If a foreign couple gets into a domestic dispute do they still call it that? Should affirmative action apply at tanning salons? A black woman has the ability to determine as to whether or not you have any money. A white woman has the ability to determine as to whether or not to loan you any money. A black woman feels it necessary to marry someone like their father. A white women feels it necessary to marry someone their father likes. I misread a sign, I thought it said "Please pay gas before pumping cashier" at least I got a little something for that extra dollar a gallon. To make up for my lack of intelligence, I play Jeopardy in different time zones to impress my friends. By the time they see "final jeopardy" I've already missed it several times. I have a friend that got fired from the unemployment office, he got back in line. flame away... ...I've got more.
Here is one of my stupid jokes I created: Did you hear about the strand of hair that got put in the hospital? A: He had a "brush" with death and ended up in a "comba".
Here is the blonde joke I made up... Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers? It is entirely too difficult for them to keep their calves together.
Thanks, everybody... I'll be here all weak... but you'll be there all strong... [gotta love the English Language] Here are some of my inspiration (DON'T STEAL THEM, unless you're MEXICAN, Another!): Contrary to popular belief, I am MEXICAN. Before I get out all the Mexican stuff, please put on a blindfold... In my country, we have ONE saying... I bet you have MANY sayings here, too... Thank you, thank you... I'll be here all week... or until my Resident Alien Card expires!
-500 kids were asked their opinion of Michael Jackson, they said that he rubbed them the wrong way. -I like to go to garage sales and bid on things that may not be for sale, "How much for the grandparents" "Ummm, make me an offer" -I buy a lottery ticket and a condom at the same time in hopes of getting lucky on either one of the two, I've won almost 34.00. -Women say, "It's not the size of the boat it's the motion of the ocean." I say, "Loose lips sink ships." -If I opened a restaurant I would call it "I DON'T KNOW" "Hey where you going to eat tonight" "I don't know" "Cool, afterwards we'll go to the titty bar next door called "Out with my friends" same owner....
Hey, I wrote a joke for you: Your momma so fat and ugly that she repulses most men, causing her to have severe self image problems. In order to dull the pain, she sleeps with anyone who is willing. The men she brings home often hit you and your mother, which will cause you to become an abusive father and husband, as well as an emotionally detached lover. Make royalty checks payable to DanHiggsBeard
alright, I got another one for you: Your momma is so stupid that standardized test have determined that she is borderline r****ded. You are so ashamed and defensive that you have built a wall around yourself, and won't let others get close to you. This personality flaw will drive others away from you, leading to multiple divorces and will cause your children to grow up and resent you.
well like I thought i could do comedy because a lot of people said I was a stand-up guy. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
These jokes are very good and probably even better with the delivery....but still not as entertaining as the relationship threads Do you ever do any clubs in Connecticut? Does Connecticut even have any comedy clubs?
I was in Hartford with Aretha Franklin last year, but I don't know of any real clubs there. There are a bunch of one-nighters though, and although fun places they don't pay worth a darn.
