I just had my first child 3 weeks ago, I don't think I suffer from depression but I may have the slight case of the blues. I'm nervous throughout the day and feel anxious. I get really nervous about Baths for the baby because she screams kicks and makes it so difficult. I feel anxiety about the night time, about my baby screaming bloody murder and me not knowing what the hell is wrong. This happened the other night, she wouldn't sleep and cried every hour. I find myself getting annoyed by the baby when she starts crying after the 4th time I thought I rocked her to sleep only to wake up screaming 5 minutes later. Me and my wife are trying to cope by doing a routine where 1 day, every other week, she will have her ME time and go away from the house while I care for the baby. And then I'll do that the next day. I know it's going to get better but it's tough right now. Anyone else been in the same boat and have any suggestions on getting through this stage?
LOL......been there, done that. It will get better. Just sneak a nap when you can. Rotating between parents is a must. Babies love car rides......
I went through this a year ago, and the first three months are probably the worst. Baths are still scary at times (my 1 year old son tries to stand up several times, but he doesn't intentionally fall forward or backwards like he did early on), but night time has gotten better. Between 3-6 months they start sleeping through the night much better, then you just have to deal with teething pain that will wake them multiple times in the night. Do you have a place in your home where you can sleep and not hear the baby at night? I found that nights when it wasn't my turn to help with late night wake ups, sleeping in a place that the baby wouldn't wake me up helped me regain my sanity.
Problem is my house is small so I would hear the baby wherever Im sleeping. My dog also goes nuts when she crys and barks like crazy. He is at the opposite end of the house, so either way I hear the baby or the dog. Man, 3 more months of this...that sounds like eternity already.
first of all, congrats to you and your wife, tmac2k8. your baby is only three weeks old, and this is your first- this is all expected. I am just five weeks ahead of you (8 weeks today). we thought we had a routine and our son has been switching up everything on us- his eating, sleeping, fussy times- they are all different now and of course it is stressful on me and the wife. it's hard, I had my first mini breakdown from his crying and my wife is feeling the cabin fever, sitting on her butt feeding him 12 hours a day. a few of our fights/disagreements come when we don't agree on why he is fussing- is he hungry or just tired? if she would just breastfeed he would stop crying. but is that making his tummy upset and he is just gassy? in other words, everything you are doing is right. hang in there!
My son is 5 months old now, and neither me or my wife have fought through any bouts of depression. Sure, we get tired when he wakes up 3-5 times a night, but it's all part of being a parent and will only last the first few years of his life. I've never felt uneasy giving him a bath, he loves playing in the water. Being a new parent myself, I'm really confused as to why you are feeling this way. If you were a women then I would understand you may be suffering from possible postpartum depression. But your a man you should be enjoying the gift of life and looking forward to teaching your daughter about how to live a good life
We have a 1 year old girl. Forgive the baby, forgive yourself, forgive your wife. It's sounds like you are trying hard so don't beat yourself up if she cries. That will subside with time. Do your best to invest in your relationship with your wife. You two will need each other more than ever during this.
the guy is putting himself out there and expressing some very common universal new dad vibes; it's the fear of not knowing and being able to read your newborn infant. besides, postpartum depression is not exclusive to moms. that being said my baby loves bath time. you + are = you're
You must be very young! This is what happens to everyone, whether you're prepared for it or not. Get used to it.
Everyone has varying degrees of it. It's 1 am and I have been intermittently rocking my baby for the last 2 hours. It sucks at times, and feels overwhelming. I also have a 3 year old. I don't remember it being so difficult, but my wife does...apparently time has dulled the pain. Two things to keep in mind: 1. It WILL get better. Sleep intervals will stretch out, and one day she'll sleep through the night. In the meantime, sleep whenever you can. Screw keeping things clean, whatever else....sleep. 2. Babies sense stress. It sounds stupid, but they do. If you feel yourself getting too freaked. Put her down someplace safe, walk away for a couple minutes (but not too long) and compose yourself. Go back relaxed, smiling, breathing deep. It doesn't have to be real, but if you can fake yourself out, you can fake the baby out. And maybe a third thing....don't always rush to stop her from crying. In a couple more weeks, it will be good to let her cry a bit and start to learn to soothe herself some. I think that's more in the 6-8 week range. Hold tight. Love coffee. And try to eat healthy - handheld fruits make your body feel better than a bag if chips.
My baby is now 2 yrs. I was 36 when she arrived. I told myself that I would endure with a good attitude because being awake and loosing sleep was something I gave up joyfully when out partying. Wasn't easy and had some long nights, but just like a lot of things you face in life your perception of the situation is a large part of how you handle it. I hope things get better for you and everyone involved.
As far as getting her to stop crying, have you read the book Happiest baby on the block by Harvey Karp? It helped me a lot.
You have to remain equipped at all times. Gripe water, gas drops are a good start throughout the day when the baby is really young. Our baby was pretty chill and slept through most of the night with a pacifier. Of course, you have to wake up to feed. It's not easy. You get used to the interrupted sleep. Wait until the baby gets sick. That's when things get tough AF, but it's all worth it. My daughter provides me with a lot of happiness. You'll get through it.
Seriously? LOL. If you are not stress and a little depressed then you are NOT normal. Then again...what til she is 14 and you want to KILL her. LOL. BTW...there are Bath chairs for babies that make bath time easier.
