Here is my situation..... My girlfriend, of two years, just recently broke up with me because she believed she needed time to herself, whatever. I have not spoken with her in about two weeks now, so I am guessing that our relationship will never be rekindled. Anyways, I met this girl who is in a few of my classes at school. Apparently, she told one of my buddies that she was very interested in me. So this past week, she has been hanging out with me alot, and wanted to go out with me yesterday. I guess you could say I am on the rebound, and I took up the offer, and took her to KC's Bar and Grill for some Karaoke and drinks. Well, we hit it off well. The girl is soooooooo full of personality and probably is the most kick ass girl I have ever met. My previous girlfriend was lacking in this category. Well, we chilled there, and in between our songs we sang, we really got to know eachother, and as I said, she kicks major ass. We discovered we have a mutual interest in Prince music, so I took her back to my apartment, and we watch Purple Rain. We had some really tight conversations during the movie, and no action became of it, but that is respectable, she doesnt seem to be an easy slut or something. Well anyways, she left my apartment at around 3:30 this morning, and as I walked her to her car I told her that "You quite possibly could be the most badass chick I have ever met" and she blushed and giggled. Now mind you, I live downtown, and she lives in Kingwood, and she drove back home, so I asked her before she left to just call me when she got home, so I would know she got back allright. She called me, and told me "I got home ok, and I just wanted to tell you I really enjoyed myself tonight with you. I have not had this much fun in a long time" I was pretty enlighted by that comment, and again I told her "It was fun, and again, you really kick ass" About 30 minutes later she called back again, and said "You think I kick ass? Why, that is so weird of you" That was the entire convo that time, and it abruptly ended on that point. I got kind of puzzled by this. So all day today, she was on my mind. I could not stop thinking about her. I called her again tonight to ask her someting about one of our assignments, and she said "Slow down buddy, your acting weird, quit telling me that I am so great" Mind you, I only said it twice, and it was a true statement cause I really think she is. Then she answered my questions about the assignment, and kinda blew me off. Now I am not a stalker or anything, but I will not lie this girl is very interesting to me, truly the personality type that compliments mine, but with those comments I am afraid to even call her now. She seems like she might be bi-polar or something. Do you guys have any advice that you could give me?
I think you could have left it at one "kick ass" remark. It sounds like you guys had a great time, but women don't like guys go show that they are nuts about them right away. Maybe she heard you are on the rebound and doesn't want to be the rebound chick? Slow it down, take it easy and enjoy your time together without seeming too pushy.
True, I am afraid I have already screwed it up by saying that too many times...god women can be so stressful.
Dont call her anymore, just let it ride. If she speaks to you, then hold conversation but let her ask you to hang out next time. Not saying anything can get you way further than spilling the beans. If you do this, she will wonder, why your not trying to get at her. At which point she is going to pursue you more. Remember, she was digging you before you were digging her. Whatever you do dont jock her. IF it was meant to be, then she will come around.
Same problem... sort of... probably greater on my part. i would write her these long ass letters every so often, and I would like call her after every date, and like almost thank her for going out with me. She finally told me to relax, and stop trying so hard, because I didnt need to. But I think my problem might be a little different in that we knew each other longer than you two do. Plus, yours doesnt sound as patient. Lord knows if she didnt have patience, I wouldnt be around. Good grief, I suck...
No disrespect, but I think it's not very romantic to tell a girl "You really kick ass." I don't think most women really go for that.
You are making her feel uncomfortable. Why don't you just go outside her house in a hockey mask while screaming satanic verses and brandishing a Shindaiwa. She thought it was cool the first time, but when you said the exact same phrase again, she started thinking about it and it didn't set well. Get some new terminology in the brainbank or you're back to Rosie Palmer and her 5 sisters.
Seriously. Do you follow up that comment with a belch and a sack-scratching? "You really kick ass" isn't exactly romantic or appropriate to say to a woman. It's been my experience that they don't like to be talked to like one of the guys.
