn't seem to really believe in me. I've finally gained enough confidence in myself (no small feat there. I am a classic self-doubter) to attempt to use my familial connections to raise enough money to make a "real" movie (The Devil Next Door). I've been putting together my budget, attempting to make some in-roads in casting some "name" actors (I want Nicholas Brendon, Joanna Garcia and Burton Gilliam as my SAG people, and then I'd fill out the cast with locals), putting together a business plan and generally planning on shooting a movie with a decent-sized budget (between $650,000 and $1 million) some time next year. Personally, I really need a cheerleader because even though I know people who have more money than God to throw around, I have serious doubts in my ability to be able to pull this off. And honestly, she hasn't helped me in that department. And that, more than anything, is what has the best chance of ending our relationship. I know wanting to make movies is a silly career choice and that most people who embark down this road fail miserably. But it's something I have to do. It's in my blood. Aside from the times I spend with my sons, the time I spend behind the camera (or in front of the computer writing a script) are the happiest times in my life. It's the only time I've ever felt right. Even when the movie is a giant pain the butt to make, I love every second of it. I can't not do it. But if I'm going to have someone in my life, they really need to believe that I can do it. My own self-doubt is enough for me. I don't need those closest to me doubting me, too (or if they are doubting, they can at least pretend they aren't). But now I've veered severely off-topic. I apologize.
