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[Need Advice] - Girlfriend going through a difficult time

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Rock3t Man, Feb 3, 2009.

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  1. Rock3t Man

    Rock3t Man Member

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    So yesterday I posted a thread about my GF wanting to have her party at a club, and basically I was asking for suggestions on some nice clubs 18+ (No Luck). Neway so last night, she was worrying(crying) about the money she currently owes(credit card for paying college courses ... roughly around 600) and how its becoming more and more difficult, she was kicked out by her parents, and she lives with a friend (chick) and her parents, she is starting to feel uncomfortable living at her friend's and she just received a job as a Pharmacist in training, probably pays 8-9$

    She knew I was going to throw her a birthday party at a club, but didnt know I would reserve an area for (meaning it would cost me). So this morning, she called me with and with a very soft spoken voice, tells me, "I dont want to anything for my birthday Saturday(planned to go to club) or Sunday(Dinner w/friends). Instead I would prefer you give me whatever you're going to spend so I can pay my Credit Card."

    Before this she was telling me how, she wanted to go to a nice place and she wanted her friends to be at the club. She souned very eager.

    Should I just give he rmoney to pay her debt or, should I giver her half of what I was going to spend and still take her out regardless of what she told me?

    I really want to her to be happy on her birthday, what is the best solution?

    Thanks in advance
     
    #1 Rock3t Man, Feb 3, 2009
  2. been_exed

    been_exed Member

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    shes drama just leave her.
     
    #2 been_exed, Feb 3, 2009
  3. percicles

    percicles Member

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    Nothing made my ex forget about her problems like some solid Anne Hathaway.
     
    #3 percicles, Feb 3, 2009
  4. rockbox

    rockbox Around before clutchcity.com

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    Giving her money will start a bad precedent but it would definitely help her out more and make her feel better than a expensive night out. If you really care for the girl and this is a long term thing. I would give her the money and take her out to somewhere modest.
     
    #4 rockbox, Feb 3, 2009
  5. Rockets Red Glare

    Rockets Red Glare Member

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    Just give her the $600, tell her it is a gift (read: not to expect you to do it again).

    THEN maybe follow it up with the Anne Hathaway ;)
     
    #5 Rockets Red Glare, Feb 3, 2009
  6. rhadamanthus

    rhadamanthus Member

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    fixed.
     
    #6 rhadamanthus, Feb 3, 2009
  7. DaDakota

    DaDakota Balance wins
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    Do not GIVE her the money, you write the check to her credit card company yourself.

    $600....she is worried about a measely $600....

    That is nothing...

    DD
     
    #7 DaDakota, Feb 3, 2009
  8. Yonkers

    Yonkers Member

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    If she's smart and humble enough to ask for the money to fix her issues (instead of demanding a party and then complaining about money issues later) then I say give her whatever money you were going to spend on that. Minus maybe a little bit so you can still take her out to a nice, small dinner.
     
    #8 Yonkers, Feb 3, 2009
  9. famicom

    famicom Member

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    $600 is not that bad of a debt, but debt is still debt. If she gets that job, she can use half of her paycheck to pay it off in no time. If you can do a house party that will be much cheaper or dinner at home. At least she is trying to take some fiscal responsibility than saying let's go all out for my birthday party. I don't know how much you planned on spending and seems like yall are still pretty young. Maybe $100-$200 for her debt and dinner sounds sufficient.
     
    #9 famicom, Feb 3, 2009
  10. fadeaway

    fadeaway Member

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    To you.
     
    #10 fadeaway, Feb 3, 2009
  11. BigBenito

    BigBenito Member

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    Yeah, I was thinking it was a typo and was supposed to be 60,000, maybe 6,000 if she's really young.

    600? WTH
     
    #11 BigBenito, Feb 3, 2009
  12. Master Baiter

    Master Baiter Member

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    I actually think it's pretty responsible to want to pay off debt instead of going out on the town. I agree with actually paying off the debt instead of giving her the money so that you know for sure that it is going where she says it is going. A lot of people her age wouldn't think twice about going out versus paying off debt. Good for her.
     
    #12 Master Baiter, Feb 3, 2009
  13. danny317

    danny317 Member

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    what if you give her the money but she goes out and buys a new bag or shoes???

    just something to consider...
     
    #13 danny317, Feb 3, 2009
  14. percicles

    percicles Member

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    Look post a pic of your girl. If I approve then I will gladly pay off her debt and pay for the party provided you allow her to spend the weekend in Paris with me. That's $1200 for one weekend. Let me know.
     
    #14 percicles, Feb 3, 2009
  15. ElPigto

    ElPigto Member
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    Just make sure you write out the check to the credit card company she owes it to. I've never been in this situation, but I'm sure if I were in it, I would try to help out, but make sure you are clear with her that you can't bail her out financially every time she needs to be bailed out. This debt isn't even that big, but heck debt is debt and it is a pain.

    Just make sure this doesn't become anything constant. Obviously if you think she is the one, maybe you can approach this differently, otherwise I see nothing wrong with helping someone out when they are in need and you are in a position to help.
     
    #15 ElPigto, Feb 3, 2009
  16. glad_ken

    glad_ken Member

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    Why did her parents kick her out of their house? They may showing her some tough love by making her try to survive on her own. Bailing her out may not be the answer.
     
    #16 glad_ken, Feb 3, 2009
  17. pirc1

    pirc1 Member

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    600 is nothing unless you don't have it.
     
    #17 pirc1, Feb 3, 2009
  18. airbulllard

    airbulllard Member

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    a 600 dollar debt isn't really that much. you can pick up an extra job and pay that off in a few months easily and by controlling your spending.

    but if she really needs help i agree that you should write the check and pay the debt yourself, not give her cash.
     
    #18 airbulllard, Feb 3, 2009
  19. pirc1

    pirc1 Member

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    Good idea, she might be trying to load up on something, you never know.
     
    #19 pirc1, Feb 3, 2009
  20. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    Its extremely rude to ask somebody (even if its your significant other) to not give you a present and just give you the money instead.

    $600 is probably a lot to her now, but honestly can she not make the monthly payment? Its probably like 20 bucks a month. Tell her she's not expected to pay it all back right away, just make payments every month.
     
    #20 moestavern19, Feb 3, 2009
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