I think you got a little bit carried away too early and scared her. Do something to treat her like crap, and this will renew her interest in you. Women are like that.
actually i think she likes the kick arse comment. anyway, rebounding it quite possibly the worst thing in the world. you know it and it's possible that she knows it. you're not being weird. once you get out of a relationship and jump into another in such a short period of time, you can't help but to realize all the faults the previous girl had and recognize that the new girl doesn't have them. at least you're not comparing the two while talking with the new. that'd be pretty shatty. just take the friend approach first and let it works itself into a relationship. chill with all the compliments... you'll embarrass yourself and embarrass her (unless she's the insecure type).
By all means, slow down but don't act like you don't care and treat her like sh.. That's the worst advice. Girls who like you 'cause you treat them bad aren't worth to be around. Girls who are good enough to be with deserve better. You want to let her know she's cool and you like her but you will take it easy and slow down. Tell her when she feels comfortable then you two can hit it off again.
Sounds like you're still in college, girls shouldnt be a prob if you met this one so fast... just walk away and find a new one, but yeah dump the aggressiveness..
Forget about her. Move on. The best way to forget about her is to find a new girl or girls. Any of the insights above could be true and the only way to find out the truth is to get some distance from and perspective on the woman. Get on with your life and carefully watch what happens next. Take a measured response to it.
My take: "You kick ass" is an empty comment for a female. They are looking for something with more substance then that. Its like when a woman walks in wearing a great outfit and asks what she looks like. You dont say "Well damn, I'd hit that!" you say "You look beautifull" because they understand what you means when you say that. I think you've just confused her. She probably know you like her, but "You kick ass" has her confused.....she probably thought about it and thats why she called you back. Now....you just confuser her and she doesnt like that. My advice, leave it up to her. If she gets back to you, great, dont use any "Guy talk" and if that previous conversation is brought up, just tell her your sorry for being rude, but at the time you just wanted to get across to her how much fun you had and it came out the wrong way. Ofourse, if she doesnt get back to you.... Sorry dude.
continue to pursue her, but not so aggressively. Sometimes, when a guy is too aggressive, women almost equate that to a cute, stupid puppy following them around aimlessly. Some women don't take compliments well. Sometimes, for women, heavy compliments at the beginning of a relationship is a warning sign: this guy is too clingy, he's a stalker, he's a stupid puppy, he's lonely, he's got baggage from a previous relationship, etc.. I think it's easier for a woman to know how a man feels about her, than vice-versa. A women seems to have no problem recognizing that a guy is interested in her (unless she's still in high school). For this reason, I recommend that you stop talking about how great she is - don't smother her. So, now you're faced with "how do I ask her out again without sounding too clingy." Invite her to an occasion: something like, "My friends and I will be going to the (whatever event - movies, theatre, etc.) this weekend. Want to come along?" Or, another way - "hey I came into having two tickets to ( some event) for this weekend. Wanna go?" Invite her to a superbowl party, or something. -- droxford
Chicks cannot stand guys who they see as desperate and/or too aggressive. Play it cool. If you've already screwed the pooch with this one, move on to the next woman. They're all over the place.
I want to agree with droxford who says to continue to pursue this girl, but not to stay so aggressive. Don't say "kick ass" anymore... she told you to cool it and you should listen. Usually, if you let a girl see what she's missing, she will think that you're doing a "hard-to-get" method to get her back. I would suggest not to smile so much when you talk to her about the assignments again, and talk to her as if she is a NEW friend you just found, because that's really what she is now. If she hung out with you and didn't "give it up" or something further didn't develop the first time, it's good to make it build up to something nice. I didn't get anything, even a first kiss, from girls when I dated, and came to find out those who gave up something the first night were either desperate for attention, or not going to remain with you for the long run. That's just my opinion, though... feel free to disagree, anyone. -------------------------------------- Waiting what isabel and other females (right now I don't even know if Mrs. Valdez is a female) can add to this from a female's perspective. Sorry to call you out, ladies, but I just wanted to hear the "other side".
[Jazz from Transformers]Mrs. Valdez is indeed a lady, she just had a baby.[Jazz from Transformers] She's also JuanValdez's wife, but her screen name is a coincidence
